And on This Sentimental Journey
by moments.in.spring
Summary: "You know what I meant. This tradition… it's sentimental to me. Don't get me wrong, I love the band – more than anything – but coming back to where it all started… with the rain… with you, I don't want this to ever stop."
1. Coffee

**A/N: Welcome to my new fic! It's probably one of my favorites. I've been working on this one for over a year as a birthday present for the amazing peyton4life. Sorry it's so late, Mel. **

**The italicized portion of each chapters are flashbacks. A good chuck of this story will be told in flashbacks, so just be aware that the story will jump back a forth between the past and the present.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

Rachel was getting impatient.

Sitting at the table, she tapped her foot three times, before resting her chin on the palm of her hand.

He couldn't have forgotten, could he? She pouted her lip at the thought.

But no. No. She wouldn't let it get to her. She quickly chastised herself and shook her head. Now was not the time to get worked up. So what if Finn didn't come? It's not like they were anything. It's not like they could be anything…

With that thought, she gathered her things and was milliseconds from leaving.

Until a tall figure came quickly through the door of the café.

And just like she was glued to her seat.

"Sorry," he said, removing his hat, flipping his hair slightly in an effort to shake the wet rain off his hair. She crinkled her nose as beads of water drops landed on her, but nothing could stop her heart from leaping at the sight of him.

"Puck kept asking questions," he continued, taking the seat directly across from her.

"You should put your hat back on," she changed the subject. "Someone might recognize us." She scanned the room quickly to make sure they didn't draw any attention. Thankfully, no one seemed to mind them.

"But its wet!" he complained, still he did as she said. "You know," he took a hold of her hands, "someday, one day, someone is bound to recognize us. Even with the hats."

"What happens when they do?" she challenged him.

"Nothing. We're not doing anything wrong, are we?" he squeezed her hands.

She couldn't answer him. Still, she squeezed his hands back, and she knew that the simple action alone said it all.

"You were worried that I wouldn't come, weren't you?" he said, seeing right through her.

"I was worried that you were getting tired of this… of our situation," she admitted.

"Rachel," he said softly before quickly pressing her hands against his lips. "If I could make it rain everyday, believe me I would, just to be with you here."

"Because you don't see me enough already," she offered, only somewhat intending for it to be a joke.

"You know what I meant. This tradition… it's sentimental to me. Don't get me wrong, I love the band – more than anything – but coming back to where it all started… with the rain… with you, I don't want this to ever stop."

"So," she smiled, not wanting to discuss the extent of their 'situation' any longer. "What are we going to talk about today?"

* * *

It had become their thing – having coffee together whenever it rained.

See, they had met one rainy day in the coffee shop.

She thought about that day often, but she couldn't help but to think about it right then as she sat on Finn's bed, waiting for her wet socks to finish up in his dryer.

* * *

_Rain in New York City wasn't rare, but it was not necessarily enjoyable either. Especially when it was humid. The humidity did crazy things to her hair. _

_And frizzy hair was just the tipping point of her day._

_Trying hard not to curse at the sky, Rachel tried her best to push all the problems with the band outside of her mind. Seeking shelter, she spotted the nearest shop – which happened to be her favorite café. Relieved and eager to taste a nice, warm cup of coffee, she hurried inside, already formulating her order in her mind._

_Perhaps she would get a scone, oh yes, perhaps a cookie too? Why not? After the long, hectic weeks she's been having, she definitely deserved it. Thank god, it seemed like she finally had something to look forward to – life wasn't that terrible so long as she had her coffee._

_However, as she walked inside, she took one glance at the amount of people who had the same idea as her, much to her dismay. She huffed, and ran her hand down her wet hair. This was just great. All the tables were occupied, where was she going to sit? Not only that, but the line was ridiculously long. What about her coffee? And her pastries? She wanted them now. Was that too much to ask? _

_It was just bad timing, really. Her patience really wasn't usually that low, honest. _

_And normally, she wouldn't condone this type of behavior. But she was going to do it. She was going to scream, and scream loud, right in public, not giving a damn about anything else._

_She opened her mouth, ready to let several weeks' worth of anger and frustration out –_

_Until someone tapped her on the shoulder._

"_Excuse me," she heard._

_Immediately she stiffened, and closed her mouth. Thank god, someone just saved her from a complete breakdown. Plastering a smile on her face, she turned around to face the person who tapped her._

_Only she couldn't help her jaw from dropping yet again._

"_I um… noticed you were alone, and needed a place to sit. There was a empty seat at my table and I thought, hey, maybe I could be nice and share," the man said._

_And oh wow, he was gorgeous. He was tall, so much taller than her, and yet with the way his eyes crinkled and the way his dimples seemed to perfectly compliment his smile, she was in no way intimated by him. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Plus, he invited her to sit with him. She didn't meet nice, handsome people often. _

_And here she was, about to scream in the middle of a café. Not one of her brightest moments._

"_Not that you have to or anything, you know. You don't have to sit with me," he scratched his head. "Or if you wanted to you know, grab and go... or if you're here with someone else... wow, you can totally ignore everything I'm saying. I just thought I'd offer," she watched as he began to rock on one foot. This man was too cute. And sweet. _

_Then she realized she never answered him._

"_No, no. I mean yes. I am. Wait. I mean, yes, I would love to sit next to you" she rambled, fumbling with her fingers. "Thank you so much for offering."_

"_Cool," he smiled even wider, and she could swear that her heart skipped a beat. "So uh, this way."_

_He led the way to way to a table nearby, and pulled a chair out for her. _

"_Thank you," she said, finding the entire situation so surreal. Surely, she was still out in the rain, maybe she was struck by lightning. There was no way that she was sitting with the most handsome stranger in history of mankind._

_Shoot, now she realized she was staring. His eyes caught hers and she took notice of the how he blushed before he looked away. Was he staring at her too?_

"_The rain looks good on you," he said, almost to justify why he was staring. She looked back up at him, half puzzled, half amused. He must have noticed her expression, because he cleared his throat. "What I meant was that you look very nice, even with the rain."_

_A bit self-conscious, she touched her hair, making sure it wasn't too fizzy. _

"_You should see me without the rain," she said back._

_He raised his eyebrow, and she found herself blushing. _

"_I should," he said. "I mean - I should see you without it, too. I'm sure you would look great."_

_He was looking at her, and her insides were all fluttery. She wasn't used to this funny feeling._

"_The rain looks good on you too," she blurted, too fast to take it back._

"_Thanks, but I'm not wet from the rain. At least, I don't think I am," he furrowed his brow, looking down at his shirt._

_Rachel cleared her throat. _"_What I meant to say was that if you did have rain in your hair, it would look good. Not that it looks bad now, it's just that it would look very nice. It's a compliment," she giggled, somewhat nervously, before turning pink. She was embarrassed at how terrible she could be around attractive men._

"_Why thank you," he said, attempting to wink. He was rather awkward too. That only made her adored him more._

_Their actions made the two of them burst out into laughter. _

"_I'm sorry, I don't do this often," he smiled at her._

"_You mean you don't always ask strangers to sit next to you in coffee shops?" she joked, sounding shocked to tease him._

"_Once or twice," he tilted his head. "But you're the first stranger who's made me feel nervous. You're also first one who's under 70." _

_She laughed. "Well I'm honored, but that last thing I want is for you to feel nervous."_

"_I can't help it, it's just that you're the prettiest stranger I've ever met," he admitted shyly, looking down._

_Normally, she would be quick to judge attractive men. Surely, they would know all the right words to say to a girl to make them fall._

_But, Finn was different. She didn't know why. But she could just see how genuine he was. And coming from him, she couldn't help but to believe him._

"_Well then, don't think of us as strangers. Let's just say we met before," she proposed._

"_Oh really?" he looked up, interested. "Where did we meet?"_

"_Hmm…" she thought hard. "We met at… hmm… oh! We met on Black Friday."_

"_Black Friday?" _

"_Oh yes, ages ago. I came alone, you came alone, and we just happened to be standing next to each other in line."_

"_Really now?"_

"_Yes, don't you remember? We both had our eyes on a brand-new flat screen television. Only we were too busy talking to each other that someone snuck up and scored the last one."_

"_That's terrible!" Finn acted shocked._

"_I know!" she exaggerated. "But it all worked out in the end. You helped me pick a brand new set of bedspread."_

"_And you even helped me picked out something for my niece!" he played along, and the simple addition made her beam._

"_That's right. Because you couldn't decided between a Belle or an Ariel doll," she continued on._

"_Yup, you convinced me to get both!" he laughed, and she couldn't help but to laugh again too. _

"_So you see, we're not strangers. No need to for us to be nervous," she said, still smiling._

"_True, but I still don't know your name," he said._

_Rachel was surprised she hadn't told him yet. Introductions were typically the first thing she did when she met someone – especially because she wanted people to know (and remember) her name when she inevitably became famous. Perhaps the reason why she didn't automatically introduce herself was because this man caught her off guard. Or it was because he was something else completely._

"_That's funny," she said. "Considering how we're not strangers. But I'm Rachel," she said, sticking out her hand._

"_Finn," he shook her hand back, up and down, and Rachel couldn't help but to bite her lip, holding back a laugh, as he kept on shaking her hand._

"_What?" he smiled as he continued to shake her hand._

"_Strangers don't shake hands," she pointed out. She didn't necessarily wanted him to stop, she just found teasing him to be too much fun._

"_You're right," he stopped their hands midair. Suddenly, he moved his hand so that their hands were interlocked._

"_Is that better?" he asked, curious yet cautious._

"_Much better," she replied, noticing the way his eyes shined at her response._

_Finding herself blushing, she trailed her eyes away from him and down toward the table. That's when she saw a piece of newspaper and scone placed right beside him._

"_Oh my gosh!" she said, taking her hand out of his._

"_What's wrong?" he asked, concerned._

"_I'm interrupting you! You were in the middle of eating your scone and reading the paper before I came and interrupted you! I am so sorry!"_

"_Rachel," he said, amused. "I asked you to come here. You're not interrupting me. Not in the slightest."_

"_Are you sure?" she asked. She didn't want to disrupt whatever Finn was doing before she came, no matter how much she found herself more and more fascinated and comfortable with him._

"_Nope. I was bored actually. I'm glad you came. But… what about you?"_

"_Me?"_

"_Yeah, you came in in here for a reason. Did you want to buy something?" he asked._

"_Well I originally came in here to seek shelter from the rain, but then I realized that a pastry or two sounded really good__," she said. "But the line is rather long, and I can get pretty impatient," she laughed despite her honesty._

"_Do you want some?" he pointed to his scone. "It's cranberry."_

_She stomached groaned. Cranberry scones were her favorite, and she was hungry. "Maybe just a little," she gave in, and opened her mouth as Finn placed some directly into it._

"_Is it good?" he asked as she chewed._

"_Delicious," she said in between bites. _

"Good. _You can have it," Finn said, smiling._

"_Really?" Rachel asked, her mouth full._

"_Sure. In fact, how about I go buy us some more food?"_

"_No, it's okay I – " Rachel swallowed before Finn cut her off._

"_Too late, I'm already up. What do you want?"_

"_Just a cup of coffee," Rachel caved in. She was hungry._

"_Are you sure?"_

"_Positive," she took another bite. "And maybe a cookie too."_

"_No problem," Finn smiled, tilting his head. " You know, I've never actually drank coffee before."_

"_What?!" Rachel gasped before she swallowed. "Are you serious? You've never had a cup of coffee?"_

"_I don't know, I just never did."_

"_Well what are you waiting for? Go get yourself a cup too," she said. "We're taking away your coffee virginity today, and trust me, your life will never be the same way again."_

_Finn burst out into laughter, and Rachel couldn't help but laugh back._

"_Okay, Rachel. I'll drink one cup, just for you."_

"_Thank you, I'm honored to witness this monumental event. And don't worry, I'll pay you back." _

"_Don't worry about it," he said as he walked over to the line._

_Rachel sank back in her seat as he left. She went from 0 to 100 in just a few moments, all because of Finn._

_She smiled to herself at the thought of the man. No one has ever… intrigued her so quickly more than him._

_She looked at her watch: 15 minutes. It had been only 15 minutes since she walked into the coffee shop, and in just those fifteen minutes she already smiled and laughed more than she had in the past month._

_Maybe Finn was just what she needed._

_Not too longer after, Finn came back with the cups of coffee and deserts in tow. _

_Rachel clapped her hands as he sat down and placed her food in front of her. "Thank you!" she said, taking a sip of the coffee. "And you put the perfect amount of creamer in. Not bad for a beginner."_

_Looking at Finn, she laughed when she saw the way he was looking at his own cup. "Try it! It's not scary!"_

_Nodding, Finn took a deep breath, before he took a sip._

_If his facial expression didn't say it all, then the way he spit the drink back into his cup certainly did._

"_It's hot!" he said, scrunching his nose._

"_That's why you blow it!" Rachel said, taking his cup so she could blow on it herself._

"_There," she said, after a minute of blowing, looking up to see Finn looking at her tenderly. Blushing she pushed the cup back toward him. "Try it now."_

_Nodding, Finn took the cup and slowly took a sip._

"_So?" Rachel asked when he swallowed._

"_Not the best taste in the world," Finn said, honestly. Still he took another sip._

"_So Finn," Rachel said after a few moments of silence. "Why are you here?"_

"_Why am I here?" Finn repeated, sounding confused._

"_Let me rephrase that: what brings you here, in this coffee shop."_

"_Oh, well…" he suddenly looked shy. "I was actually here to read the paper here quietly, alone. My roommate has been getting on my nerves lately. It's been… rough for us since we moved to the city." _

_Sensing another story completely, Rachel placed her hand on the top of his as a sign of comfort. "Trust me, I totally get where you're coming from. Both of my roommates and their drama has got us all in quite a predicament. But you can tell me, you know. The thing that's been troubling your mind."_

"_Thank you," Finn said sincerely, putting his other hand on top of hers, so that her hand was sandwiched in between his. "But you don't want to hear about my struggles."_

"_That's ridiculous," Rachel teased. "I do. And I rarely care about other people, so consider yourself lucky."_

"_Well, where do I begin?" Finn chuckled, taking his hand back and putting in on his forehead, his elbow resting on the table. "I guess, long story short, my roommate and I are both looking for a job. See, we're kind of having trouble paying our rent. Who would have known that living in New York City was going to be so expensive! I was looking at the job listings on the newspaper when you came, actually."_

"_What!" Rachel gasped. "And you paid for all these! Finn!"_

_Finn chuckled. "I can afford some coffee once and awhile, especially for someone that wears rain so well."_

_Rachel slapped his arm playfully. "That's no excuse! Finn, let you pay you back!"_

'"_Not going to happen," Finn shook his head._

"_But-"_

"_I'll tell you what, how about you pay for our next cups of coffee."_

"_Finn, are you tell me that you're willing to drink coffee again?"_

"_Only if it's with you," Finn teased her back._

"_Gosh, you are so cheesy."_

"_So is that a no?"_

"_Consider it a when," Rachel said, giggling at Finn's smirk._

"_Well, I actually have a job interview tomorrow. If I think it goes well, maybe you and I could celebrate. Your treat."_

_Rachel recalled in her head the band's schedule for tomorrow. They had auditions for the two open spots (again). Rachel groaned at the thought of it. So far, no one could quite fit in Pamela Lansbury like Dani and Elliot. And if just trying to replace them was a pain, trying to deal with why they left in the first place was another story. _

_But Rachel didn't want to think about the band, not when someone was finally able to get her mind off of it. _

"_I'm busy in the morning. How about in the evening? You can tell me how it went. What is it for anyways."_

"_I'm not quite sure. My roommate just told me about it. But hey, a job is a job, right?"_

"_Absolutely!" Rachel said. "And if doesn't work out, then it just wasn't meant to be. You'll just end up finding something else that you'll love even more."_

"_Your optimism is inspiring," Finn said._

"_Well, the optimism is conditional," she said bitterly._

"_Now, it looks like it's your turn to say what's on your mind," Finn said, sensing her tone._

"_Breakup drama. I don't really want to get into it. Not today at least." _

_Suddenly, Rachel felt her phone vibrate. "Speak of the devils," Rachel said, before she answered her phone. "Hello."_

"_Where in the world have you been?" the voice on the other line shrieked._

"_Well hello to you too, Kurt," Rachel said sarcastically. _

"_Rachel, I'm being serious here. We were expecting you home ages ago."_

"_You mean, an hour ago. And it was raining, so I went to coffee café just a couple blocks away."_

"_Well it's not raining anymore, is it?" _

_Taking a glance outside, Rachel noticed that it was indeed no longer raining._

"_I guess not. But-"_

"_But what." Rachel heard Santana say. "You better get your Berry butt here now. We need to talk about important matters for tomorrow."_

"_Like what?"_

"_Just come, please," Kurt said. _

"_Tell her I'll be texting her every minute she's not here, just because I know it annoys the crap out of her." Santana yelled through the line._

_Sighing, Rachel hung up the phone and began to stand up. "I have to go," she said, sadly, gathering her things. Her friends just had to find a way to ruin things for her. Sure enough, she felt her phone vibrate from Santana's text._

"_Wait," Finn said, standing up to stand next to her. "We're still meeting tomorrow right?"'_

_Rachel chuckled. "Yes. Tomorrow, right here at say… 5?"_

"_Perfect," Finn said. "Wait, can I have your phone number?" _

"_Can I give to you tomorrow?" Rachel asked, feeling her phone vibrant once more. The last thing she needs is for Finn to see Santana's messages to her. He may not be ready for Santana's intensity just yet. "My roommates can get crazy when they're impatient."_

"_Sure," Finn said, but still he took ahold of her hands. "But before you go, I just want to thank you. I don't know how to explain it, but you couldn't have come into the store at a more perfect time. So thank you, Rachel…"_

_Rachel nearly laughed when she realized they had yet to learn each other's last names. Things certainly were different with Finn. _

"_Berry. Rachel Berry. But you should be thanking the rain, not me. And heck, I should be the one thanking you. I was literally seconds away from embarrassing myself before you tapped my shoulder. So thank you Finn…"_

"_Hudson. Finn Hudson."_

_Finn Hudson, she repeated in her head. It was the perfect name for him._

_Her phone vibrated once more._

"_I'm sorry, I really have to go. I'll see you tomorrow, Finn Hudson."_

"_Goodbye, Rachel Berry," Finn said, squeezing her hand. _

"_Goodbye Finn Hudson!" she replied._

* * *

"What are you thinking about?" Rachel heard a voice, snapping her out of her memories. She smiled at the sight of Finn, now out of his wet clothes dressed in just a boxer and a plain tee. She scooted up in the bed, allowing for him to sit next to her.

"The time we met," she answered, resting her forehead momentarily on his shoulder before looking up at him.

"Can't believe it was almost a year ago?" Finn said, his eyes looking down to meet hers.

"It kind of felt like another lifetime ago."

"Do you regret it?" Finn asked her, his voice soft. "Do you regret everything that has happened since then?"

Rachel glanced down.

"I regret rushing out that night. I mean, I know it's Kurt and Santana's fault. But sometimes I wonder, what if? What if I hadn't left so soon? I mean we connected so quickly."

Finn nodded. "What would you have done?"

"I would have spent all night in that café with you."

Finn was quiet for a bit, deep in thought. "Maybe I would have talked about the fact that Puck and I were musicians. And maybe you would have talked about the band and the "rule." And maybe, I wouldn't have auditioned."

"Maybe. But I'm glad that you did, though," Rachel said, quietly. "Let's face it, with both needed each other."

"Me too. I'm glad," he admitted.

"I just wished that I would I have known then that. Oh, had I known…"

"What would you do?" Finn said, his voice curious yet vulnerable.

"I would have kissed you that night. So I wouldn't have to wonder what it would really be like."

Finn said nothing. He didn't need to.

He looked at her, warmly yet full of yearning, desperately. Slowly, his face inched closer toward hers. Rachel felt hers do the same. Feeling flushed, she allowed them to move closer and closer to one another. Closer then ever. For a moment, Rachel was convinced it was finally going to happen.

But she knew it couldn't.

So she turned away at the very last second.

"But there's nothing we can do about it now," Rachel said, turning to stand up and off the bed. She bravely looked at him, his sad yet accepting face matching hers.

"My socks are probably dry," she continued, clearing her voice. "And I should probably get going, Santana and Kurt might start to wonder where I am…"

"Yeah," Finn turned to get off the bed. "And Puck might be coming soon, too."

They nodded to each other, in understanding.

Finn followed her out to the dryer, watching her as she took out her socks.

"Thanks for these, by the way, the socks," she told him, wobbling a bit as she stood on one foot to put it on.

Noticing her struggle, Finn shook his head in amusement. "Here," he said, putting his hands on her waist to hold her steady.

Rachel made a face at him before successfully putting both socks on her feet.

Finn left his hands on her waist for a moment before placing them on her cheeks.

"You are the cutest thing, Rachel Berry," she squeezed her cheeks, making her pout.

Rachel laughed, before removing his hands off her face.

"I know," she said, patting his face twice. "You're pretty cute too."

"And that's why we're best friends," Finn said, sticking his fist out.

"The bestest," Rachel replied, bumping his fist with hers.

Laughing, Finn pulled her in for a hug. "Are you sure you don't want me to help you home?"

"Please," Rachel said against his chest. "The last thing I need is for Kurt and Santana to see you escorting me home."

"I'll just say I needed to talk to them about the band. I could share with them the song we were working on."

"Finn, we're meeting tomorrow. We don't want them to be suspicious," Rachel said, putting her hands on his shoulders.

"But they have no reason to be. We're not dating, Rachel."

Rachel eyes widened at his words, and she took a step back. Taking a deep breath, she allowed herself to fully accept his words. He's right. They're not dating. They can't date each other.

"Believe me, I know we aren't. But I don't want them to think we are. You and I… even though we're just friends - best friends… we're complicated. And there's too much at stake here, Finn. And we – "

"Have to put the band first. I know. I know," Finn continued her sentence. He pulled her against her arms once more and pressed a kiss against her hairline as she sank against him.

"Just so you know," Finn said, holding her tight, "I don't regret anything that has happened since then. Not a single thing."

Beaming up at him, tears starting to fill her eyes, Rachel pinched his nose. "Thank you, Buddy."

"Thank you, Buddy," Finn said, his voice sounding nasally thanks to her grip on his nose.

Laughing, Rachel let go and stepped out of Finn's arms.

"Call me when you get home," Finn said as they headed toward the door.

"Sure thing," Rachel said as they both stepped out. "Good night," Rachel turned to him. Stepping on her toes, she pressed a kiss against his cheek.

"Good night," Finn smiled, pressing a kiss against her nose.

"Go to sleep early," Finn called as she began to walk away.

"If I fall asleep late, it'll be your fault," Rachel yelled as she turned around to stick her tongue at him.

Laughing when Finn mimicked her actions, Rachel blew him a kiss and left.

How she got to where she was with Finn Hudson, she'll never know.

* * *

**Thank you for reading the first chapter! More will reveal itself in the chapters to come. Stay tuned!**

**Also, I actually wrote a little story about Finn and Rachel's "first meeting" on my tumblr. It's called "Black Friday Shopping." Although it isn't in the same universe story as this story, feel free to check it out. There's a link to my tumblr in my profile if you are curious.**

**Thank you all! **


	2. Midnights

** A/N: Back with more pieces of the puzzle. Also, just as a little reminder, the italicized portions of the story are flashbacks.**

* * *

"Now, for today's order of business…" Kurt began, gesturing at a poster board that was proudly displayed on its stand.

Spacing out momentarily, because Kurt's weekly band evaluation meetings were really quite a bore, Rachel snuck a peak at Finn, who was sitting next to Puck.

"Rachel!"

"Yes," Rachel snapped back instantly, hoping no one caught her peaking.

"Can you share with us your evaluation of the group?" Kurt demanded.

"Right," Rachel said, standing up, as was customary.

"Kurt, you've been great leading this band. It's almost unrecognizable from where it was a year ago. But I think you need to be more flexible. We need to try different songs and diversify our selections so that they're not too dull."

Kurt nodded slightly. "Understood."

Rachel moved on. "Santana. You're getting better at working with the recording staff. However, you really, really need to stick with your melodies," Rachel said next, earning nothing but a scoff from Santana.

"Puck," Rachel began. "Thank you for coming on time this past month. But please, coming on time does not mean you can leave early."

"Awww, Berry wants to spend more time with me," Puck said, slouched in his seat with his hands resting behind his head. Rachel just rolled her eyes.

Finally, she turned to Finn, glaring her eyes. "Finn, your songs lack emotion," she said bluntly.

"Hey hey!" Kurt chipped in. "Remember, rule number 6, all critiques during band evaluations must have both a positive and a negative element."

"No, no, it's fine," Finn stood up. "Hey, since Rachel's setting the new standard, how about I'll go next," Finn said sarcastically. "Kurt, I like poster. It's less confusing as your last one. But you still need to reconsider our band's outfits. They're a bit too much."

Kurt gasped.

"Santana, I'm happy you're so enthusiastic about the songs I write, but you need to be happy with whatever parts of the song you get. Stop bribing me to give you more parts."

"Whatever," Santana shrugged.

"Puck, nice job finding someone who's finally a good influence on you, but please don't touch my drumsticks anymore and use them as swords, at least not without my permission."

Puck just flipped him off.

"And finally," Finn turned to Rachel, his glare matching hers. "Rachel, you need to sing with more emotion."

"Excuse me?" Rachel interjected, her eyes glaring at Finn.

"You're holding back," Finn said simply, knowing it would instigate her more.

"I'm holding back? You're the one who- "

"Enough! Enough! Rachel! Finn! Are we seriously doing this again?" Kurt yelled over the two of them. "Look, we are a band. We can't have you two arguing like this again and again. Quite frankly, I'm sick and tired of it. So, I have no choice. Rachel, you are to work with Finn on a new song."

"Seriously Kurt?" Finn groaned.

"Have you forgotten, band rule number 11?" Kurt cleared his throat. "The elected band leader has the right to assign band tasks as necessary – even if it is against a band member's will."

Finn and Rachel were silent.

"So, Finn, Rachel, work on a song tonight. And Rachel, don't even think about coming home until you finish at least the first draft."

"Kurt!" Rachel gasped.

"Think about it like this, the more you two cooperate, the faster you'll finish the song, and the faster you'll get to go home," Kurt shrugged.

Finn and Rachel once again were silent, and retreated back to their respective seats.

"Now," Kurt began again. "Shall we continue with evaluations?"

As Puck began his evaluations, Rachel allowed the corner of her eye to sneak a glance at Finn.

Sure enough, he caught her gaze, and shot her a quick wink when no one else was looking.

Their plan was a success.

That was the thing about the bands rules. As much as they sucked, sometimes, just sometimes, these rules could work to their advantage.

* * *

_When Elliot and Dani left Pamela Lansbury, the first official band-related thing Kurt, Rachel, and Santana had to do was to write a band constitution._

_The document was carefully compromised of 15 band rules regarding proper band behavior, etiquette, rights, obligations and punishments. The constitution, in essence, would serve as a contract between the members of the band._

_However, in the past weeks since the split, it had seemed that the constitution was the only productive thing the band had done. After many rounds of auditions, it had seemed that they couldn't find anyone to fill up the two empty spots. _

_Rachel Berry was very much aware of this as she stepped inside their studio. Once again, they were having auditions, and if these two applicants were no good, their chances of finding anyone were going to diminish even further. _

_Still, Rachel couldn't bring herself to care._

_Sitting on the studio, she couldn't stop thinking about Finn. Finn Hudson to be exact. Even though she had only met him the night before, she was sure that Finn Hudson was sent into her life for a purpose. It was crazy, she knew. But for some reason, she had a feeling that he would help lead her to something else, something great. What that something was, she wasn't sure yet. But it was worth looking into._

"_You're not still mad at us, are you?" Santana said, plopping down on the seat right next to her._

_Rachel ignored her. Of course she was angry. Santana and Kurt had urgently called her the night before and demanded her home, cutting her time with Finn short. However, when she had returned home, it had turned out that the only reason why they wanted her home was so that she could change the battery in the smoke detector. Needless to say, she hadn't spoken to either of them since._

"_Come on, like or not, a low-bat smoke detector is an emergency."_

"_Then why make me change it? Me?! The shortest one! Face it, you and Kurt were just too lazy to change it, but the constant beeping annoyed the hell out of you," Rachel snapped, throwing her arms up in anger._

_Santana only smiled. "Great, now that your attempt at the silence treatment is over, its time for a way more important manner… gossip. And the best kind too."_

_Rachel glared._

"_Well, if you don't want to know –" Santana stood up._

"_Fine, fine," Rachel caved. "Tell me."_

"_You know, if you weren't so overdramatic last night, Kurt would have told you too," Santana smirked as she sat back down._

_Rachel glared. "Are you going to tell me or not?"_

"_Okay, okay, get this, one of the guys auditioning, the one of the two that spoke to Kurt on the phone, plays the guitar."_

"_That's good," Rachel nodded, a guitarist was essential to their band._

"_And supposedly, the other one is a drummer."_

_A drummer. They never had a drummer. They pretty much relied on Dani's for the background beats. The news made Rachel feel a bit off. This would be so different for the band. _

_Huh… a drummer... he probably had huge arm muscles…_

_Suddenly, for some reason, her mind drifted back to Finn. Finn had rather toned muscles. She smiled at the thought of him. And his muscles._

_And she didn't know why... why her brain worked it did, but for some reason, she began to imagine Finn as a drummer. _

_Oh god, he was so attractive. So, so attractive. With his arms, his toned arms controlling the beat. And he was so good at it too. And… And…._

_Her brain clicked together._

_Finn and his roommate were looking for a job. They had a job interview tomorrow. Could it be?_

"_Santana," Rachel began carefully. "Did Kurt tell you the names of these people?"_

_Santana smirked. "Yeah, and get this. The guitarist guy calls himself Puck. Puck!"_

"_And the other one?" _

"_This one is just as good. His name, his real name, is Finn."_

"_Finn?" Rachel's mind began spin. No..._

"_Yes!" Santana burst out into laughter. "Finn Hudson. Like a fish and the river."_

_Finn._

_Finn Hudson._

_Finn, the guy she could not stop thinking about, Hudson._

_He was going to audition for her band._

_Her band._

_Suddenly, the buzzer rang._

"_They're here!" Rachel heard Kurt sing a couple feet away. _

_This was wrong. Finn could not join her band. It would ruin everything they had – or rather, everything they could possibly have… _

_No, Rachel wasn't ready. _

"_I have to use the bathroom. I... I… I feel a little dizzy. I might be awhile. Go ahead and let them start without me. I'll be listening, I swear," Rachel lamely excused herself._

"_But Rachel- " Kurt called out, but still Rachel went inside and locked the door._

_Exhaling deeply, she slumped herself against the door._

_What was she going to do?_

_After a few a more breaths, she began to hear voices. Curiously, she pressed her ear against the door to listen._

"_The name's Puck," she heard a hard voice. _

"_Hi, I'm Finn, thank you so much for having us," Rachel heard another voice, a voice she could never forget._

_It truly was her Finn Hudson that was about to audition._

"_You'll have to forgive us, our other member is in the bathroom. She isn't feeling too well. But she'll be out eventually," Rachel heard Kurt say. "So anyways, tell us, what exactly do you know about our band?"_

"_No, I'm afraid not much," Finn began. "Puck just saw your ad in the bar."_

"_Yup, 'Pamela Lansbury, looking for two or more musicians, call for inquiries,' so I thought hey, I Finn and I were two musicians, and so we inquired, and scored got this audition," said another man, presumably Finn's roommate._

"_Well, no worries, long-story short, we're a cover band. So far, we've only had a few gigs, but we're working on going all the way to the top. So uh… right, so if you follow us, you'll find everything you'll need for your audition. Finn, you'll have to excuse us for the condition of the drum. We got all of our instruments and equipment from donations, and I'm afraid we've never had a drummer to take care of it."_

"_No worries, this drum here is beauty," Finn said, and through the bathroom door, Rachel couldn't help but to smile at his genuine kindness._

_It was the same kindness that made her smile. His heart and his kindness made Finn, well Finn. Her Finn. The Finn that was going to lead them to their something great._

_And she wasn't going to let the band and it's rules take him away from her. _

_Knowing what she had to do, Rachel stepped out of the bathroom, only to hear the music already playing._

_The first part of the audition was simple: show off your talents. If they sounded good, then they moved onto the second part, where Kurt, Santana, and herself sang with the people who were auditioning to see if they blended well together._

_So far, not too many people could make it that far. However, from what Rachel could tell, these two most definitely going to advance._

_They sounded amazing. Phenomenal. And this made Rachel even more worried._

_Quickly, she ran into the room where they were playing, only to stop when he was in clear view._

_Her mind did not give drummer Finn justice._

_He was even in more spectacular in real life. Finn didn't just drum the beat - he was the beat. He was so natural and one with the music. _

_It wasn't long before Finn caught her eye, and the smile on his face at the sight of her would be permanently engraved into her head, and maybe even into her heart._

_Smiling, yet conflicted, she made a "shhhh" gesture, holder her finger up to the lower part of her face._

_Nodding, Finn seemed to understand._

_As soon as Finn and Puck were done, Kurt, Santana, and Rachel all applauded._

"_Lovely!" Kurt exclaimed before noticing Rachel. "Good, you're back. Now, for round two, myself, Santana, and Rachel - the other person in our band and our lead vocalist - will be singing with you guys, to get a feel of our band sound."_

"_What song are we going to sing?" the guitarist asked._

"_Madonna of course" Kurt answered. _

_Clearing her throat, Rachel took her position at the front while Kurt got everyone situated._

_Looking behind her shoulder, she caught Finn looking at her. Smiling at her, he made a cup figure with his hands, and made a drinking gesture with his hand before sticking up all 5 figures._

_Rachel instantly understood. She was supposed to meet Finn at their coffee shop at 5 that same day. She quickly nodded before turning to the front._

"_Everyone ready?" Kurt asked. "Okay, on the count of three, one… two… three…"_

_Finn started the first few beats, and before long, all five of them were united in the song. _

_They were performing a love song, of course, a song Rachel had performed many, many times. But this time was different, it was entirely new, entirely unique. This was a different kind of musical dynamic. It was better different, better than what they could have ever anticipated._

_This was music. And during the song, Rachel forgot about her dilemma. She forgot about the rules. All that mattered was the music._

_Soon, the song came to an end, and Rachel was breathless. _

"_Right," Kurt brought everyone back. "So, Finn, Puck, thank you for auditioning. We'll let you know of our decision before the end of the week."_

"_Thank you," Finn instantly got up, and headed over to her. _

_Rachel gulped. She had left the bathroom not too long ago with a mission. But now, after hearing Finn, and singing with him, Rachel had no idea what to do. _

"_I'm Rachel, by the way," Rachel said to Finn as he came up to her, right in front of everyone. Her eyes begged him to play along. Oh she could only imagine what he must be thinking. If only he knew._

"_Finn," Finn shook her hand, and Rachel was instantly taken back to when Finn first shook her hand, just last night. _

_As soon as he let go, she quickly introduced herself to Puck, and not too long after, the two of them departed._

"_I like them," Kurt said as soon as the door closed. "That Finn guy was kind of cute."_

"_Hey, hey," Santana snapped. "You know the rules. You know why we made them in the first place."_

"_I know, I know," Kurt shot his hands up, surrendering. "I'm just saying he's cute. Besides, they're not in the band yet."_

"_I don't want to sound desperate or anything, but we have to have those two in our band," Santana said._

"_I don't know," Rachel said, truthfully. _

"_Rachel, this is a no brainer. They're good, we're amazing, and together, we are going to kick ass," Santana said, kicking the air for emphasis._

_Rachel knew she had a point, but still…_

"_I'm just thinking, they might be too different from us. They seem more like rock artists, KISS fans... and you know how we love our classics."_

"_Well, sorry, but Kurt and I-"_

"_No, Santana, rule number 2, all decisions must be made unanimously," Kurt said. "But come on, Rachel, you heard us. There's no doubt that those two are our best chance, and so far they're the only ones who could possibly fit into our band, your band. This was our dream, remember? And frankly, I think it's their dream too."_

_With Kurt's words Rachel recalled everything Finn had told her the night before. _

_Finn needed this job._

_And her band needed him._

_Suddenly, the right decision became obvious._

_She had to let him, and whatever they had, go. _

_Finn was going to join her band._

* * *

Complying with Kurt's "demand," Rachel left the band's studio with Finn.

Crossing her arms, she waited for Finn to haul a taxi.

"Is Puck not coming back with us?" Rachel asked as she stepped inside. Sliding to the other side so that Finn could enter right behind her, Rachel took a seat behind the driver's seat.

"Nope," Finn said as he sat down behind the passenger's seat and buckled up. "He's going over to Quinn's."

Rachel raised her eyebrow. "Again?"

Finn nodded. "Interesting, right?"

"Very interesting," Rachel agreed, looking out the window, only to be interrupted with a poke at her side.

"Hey," Rachel turned to smile toward Finn, who was already turned toward her. "Did you just poke me?" Rachel asked laughing.

Finn smiled mischievously. "Of course I did! I need to tell you something," He slung his arm around her neck, pulling her close.

"My seatbelt!" Rachel exclaimed, pulling out his embrace. Noticing that they were already far enough from the studio, Rachel quickly ejected her seatbelt and transferred into the middle seat.

"Now," she buckled up, and placed Finn's arm back around her neck, resting her hand on top of his. "What did you need to tell me?"

"Well," Finn chuckled, "I wanted to talk to you about our song."

"Ah yes," Rachel nodded. "We need to write a song."

"That's true. But it can't be just any song. It has to be the best song that I've written yet. And as I remember clearly, you said that my songs lacked emotion," Finn teased.

"And you said that my voice lacked emotion," Rachel teased back.

"Exactly, so we need to pour our entire hearts and souls into this song."

"How do you suppose we're going to do that?"

Finn shot her a half-smile. "That's my point. It isn't going to happen right away. We're going to need time to write a song as epic as the one we are going to write."

"Time?" Rachel asked, slightly moving her face toward him.

Using the arm that was still wrapped around her, Finn gently pulled Rachel to rest on his chest.

"A lot of time. To find inspiration of course."

Rachel smiled as she felt Finn's heart beat against her cheek.

"It's a shame that I can't go home until we finish," Rachel nuzzled her check against his chest.

"You know all the members have to abide by the rules, and rule number 11 is no exception," Finn stroked her hair.

"What we're doing... is it wrong? Rachel asked more seriously as she removed her head off his chest to look him in the eyes.

"Tell me Rachel, what exactly are we doing?"

"We're hanging out," Rachel justified honestly. "We're not dating. Because dating would imply that we want to possibly be in some sort of official, intimate, labeled union and status. And we're not. We know we can't have that. So, we're just, two people, who are very, very close... and who care a lot about each other... and who are very comfortable with one another... and who just happen to enjoy spending a lot of time together."

"And we're doing it for the sake of the band too," Finn added. "I mean, we're doing all of this so we can write a good song, we're just doing it in a way that would make the process more fun."

"That's right," Rachel agreed, resting her head against his chest again. "But," Rachel sat up again, "is it right to be deceiving the band, you know, pretending that we aggravate each other all the time?"

"Rachel, you're the one who started this act. You know our friends. You know what will happen if they misunderstand our dynamic. They're going to exaggerate it, and it will tear the band apart, which is exactly what we don't want. We're helping the band."

"I suppose," Rachel said, putting her head back on his chest again.

"Hey, Buddy?" Finn asked.

"Yeah?"

"If you could go back and amend that rule, would you?"

"Buddy, you and I both know that answer to that."

* * *

_"You were amazing!" Finn exclaimed as soon as he saw her._

_He was standing right outside the coffee shop at five, just as they said._

_"You, you were amazing," Rachel smiled slightly. "Finn, you're a drummer, a really, really good one."_

_"Rachel, your voice is without a doubt the most beautiful voice I've ever heard in my life," Finn said, taking her hands in both of his. "I have no doubt that you're going to because famous."_

_"Thank you," Rachel said, a bit somberly. She exhaled deeply. She would have to do it sooner or later. She removed her hands out of his. "Finn, can we talk about today?"_

_"Yeah, yeah, sure, come on, let's go inside. To be honest, I'm actually a little sad. It's not raining today. You know how I feel about your hair during the rain." _

_"Finn," Rachel stopped him. "Can we talk here? It's important."_

_Finn looked at her concerned. "Is everything okay? Kurt said you weren't feeling too well earlier when you were in the bathroom. Are you feeling alright?"_

_"No, no, it's not like that," she placed her hand on his cheek, just for her own sake. "I'm okay. But Finn, I need to tell you something."_

_"What is it?" Finn asked, placing his on top of hers._

_"It's about the band," Rachel removed her hand. "Don't tell anyone, not even Puck, that I told you this, but you guys in."_

_"In as in-"_

_"You're in the band!" Rachel smiled at his happy expression. That was the only justification she needed. She had indeed made the right decision. _

_"Yes!" Finn exclaimed as he moved to give her a hug._

_"But Finn," Rachel took a step before he could go close. "There's one condition."_

_"Yeah, yeah, of course," Finn said, still happy. "What is it?"_

_"We have to stop seeing each other like this," Rachel said, the words immediately causing her immense sadness._

_"What?" Finn said, his face shocked and puzzled._

_"Us potentially going out on dates… like what we were supposed to do today. It has stop."_

_"But, why?" he asked, confused._

_"It's a rule. Rule number 14, band members are not allowed to date other band members. It's a part of the band constitution, it's band law."_

_"I see," Finn said, and his immediate understanding made Rachel realize how real the situation was._

_And who was she kidding? Of course Finn would understand. In fact, it was rather silly of her to think that he wouldn't. Finn needed to be a part of this band. Why would he give up the opportunity for someone he had only just met? Obviously, Finn would choose being in a band over being in a possible relationship with her. It was only practical._

_So why did that thought hurt her so much?_

_No. She could no longer allow Finn to have such an impact on her feelings. _

_"I'm glad we stopped this before this really became anything," Rachel said, building a wall to protect herself from any further pain._

_"Before this became anything?" Finn repeated, frowning._

_"Yeah, you know, before anything got too complicated. Look, you're a part of the band now. And it's time for us to let go of whatever we thought was going to happen based off of yesterday, and it's time we just move on and forget about it."_

_"So what's our story then?" Finn snapped. Rachel was shocked. Rachel had never thought someone as sweet as Finn could get so provoked. "Do we pretend that yesterday never happened?"_

_"Well, yes. As far as the band knows, we never met before. We were strangers when we met at your audition today," Rachel said rationally._

_"Yesterday didn't mean anything to you?" Finn asked, and Rachel ignored the evident pain in his voice._

_"Finn, that doesn't matter. I'm just saying, we just met yesterday. Can you image what it would be like if you auditioned later? After things got more serious between us? Look, perhaps this was a sign from the universe. And frankly, everyone wins this way. We need each other. Why can't you see that I'm doing you a favor?"_

_"Ah, now I get it. I see you've made your choice then" Finn nodded angrily. _

_"What choice? No, you don't understand, it's a good thing we weren't-" Rachel began to say._

_"No, I understand clearly. Thank you for the favor, Rachel. It was nice meeting you today." _

_And with that, Finn walked away from her, leaving behind their story of everything that happened prior._

* * *

104 songs.

Rachel and Finn had listened to 104 songs before they decided to start writing their own.

It was her idea to listen to them. They were, after all musical artists themselves, and the best way to write a song was to listen to them. Every song had some sort of story.

Rachel had this in mind as she let the music take control of her. See, Rachel had a lot of self-control. It was one of the many things Rachel prided herself on. However, when it came to music, she could just let go without a second thought.

And music had the same affect on Finn as well.

Even Finn – who had never really enjoyed dancing– couldn't help but to take her into his large arms and dance with her all around the living room when a slow love song had played. This was, of course, several songs after they heard a heavy metal song and showed off their rock moves. Variety was in music was very important.

So now, 104 songs later, they had retreated to Finn's room and sat with their legs crisscrossed on his bed, surrounded by sheet music.

"Can you believe that it's been about seven hours and I've still haven't heard any pestering from Kurt about the status of our song?" Rachel asked Finn, who in turned look at the clock.

"Not really," Finn shrugged. "I mean, he wanted a great song, and if it means that we have to pull an all-nighter, then so be it. Plus, I think he really does want us to be spending time with one another. If anything, I think he'd only call to check and see if you haven't stormed off yet."

"Ha ha," Rachel pushed him playfully. "Very funny. But I'm not the only one who has a tendency to storm off. You, my dearest Buddy, are also guilty of storming of many, many times."

"Oh yeah," Finn challenged her. "Name one time."

"Hmm, I don't know, how about the time when I told you that you had made it into the band?"

"Oh, that time."

"Oh yeah, that time," Rachel mocked him.

"You know that was your fault just as it was mine."

"I'm not saying that it was anyone's fault. I'm just saying that you are a little diva, just like the rest of us."

"Which is why we're the perfect band!" Finn exclaimed.

"Can you believe you and Puck auditioned about a year ago?" Rachel smiled. "Nothing's been the same since."

"Officially 364 days ago," Finn said rather affectionately.

"You mean?"

"Yup, it's past midnight, which means, a year ago, I was seconds away from watching you scream in our favorite coffee place."

Rachel blushed at the memory. "Doesn't feel like it. Feels like much longer."

"Well, it's only 122 cups of coffee later."

Rachel was stunned. "You kept track?"

"It isn't too hard, I mean it rained 122 times in the last 12 months, so…" Finn scratched his head.

Still, Rachel was beyond touched.

"What else have you been keeping track of?" she placed her hand on his knee.

"I don't know, look can we just forget about it and–"

"Finn," Rachel insisted.

"They're mainly just band stuff. 94 bar gigs, 48 of our own written songs, 4 openings… stuff like that. But when it comes you? Well, I guess 121 pairs of wet socks. Oh and I guess it's officially 152 midnights together," Finn said without pausing. "And zero dates," he added quickly.

"Finn, how do you remember all of that? Especially the midnights one," Rachel placed her hand on his forearm.

"I don't know. It's easy, I guess. I just… I don't know how to explain it to you."

"You could try," Rachel encouraged him.

"Do you know how it is? When you have so much… so much fun? And when you're with someone you care about, and you can just do everything or anything, regardless of what it is, and it will just make you truly, truly happy. It's like you're just there, in that time and place, with that person, and nothing else in the universe. Do you know what that's like?"

"I do," Rachel said, inching closer to Finn.

"Well, I feel that way whenever I'm playing with the band, when I'm playing with you. And as for the midnights? I don't know, I think it's because you officially became my "Buddy" on our first midnight together, and I guess I like it when I end a day and start a new day off with you. I suppose my mind just keeps track of those times. I guess, when I think about how they've all added up, it just makes me think that my life has pretty damn perfect since it all began at 1."

Rachel was silent for a moment, a realization dawning on her. She did understand.

"That's it!" she said, snapping her figures.

"That's what?" Finn said, confused as why Rachel was suddenly shuffling through the bed.

"There it is!" Rachel held up the notepad she had found. "You want an emotional song, I'll give you one," Rachel said stubbornly. Grabbing a pencil, she took a piece of paper and began to write key words.

"Rachel, what are you doing?"

"I'm writing key points for our song."

Finn peaked over to see what she was writing.

"It's a song about… a perfect life?"

"You make it sound so boring," Rachel said, crumpling up the piece of paper before grabbing another sheet. "But in essence, yes, a dream life. It's about finding that perfect life alone, but then you meet someone, and they change your life and help you achieve your dream, and it's something better than of what you could have ever possibly imagined."

"So a love song?" Finn asked.

"I suppose," Rachel tilted her head, poking her tongue through as she began to think. "You know how those helpless romantics are. But it can't be too cheesy, we need to tend to a broader audience. We need a catchy beat, but not too techno, you know?"

"Okay, Finn said slowly, looking at her notes as she wrote furiously. She didn't how songwriting worked, but all of a sudden, after her talk with Finn, she was just so… inspired.

"That would be good for the chorus," Finn said. Humming a bit, he sang a bit of the words. "That's the beat!" Finn exclaimed once he found the right tune. Quickly, he grabbed a sheet and began work on the chorus with her.

Rachel paused him momentarily to watch him. "You're amazing, Finn," she said to him, beaming.

"Not really, we're going to have to change it a lot once we work with the piano. But it's just the general tune that I'm doing" he gave her a smile.

"But your lyrics, now they're really good," he said as he leaned over to flick her nose.

Laughing, Rachel pushed his arm. "You're the one who inspired me, silly. And besides, I'm the amateur one here. You've been writing songs for us since we started making our first album."

"True, but that's because I've got a pretty great Buddy to support and inspire me," Finn said, leaning to kiss her temple.

"Yeah yeah," Rachel said as he pulled away. "Get working," she smiled at him.

* * *

_"I'm sorry, but I refuse to be a part of something called Pamela Handshurry."_

_"It's Pamela Lansbury," Rachel clarified._

_It was their first official band meeting - roughly a week had passed after their audition, and now Finn and Puck were reviewing the constitution._

_"Yeah, no way in hell is my band going to be called that," Puck snorted._

_"You mean our band. Technically, you're not even a part of it yet," Santana corrected him. _

_Puck ignored her, and instead he flipped through the band constitution. "'Rule number 10, band members are not allowed to have ice in their drinks.' Seriously? Look, before Finn and I officially sign this thing, some changes have to be made."_

_"We're listening," Kurt offered. _

_"First of all the band name. It sucks." _

_"Okay, then, Puck, what name ideas do you have?" Santana demanded._

_Puck smirked. "The Puckasaurs."_

_"Hell no," Santana stood up. _

_"Okay, okay. How about we all go around and suggest a name?" Kurt compromised. "Santana?"_

_"Devilicious Pents."_

_"No," Kurt frowned. "Finn, do you have an idea?"_

_Rachel looked at him for the first time that night. So far, neither of them had acknowledged the other. Rachel didn't know where exactly they were standing. _

_"We're a cover band, right?" Finn asked softly._

_"As of now, yes," Kurt replied._

_"How about… " Finn paused for moment, deep in thought. "The Sentimentals."_

_There was no immediate response._

_"I like it," Kurt finally said, breaking the silence. "Santana?"_

_"It'll do," she shrugged. _

_"Puck?" Kurt asked._

_"I mean, it's better than Devilicious Pents."_

_"Rachel?" Kurt asked Rachel, who had had not yet taken her gaze of off Finn. She jumped a bit when Finn made eye contact with her. Rachel immediately turned away._

_"It's good," she answered. _

_"Any other suggestions?"_

_Everyone shook their heads. _

_"Good," Kurt said. "So it's official. Our first amendment will be to change the band name from Pamela Lansbury to The Sentimentals. Any other questions or concerns about the constitution?"_

_"Yeah," Puck pointed to a place on the constitution. "Rule number 3, every year, a band leader must be elected. What exactly is a band leader?"_

_"A band leader is the one who handles all the media and managerial tasks. He or she is also in charge of leading group discussions. Currently, I am the band leader, but since we are a practically a new band, I am willing to hold elections again. Any nominations?" _

_"Yeah, can you nominate yourself?" _

_"No."_

_"Oh, well then, I'm fine with you," Puck answered, not really caring._

_"Finn?"_

_"You got my vote, Kurt."_

_"Do you guys want to change your vote?" Kurt asked Rachel and Santana, who both shook their heads. _

_"Nice. So, Puck, Finn, any issues with the rules?"_

_"Rule 10," Puck said. "I like my drinks icy."_

_"Fine," Kurt rolled his eyes. "However, in return, band members must have regular check ups with the doctor to ensure that they, and their voices, are in tiptop shape. Agreed?"_

_They all nodded their heads._

_"Finn? Do you have a question?"_

_"Yes I do," Finn inquired. "It says here that all members of the band must contribute to the studio rent, but Puck and I are still trying to cover our own rent. Is there any way we can receive our advanced payments?"_

_"See," Kurt turned a shade of pink. "That's the thing, we don't make a lot of money ourselves. We have a couple or so gigs, and that's it. So we can't actually make money until our next show, and I don't know when that will be. I know that this wasn't what you expected when you auditioned, but I promise you, with the five of us together, we'll get there someday. We're going to take the world by storm."_

_"I understand, I really do, but Puck and I still need to pay our rent or else our landlord will kick us out," Finn said. _

_"In the case, how about you and Puck just live with us?"_

_"What?" Finn and Rachel asked simultaneously._

_They made eye contact with one another, not sure what to make of this development. _

_"We can rearrange the apartment again so that they fit. It'll be cramped, but we can make it work."_

_"Hey, I'm down," Puck said. "This and the studio rent will still be way cheaper than what we're paying now."_

_"No," Rachel said flatly. It was awkward enough just being in the same room as Finn, but living with him? Living with the man she couldn't stop thinking about, but who also happened to be off limits? There was no way she could handle that._

_"Rachel, it'll be easier this way," Kurt argued. "Rent is hard on us too, and now, instead of three contributing, there will be five."_

_Rachel opened her mouth to argue again, but she took a while trying to formulate an argument. What was she supposed to say? That she had complicated feelings for Finn?_

_"We just met them," Rachel argued. "Santana?"_

_Santana shook her head. "I don't want to be a part of this argument. But if Finn and Puck need a place to stay, then of course we should be the ones to open our doors."_

_"Rachel, they're a part of the band now. Remember, rule number 1, band members look after band members. We're a family now, and if we're truly going to make it, we're going to have to start acting like one," Kurt said. _

_Rachel sat back in her seat, no longer able to argue back._

_"Now, any objections?"_

_No one said a thing._

_"Now, starting tomorrow, Finn and Puck will move in with us."_

_"Any more concerns over the rules? This is the last time that I'm going to open them up for possible amending."_

_Rachel looked at Finn, who was still looking through the rules._

_A huge part of her wanted him to ask about rule 14. Perhaps, if he brought it up, they could just try to amend the rule. Maybe, just maybe, Kurt and Santana would have a change of heart, and allow them to get rid of the rule. If that were the case, well there would be nothing to complicate whatever was going on between her and Finn. They could just let whatever what was going on between them before just… happen. There wouldn't be any rules or consequences, just them. Maybe then they could go back to the way they were the first night they met. Maybe they could still have their something great._

_She waited, almost prayed that he would bring it up._

_She sat up as he looked up from the constitution. Her eyes locked with his, and she hoped that he understood what she was trying to convey to her, like he had before._

_But instead, he looked away._

_"No, I'm good," Finn said. "Where do I sign?"_

* * *

It was almost two when they finally finished the first complete draft of the song.

"This looks good," Rachel yawned, stretching her arms.

"Really good," Finn agreed, before yawning himself.

"Time for bed," she patted his chest before standing up. Walking over to his dresser, she opened the second drawer, the one where he kept his tees. Picking one up, she turned and tossed it to Finn, who caught it with ease.

"Can you get me a pair of boxers too, please?" he asked. Nodding, Rachel picked a tee out for herself before she opened the first drawer to grab a pair of boxers.

"Thanks," Finn said as he walked up to her to pick it up himself.

"I'm going to brush my teeth," she told him.

"I'll be there in a sec," he called back.

Not bothering to lock the door, Rachel took off her pants and shirt the minute she stepped inside the bathroom. Putting on Finn's tee, Rachel instantly relaxed. She loved the way it draped so loosely on her.

Just as she anticipated, Finn soon joined in the bathroom. "Here's your toothbrush," he handed it over to her. She was here so often that she had her own toothbrush in his place. Finn of course, had to hide it in some place other than the bathroom so Puck wouldn't get suspicious. They were rather brilliant like that, and through the months, they've gotten quite good at not being obvious. No one suspected that they here truly close friends. At least, not anymore, and certainly not to her knowledge.

"Do you think Puck will be coming home tonight?" Rachel asked as she brushed her teeth.

"No way," Finn said, taking his toothbrush out of his mouth. "He's only been home once this week," Finn said before he stuck the toothbrush back in his mouth.

"It's getting pretty serious with Quinn, then, isn't it?" Rachel asked.

"I'd never thought I'd see the day," Finn said before he flashed her a foamy smile. Rachel laughed at her friend. What a dork.

"I miss this," Finn said, his voice mumbled due to the toothbrush "Reminds me of the time we were all living together."

"Oh yes," Rachel laughed before she spit the toothpaste out her mouth and into the sink. "The craziest four months of our lives."

Finn too spit in the sink. "Now we're all grown up."

Needing to rinse her mouth, Rachel nudged Finn, who stepped to the side so that she could use the sink.

"I'd say," Rachel said when she finished. Eyeing Finn, who was rinsing his mouth, she pinched his stomach. "And where did this come from?" she teased.

"Hey!" Finn laughed, before splashing her with water.

"Finn!" Rachel shrieked.

"You started it," Finn stuck his tongue out at her.

"Fine, I surrender," she said. "Now, move, I've got to wash my face."

Using the hair tie that was around her arm, Rachel tied up her hair in a messy bun. She reached over the sink and took a nickel-sized amount of Finn's white face wash and handed it over Finn so that he could do the same.

"Rachel, you turned so old, my face turned pale just looking at you," Finn said, pointing to his white covered face.

Rachel rolled her eyes, but still chuckled at him.

After washing her face and finishing up, Rachel officially decided that she could not let Finn have the last round for the night.

Stretching a bit, she slid her hands under her shirt and unhooked her bra strap.

"What are you doing?" Finn nearly shrieked as she began to remove her bra. Was it bad that she loved that she had such an affect on him?

"I'm taking off my bra," she said simply. It was a skill of women to remove her bra without taking off her shirt. It was a skill she was proud of, especially now. She slowly took it off with ease.

"Oh, someone plays dirty," Finn said, trying hard to look away, but failing miserably.

"What?" Rachel said. "You know I don't like sleeping with a bra," she teased, and with her bra hanging from her fingertips, she walked away from the bathroom. "And besides she stopped and turned back, "it was wet." Smirking, she turned away and walked about to Finn's room.

"It doesn't make a difference you know," Finn called behind her. "The shirt that you're wearing is still wet!" And with that, he shut the door.

Ah how Rachel loved bickering with Finn.

Waiting for Finn to return, Rachel lifted the bedcovers and welcomed herself onto the bed. Sitting up on the bed, her back against a pillow she took Finn's phone and unlocked it, her fingers naturally knowing the password combination.

Opening his pictures album, Rachel smiled at the most recent one. It was a picture of her "sleeping" on the bed, over the sheets. Hours ago, Finn had sent Kurt a picture of her supposedly sleeping followed by a text rant about the assignment Kurt had given them. Rachel laughed as she recalled how precise Finn was in directing her exact position and expression for the photo. Intended to make sure that Kurt didn't worry about Rachel not going home for the night, the picture and text was also a way to make sure that Kurt wouldn't suspect anything else that was going on between them. It was their little façade.

Flipping through the other photos in his phone, Rachel's heart melted as she saw the amount of pictures of her. Nearly all of his pictures were of her, half of which included him. The ones that weren't were pictures of the band.

Turning on the camera, Rachel made a silly face as she snapped a photo of herself. Hearing Finn's footsteps, Rachel quickly put Finn's phone back on his bedside table.

"That took you a while," Rachel joked.

"Very funny," Finn said as he began to join her in bed.

Rachel sank down onto the bed and turned to face Finn, who was already looking at her.

She loved looking at his eyes. They were so pure and warm. So trustworthy. She felt safe in his eyes.

"Comfy?" Finn said after a bit.

"Oh yes, I sure am. Man how I love these pillows," Rachel said, rubbing her face against her pillow. "They smell so much like you. And they're so fluffy."

"I know how you love your fluff," Finn smiled.

"I do, don't I?" Rachel stretched.

"You're like the Queen of Fluff."

"Thank you," Rachel said. "That's why you've gained a bit of weight, huh? It's because you know I like fluffy things."

"Hey!" Finn pouted.

"It's okay. You'll always be my Buddy no matter how fluffy you get," Rachel smiled, moving quickly to place a quick peck on his cheek.

"Good night," she said before turning over to the other side.

"Good night," Finn said, leaning up to kiss the top of her head before lying back down.

This journey that they've been on in the past year, full of numbers and songs and rules, was truly something else. The something great she had thought of a year ago was coming. Rachel of was sure of it. Of course, it would be nothing like the something great she had envisioned long ago. But Rachel was okay with that. More than okay. Change was good. Change was necessary.

But there was at least one thing hasn't change from a year ago. Finn and her weren't dating, that much was still the same. And yet, their relationship was still, very much complicated.

* * *

**A/N: Still more to come! Thank you all for sticking around.**


	3. The Observer

**A/N: I don't own anything, including the indirect references mentioned in this chapter.**

* * *

"Rachel, could I talk to you for a second?" Kurt whispered in Rachel's ear the moment the band meeting was over.

The band was currently in the process of recording their second album, but unlike their "first" album (which was really just a compilation of five cover songs and one original song tossed together by some sketchy guy they met at the bar), this album would be the first produced by an actual, legit recording studio. For them, this phase either meant long, long hours in the recording studio, or long, long hours meeting with their producers.

But it was beyond worth it.

Rachel and Finn and just finished presenting their original song to both the band and the studio, and the band had agreed to include the song as a last minute addition to the album.

"Sure," Rachel said to Kurt in reply, and she followed him to an isolated area to the side.

"I've got it hand it to you, you and Finn actually did a really good job writing the song," Kurt praised her.

"Thank you, it wasn't easy, but Finn and I decided to put our differences aside for the sake of the band," Rachel said, somewhat honest. Everything they did was for the sake of the band.

"I know, and I'm so proud of you," Kurt said, putting his hand on her shoulder, making Rachel smile. "And your accomplishment has only reaffirmed my decision," Kurt continued.

Rachel tiled her head, confused. "What decision?"

"As you know, in a couple of days, my current term as band leader will be coming to an end."

"Yes," Rachel said, unsure where he was headed. "Band rule number 3, every year, a band leader must be elected._"_

"Right, and I've been thinking, as much as I have loved being the band leader, I think I want to pass the torch on to someone else, someone who I know will take the band to new heights. And that someone is you, Rachel. A couple of days from now, when it's time to elect a band leader, I'm going to nominate you."

"Me?" Rachel said in disbelief. "But you're the band leader. You've always been the band leader."

"I have my reasons. First of all, we're going to be launching our album soon, and since you are lead singer, I want you to be the main face of this band. So you'll be the one talking at all the events, working with the professionals, etc. It'll be easier this way. Second of all, and most importantly... you, Rachel, have dedicated your life to this band. You've stayed loyal to it, and to us, since the day I recruited you back in college. You abided, and enforced, all the rules. You contribute more than what I can possibly ask for. I trust you, Rachel. I trust that you can put the needs of the band first, just like what you've been doing from the start."

"I don't know, Kurt. You've been band leader from the start," Rachel offered, hesitant to ponder about the responsibilities and powers of being the band leader. If she was band leader, then she would have the power to amend the rules… and… and…. No. Rachel wouldn't let her mind get that far. Not everything was black and white. There was no straightforward, easy vision where everything somehow managed to work itself out. Sometimes, you have to give and take.

"Rachel, I've made up my mind. I want you to be band leader," Kurt said.

Rachel furrowed her brow, still not accepting Kurt's confession. "But, Kurt, rule number 2, all band decisions must be made unanimously, surely someone else will be nominated, and besides, there's no way Finn would vote for me."

"That's another thing I wanted to talk to you about," Kurt pursed his lips. "I need you to get close to Finn."

"What?" Rachel was shocked.

"You need to win his vote, and more than that, you need to dispel the tension that's going on between you two."

"Tension?" Rachel asked, hoping Kurt hadn't been noticing any romantic tensions between them.

"Come on - your constant bickering, picking fights - that type of energy isn't good for the band. We need you two working together if this band is going really to take off. Just look at your song, see what happens when you two work together? It's something… special. And we need that."

"Kurt…" Rachel began, her heart beating faster at just the thought of Finn.

"I don't understand how you and Finn got in this weird place with one another in the first place. Back when we were all living together, you two seemed so close."

"Things change Kurt," Rachel said, giving him the standard response to his statement, a response she had said so many times whenever someone brought up that time in their lives.

"And things can change again. Win Finn's vote, Rachel, and then make amends with him. Do it for the band," Kurt finished, and with that, he walked away.

Rachel ran her hand through her hair, not quite sure what to do. She needed some time to think.

* * *

_Living with five people was certainly quite the adventure._

_For starters, the bathroom was always occupied. This of course, was expected. However, since they were all a part of the same band, they all had the exact same schedules. Rachel found herself waking up one morning an hour early to call dibs on the shower, only to run into Finn, who had the same idea._

_Things between them were awkward, to say the least. Beyond polite gestures and phrases, the two of them have yet to have an actual conversation, much less about what happened before he joined the band._

_Rachel supposed it was better this way. After all, she was the one who suggested that they just forget about what happened the first night they met. And yet, it seemed like nothing could stop her growing affections for him._

_Everything he did just made her more attracted to him. Living with him, Rachel truly got to see his different mannerisms and attitudes in action. It was beyond hard, to grow fonder of someone whom you knew you couldn't possibly be with. These growing feelings only made Rachel want to keep her distance from Finn before she acted on them._

_And, standing in just her robe right there and then, looking at Finn wearing a simple tee and boxers, a towel hanging over his shoulder, Rachel couldn't help but to acknowledge that this was their first time alone since she broke the news to him back at the coffee shop not too long ago. _

_Knowing that this was bound to happen sooner or later, especially because they now were practically roommates, Rachel brushed aside her nerves. Or at least, she tried to. Because when she opened her mouth, not a word came out._

"_Looks like we both had the same idea," Finn said first, while her mouth was still open._

_Now that Finn somewhat broke the barrier, Rachel immediately closed her mouth and smiled politely. "Good, so you're here to steal all the hot water too?" she joked, noticing right away how easy it was to talk to him in reality. Now that she was here, now that they were making some sort of small talk, Rachel realized that it might be actually harder for her to not talk to him. There was just something about Finn that made it natural to converse with him._

"_Yup," Finn joked along. "And I even had a set list ready of all the songs I planned to sing in there while I use every last drop of the hot water too."_

_Rachel laughed. "Well, since I am eager to hear that set list of yours, I'll let you go first," Rachel stepped aside so that Finn could shower first._

_Finn didn't move. "I was being serious," he said. "I do have a set list, and I won't go out until I sing every last song."_

"_And so was I," Rachel said back. "I want to hear how you sing in the shower so that I can properly judge you."_

"_Suit yourself," Finn shrugged as he walked inside. "But don't say I didn't warn you." Watching as Finn closed and locked the door, Rachel went to sit a couch that was not too far away and she grabbed a magazine sitting on the coffee table._

_Soon enough, she heard Finn sing. She had heard him sing before, as backup, but now, hearing him sing raw, with only the sound of the shower to accentuate his voice, Rachel realized that he was actually a really good singer. She had heard many good singers before, and while Finn may not be as good vocally, he certainly was amazing musically. He had certain sound, one that was uniquely him. She decided that she quite frankly loved the way he sounded when he sang._

_What also stroke Rachel was his choice in music. His shower set list consisted of Journey, U2… artists she never quite appreciated, being a Broadway fanatic herself. However, hearing Finn's rendition made her reconsider her selections. Perhaps variety was good._

_Several songs passed, and by then, Rachel had already finished flipping through the magazine. Finn wasn't kidding. He did take a long time in the shower. In that sense, Finn may have rivaled Kurt. Rachel oddly found that quite endearing. _

_However, Rachel, really, really, really needed to use the bathroom._

_It had come to a point where it hurt to breathe because she so desperately need to go._

_Rachel really only had five options._

_She could wait for Finn to finish, whenever that was, and risk having health problems because of it._

_She could tell Finn to hurry up, that is if he could hear her over the sound of his own voice. Rachel knew from her own experience that he probably would not hear her._

_She could use the bathroom at a neighbor's house, although her neighbors were really creepy, and since she was only in her robe, Rachel crossed that option out immediately._

_She could try to find another place in the house to go, although that didn't seem too sanitary._

_Finally, she could unlock the bathroom door, using a little trick that Santana taught her, use the bathroom, and then leave before Finn even noticed she was there._

_Deciding that the last option was her best bet, Rachel took a bobby pin from her hair and ran to the bathroom door. Shoving the pin into the lock, she quickly moved it around like Santana had taught her, and alas, the door opened._

_She quickly tipped toed to the toilet, and lifting her robe up like a dress, she sat down and relieved herself._

_However, as soon as she was done, Finn's singing came to a halt, and the shower turned off. Realizing what was about to happen, Rachel quickly cleaned up, stood back up and fixed her robe, her eyes watching as Finn's hand grabbed his towel on the rack._

_Milliseconds from dashing to the door, Rachel froze as she heard the shower curtain open. _

"_Rachel?" she heard Finn say in shock._

_Turning around, her face bright red, Rachel waved at Finn. "Hi," she said lamely. Immediately, her eyes found themselves on Finn's body. She couldn't stop herself from running her gaze up and down his body, from his wet face, to his naked chest, over the towel that covered him well, and down to his long, toned legs. And as much as her mind screamed to look away, Rachel couldn't bring herself to do it. How could a man be so naturally attractive?_

"_Um… did you need something?" he asked, snapping her back into reality._

"_Uh yes," she finally looked away. "You took too long, and I needed to pee."_

_Out of the corner of her eyes (okay, so maybe she didn't look away completely,) Rachel saw Finn smirk. "I warned you!" he said._

"_Hey," Rachel turned to look at him, her pride not really caring at that moment that he was just in a towel. "I didn't think you would take that long."_

"_Doesn't matter," Finn stepped out of the shower and up toward her. Rachel inhaled sharply, feeling the heat from his body radiating off him. He then came close to her face, causing a few drops of water to fall off of him and onto her. "Unless, you wanted to hear me sing up close?" he said in a husky tone._

_Rachel didn't move. Instead she looked him straight in the eyes, her confidence on the same level as his._

"_I'll admit it, I did enjoy listening to you sing. But, besides the fact that my bladder was going to explode, I wanted to step in and let you listen to my shower set list."_

_Just as she was about to go turn on the shower again, she was interrupted. _

"_Oh hello," they heard a voice in the background. Both of them snapped heads to the door, only to see Santana looking at the two of them._

"_What's going on in here?" Santana said, intrigued. _

_Deciding not to tell Santana that she had used the technique she had taught her to unlock the door while Finn was showering, Rachel just shrugged._

"_Nothing really," she answered. "Finn just finished showering, and now it's my turn."_

"_Pretty much," Finn said and walked out of the bathroom. "By the way Rachel," he turned back to Rachel and Santana, "you might want to let Santana use the bathroom real quickly first. Wouldn't want her to come in on you while you're in there."_

"_Oh please," Santana answered. "I've been living with Rachel for years now. I can enter while she's in there whenever I want."_

_Rachel nodded. "It's part of being roommates, Finn."_

* * *

It was raining.

It had been a few hours since Kurt had told her the news that he was going to nominate her for band leader, and since then, Rachel had taken the time to think about what the position would entail. Rachel had come to many different conclusions, but one thing was certain: she had to discuss it with Finn.

As if the universe agreed with her, Rachel smiled when she heard the rain. She had to meet with Finn at their coffee place.

After fixing herself a bit, Rachel left her room and went over to the coat rack and began to put on her coat.

"Where are you going?" Rachel heard a voice. Turning to Santana, she continued to put on her coat.

"Just out to grab something small to eat," Rachel said, using the same statement she normally said to either Kurt or Santana whenever it rained, but only if they asked. Most of the time, they didn't care.

"Why?" Santana asked. It looked like today was of the exceptions.

"Because I'm bored and I want to go out," Rachel said, another standard answer she had prepared for this exact scenario.

"Where exactly are you going?"

"Santana, I don't need to tell you where I am every second of everyday. I'm an adult, I can do whatever I want."

"Whoa, whoa, no need to get all defensive," Santana threw her hands up in a gesture of surrender. "I just thought that hey, since we're friends and all, I might want to know more about you and your life. But hey, I guess it's all good. It's not like you would care enough to do the same for me."

"Santana…" Rachel began.

"No, no… no need for any excuses. I just thought that it's been awhile since we've talked about something that wasn't band related. But I understand that you don't want to include me in this private life of yours and all…" Santana said. Rachel sighed. Santana knew exactly what to say.

"Santana, stop. I'm going to a coffee shop," Rachel confessed, hoping Santana would stop prying.

"But it's like 8 in the evening," Santana immediately said.

"So?"

"If you want coffee, then you'll be up all night."

"There's nothing wrong with that. Besides, we're not meeting until noon tomorrow."

"True. I'll come with you."

"Why?" Rachel panicked. Never had any of their friends wanted to come along whenever she went to get coffee with Finn. Questions, they could handle. But having one of their friends tag along? That was a first.

"Because I miss spending time outside the band with you, of course. Why? Is there a reason why you don't want me to come?"

Yes. Obviously, if Santana came and saw Finn, she would get suspicious, just as she had before. Not that Santana had any reason to be worried, of course. But the last thing Rachel wanted was for Santana to spend her time and energy wondering what was going on between her and Finn.

"Of course not," Rachel lied. "It'll be good to have some company."

"Great," Santana stood up and went to grab her coat as well.

Rachel had to tell Finn that Santana was coming, just to prepare him. "I'm uh, going to get to some more cash in my room. I'll be right back."

Quickly, she walked into her room and pulled out her cell phone. Deciding not to risk the chance of Santana listening, Rachel texted Finn to alert him that Santana was coming. Hoping he would see her text before they arrived, Rachel stood up to indeed get more cash from her drawers.

When she came back out, Rachel saw that Santana was all ready to go.

"Should I go get a cab?" Santana asked.

"Nah," Rachel said. "You know how hard it is to catch a cab on rainy days. Besides, the coffee place I planned on going to isn't too far away. We can just walk."

"Fine. But if we get sick tomorrow, it's all your fault." Opening her umbrella and holding it up so that it covered the two of them, Rachel linked her other arm around Santana, and the two of them began to walk.

"Please, I do this all the time, and I've never gotten sick," Rachel blurted out.

"You always walk in the rain?" Santana asked curiously.

"Uh, yes. Because of the whole taxi thing," Rachel answered carefully, hoping Santana wouldn't begin to question why she was always out in the rain in the first place. Thankfully, Rachel's phone beeped, indicating she had a text. Quickly reading it out of Santana's line of view, Rachel was relieved to know that Finn was prepared to see Santana.

"Who's that?" Santana asked, as Rachel expected she would.

"Finn. I invited him by the way."

"Why?" Santana said, her tone sounding overly surprised. Rachel decided not to read into her tone too much.

"Kurt told me to be nicer to him. I figured this would be a good place to start, especially since you're here. That way I wouldn't have to spend time with him alone."

"But now 's going to cockblock our night out," Santana said.

"Ha ha," Rachel joked. "So, since he is going to be there, why don't you tell me whatever it was that you wanted to tell me now."

"Ah, you know me so well," Santana said. It was true. Rachel could tell that Santana had something to tell her, which was why Santana asked to come along in the first place.

"I'm seeing someone," Santana revealed.

Rachel stopped the two of them in the middle of the sidewalk. Smiling happily at the news, Rachel quickly pulled her friend in for a hug. "Santana!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah, yeah," Santana pushed her off slightly, still she linked her arm around Rachel's and the two of the continued to walk.

"Tell me more!" Rachel said. "Who is the special person? How did you meet her? It is a her, right?"

"Of course it's a her, and I met her a bar a few weeks ago. And I know what you might be thinking, but it's different with her. I can't place my finger on it, but I can just tell, you know?"

Rachel did know exactly what Santana meant. "I'm so happy for you, Santana."

"Thanks Rachel. You're the first person I told about her, and I kind of want to keep our relationship a secret."

Rachel was touched that Santana trusted enough to tell her first. "Of course. I mean, after everything that happened between you and Dani, I'm glad that you were able to put yourself back out there."

"You'd tell me right?" Santana spoke suddenly. "You'd tell me if you were in a relationship, right?"

Rachel stared at her, wondering if there was any hidden agenda behind Santana's words. Telling herself that she was just being paranoid, Rachel brushed that thought out of her head.

"Of course I'd tell you," Rachel said.

"Well, you'd have to actually find someone first," Santana laughed.

Rachel didn't say anything. Instead her mind went to Finn. She had found him long ago. But sometimes, the difficulties aren't just in finding the right person. No. There were other things to consider. It wasn't as simple as everyone said it was. Right?

"I don't have the time to find someone," Rachel said. "I'm too busy worrying the band and-"

"I'm sorry, but that's a pathetic excuse," Santana cut her off. "Don't give me that look. Rachel, you can't always keep sacrificing your happiness for the sake of the band."

"But I am happy," Rachel said. She was. She really was. She liked where she was with Finn. She liked being his Buddy.

"You're settling for whatever happiness that you have now. But Rachel, can you imagine what it would be like if you opened up, and put your needs and wants first?"

What did she want exactly? Rachel she didn't quite know. She wanted the band to be successful, first and foremost. But she also, really wanted to act on her all feelings that she had for Finn. Rachel never imagined that she could have both.

"That'd be selfish," Rachel answered. It would be...

"Would it though? If you were happy, wouldn't that happiness reflect onto the band?"

Rachel couldn't answer back. Would it be selfish for her to start seeing Finn in a different way, beyond the level of friendship?

"Look, band no band, my friendship with you comes before anything else. All I want is for you to be the happiest you can possibly be," Santana said.

"Thank you Santana. You're friendship really means a lot to me."

"Yeah, don't get used to it," Santana scrunched her nose at her, making Rachel laugh.

"Oh look, we're here!" Rachel exclaimed, pointing to the coffee shop. Taking her arm out of Santana's arm, Rachel moved to look through her purse, pulling out two sunglasses. "Here," she held one out in her hand and offered it to Santana.

"What the heck are these for?" Santana frowned.

"They're disguises, just in case someone sees us," Rachel insisted.

"Rachel, we've may have had a couple of popular gigs, but no one is going to recognize us. At least not yet. After our album becomes a hit, then I'll be the first one to wear that excuse of a disguise you call there. But until then, there's no way I'm wearing shades inside a coffee shop while it's raining." Santana turned and walked away from Rachel, and headed to the coffee shop herself.

"Wait," Rachel said, putting the shades back in her bag. She quickly ran to catch up with Santana just as she opened the door.

"Oh look," Santana said as they walked in. "The giant is already here."

Sure enough, Finn was already sitting at a table. When he saw them, he immediately stood up. Santana wasted no time and headed over to him, with Rachel following cautiously behind her.

"Good to see you again Santana," Finn said politely, moving to give her a hug.

"Yeah, because you didn't just see me earlier today," Santana said sarcastically. "And why in the world are you wearing a hood?"

"For a disguise, someone might recognize us," Finn said. About a couple of months before, Finn and Rachel decided to start wearing subtle "disguises" to prevent others from recognizing the two of them in public.

"Oh great, you're just like Rachel," Santana shook her head, still she gladly accepted Finn's hug. They had a rather odd dynamic, Santana and Finn, but Rachel could tell that Santana truly did like him.

"Rachel," Finn nodded to her, acknowledging her presence.

"Finn," Rachel did the same before taking a seat.

"Well, now isn't this off to a great start?" Santana said, taking the seat diagonal from Rachel, leaving Finn with no other choice but to sit right next to or directly across from Rachel. Not wanting to move to the other side of the table, Finn took the seat directly across from Rachel, his eyes not meeting hers.

"So are we going to order something, or are we just going to stare at our fingers?" Santana asked.

"Sure, I'll buy. My treat," Rachel stood up. "What do you guys want?"

"No, I'll buy," Finn stood up.

"No, no Finn, Rachel's treating us today," Santana winked at Finn. "We're her dates."

"What?" Finn and Rachel said at the same time, looking at each other in the eyes for the first time that night.

"Jeez, can't you guys take a joke?" Santana joked.

"Yeah," Finn laughed rather nervously. "Besides, we all know that band members can't date, remember?"

"I'm sorry, Santana," Rachel added. "I know how much you want to date me, those are the rules. Rule number 14 to be exact."

"That's a stupid rule," Santana said.

"What are you talking about?" Rachel said, desperately wanting to hear more. "You and Kurt were the ones that wrote it."

"Yeah, but I was stupid back then. I was heartbroken and drunk when I wrote it, and you know nothing sensible comes out of those two combinations."

Finn and Rachel said nothing; still they both knew what the other was thinking.

If Santana didn't like the rules, would she be okay with them possibly being more than friends? And if they could win over Santana, could they win over Puck and Kurt too?"

"Hello," Santana said again. "Are we going to order?"

"Yes," Rachel said as Finn sat back down. "What do you want?"

"Just a cup of coffee," Santana said.

"Same," Finn said.

"Got it," Rachel left to go order. It wasn't long before she came back.

She didn't know exactly what to say to Finn now that Santana was now there to observe their every move.

"Our song turned out nice," Finn finally said to her.

"Oh yes," Rachel said awkwardly. "The revisions were good, and I think we're recording it tomorrow."

"Can we not talk about the band, please?" Santana begged. "I don't want to hear this exact conversation again tomorrow."

"Well, what else are we going to talk about?" Rachel asked. She didn't know.

"Easy," Santana smiled mischievously. "Let's talk about other people. People in here to be exact."

"But we don't know anyone here," Finn remarked.

"I know, and that's what's going to make it fun. We pick any random group of people and make up stories about them based off our impressions of them. Here, we'll start with something easy. Look at that group over there," Santana said.

"There's five of them," Finn said.

"Thank you Mr. Obvious, anything else? Come on, be creative, use your eyes! Look at people's body language," Santana urged them. "It'll tell you so much."

"Well, they looked like they would rather be in a bar right now," Finn supplied.

"Great! Go on," Santana encouraged them.

"The tall one and the one with the reddish-brown hair are married," Rachel added. "Oh, they seem like such a sweet couple."

"They probably been together for a long time, since college maybe," Finn replied.

"The guy seems like he would have a pretty impressive job. I'm thinking, maybe a doctor?" Rachel said.

"No," Finn shook his head. "He seems like a lawyer."

"Ah!" Rachel clapped her hands. "That's it. What do you think, Santana?"

"I'm looking at the guy in the suit," Santana said.

"Yeah, he seems very egotistical," Rachel studied him.

"A playboy," Santana said. "With a high-paying yet sketchy job that would require him to just pretty much sign everything."

"He totally likes that other girl," Finn finally said about the man in the suit.

"Yeah he does," Rachel said. "Although, the guy with the messy hair looks like he likes her too."

"Oooo, all little tension in the group," Santana said.

"Yeah, the guy with the messy hair does seem like he likes her, but I think the story goes a little bit beyond that. I think he's just waiting for the right person… the love of his life… and I think he's just tired of waiting for her."

"Yeah. That's true. But can you imagine what it would be like for him to finally find her? It'll be the most epic story ever," Rachel smiled at Finn.

"Okay, well that turned boring quickly," Santana pretended to yawn. "Moving on… oh! How about that awkward couple over there."

"They're definitely both weird geniuses," Finn said, looking at the couple.

"He seems rather childlike, you know, the type of boy that likes comic books and even trains," Rachel described.

"But she loves that about him," Finn replied.

"Yeah, she does," Rachel agreed. "But she's also kind of really weird."

"They probably make weird factual videos together. Like videos about the world and flags and stuff."

"Do you think they're doing it?" Santana said bluntly.

"Santana!"

"What? It's an honest question."

"No," Finn said. "I don't think they are. But they don't really need to. They're just at the right level for what they're ready for."

"But she wants to," Rachel said.

"Oh yes," Finn agreed. "Maybe someday."

"I've got an idea," Santana said suddenly. "What do you think other people would say about us? What would their impressions of us be?"

"That we're a group of friends hanging out," Rachel replied.

"No, no. Don't play it safe. Come on. What would strangers talk about when they see us?"

"We're all very close," Finn said.

"We all probably have some history together."

"Yes, go on," Santana encouraged them. "Have some fun with it."

"Well why don't you say something then?" Finn replied.

"Fine," Santana pointed to Finn, "you want to have a threesome with us."

Rachel nearly choked.

"WHAT?"

"I'm just saying people would think that."

"Santana, people can hang out without it being dirty."

"People have dirty minds," Santana shrugged.

"No, they probably wouldn't go that far. They'd probably only try to guess which one of you I was into more," Finn said.

"And who would they choose?" Santana asked.

"Well Rachel of course," Finn said quickly. "Only because you're a lesbian, Santana," Finn added quickly.

"Okay," Santana nodded "I guess they could magically tell that I like girls, and there would be no other reason whatsoever."

It was only then that Rachel realized that her leg somehow managed to get intertwined with Finn's. Quickly, she removed it, hoping that Santana didn't notice it.

Although, something told her that Santana noticed so much more.

* * *

**AN: Still more to come, thank you so much for reading. By the way, did anyone catch those character references? :) **


	4. Daylight

**A/N: Because you can't truly move on until all doors and windows are closed.**

**Remember that the italics are flashbacks. **

* * *

_"Hey uh, Rachel?"_

_"Hmm?" Rachel answered, watching the credits float up and disappear on the screen. _

"_Can you tell me about the history of the band?" Finn asked._

_It's been a couple of days after the bathroom incident, and s__ince then, things have been so much more comfortable between them, to say the least. _

_Perhaps it's the fact that they have gotten past the shock of having to live together, or maybe seeing Finn Hudson in just a towel was the solution to everything - but t__hings weren't awkward between them anymore. _

_And from Rachel could tell, they were really friends now. For that, she was glad. In fact, the two of them had just finished watching Grease in their living room while the rest of the band - who couldn't care less about watching such an iconic movie yet again - went out to hang out with other friends._

"_Sure, I can." she teased, turning off the television now that their movie was over. "And for you, I will. What do you want to know?"_

_Finn playfully scratched his head. _"_Well, e__verything," he smiled. _

_They were on the couch, sitting with their legs crossed, their bodies not quite touching - such appropriate, friendly positions for the situation, Rachel noted._

_Still, she could feel him - the mere presence of him less than an inch away, and the thought alone still made her shiver. Even though they were just friends - great friends - Finn Hudson still had such a profound effect on her. And deep down, Rachel knew that was a problem. She needed to find a solution - but for now, there were no rules against whatever they were doing now, that much was true._

"_Okay," Rachel said, she looked down, playing with her fingernails, trying to decide where to start. "Let's see, I knew Kurt in high school and we went NYADA together for college. Santana also went to our high school, but we weren't really close there. In fact, I could have sworn she hated me."_

"_That's strange, how did you end up living together?" Finn asked. He placed his elbow on his thigh, leaning down to rest his chin on the palm of his hand, enough so that he could look at her while they talked._

"_Well, one day, she just knocked on our door, and we took her in."_

"_That easy?" _

"_Sort of. To be fair, she proved that she could a good roommate. And a best friend," Rachel smiled, thinking fondly of how far their friendship had gone._

"_That's why she wasn't against me and Puck moving in," Finn responded and Rachel nodded in agreement._

"_Anyway," Rachel continued. "Not long after that, Kurt decided that he wanted to do something more exciting than what we were doing at NYADA. Freshmen typically didn't get a lot of action. So he started a band. I didn't want to join at first, so Santana was his first member."_

_Finn furrowed his brow. _"_Why didn't you want to join?"_

_Rachel shrugged. _"_I just... I don't know, I just didn't think it was for me then."_

"_And then what happened?"_

"_Santana was dating Dani at the time, and so she joined too. Kurt held auditions, and that's when he found Starchild."_

"_Starchild?" _

"_Oh yes, his real name was Elliot, and he joined too. And so, when they were deciding on a band name, I suggested Pamela Lansbury as a joke, and it just stuck. I sang a song with them, loved the thrill of it all, and joined without ever looking back."_

_And she hasn't. The band was her ticket to stardom, she just knew it._

"_What was it like?" Finn asked. "Pamela Lansbury, I mean. How was it."_

_Rachel paused and reflected on those days - reminiscing through moments of diva tantrums and Madonna - a lot of Madonna._

_It was hard to imagine that Pamela Lansbury was the predecessor to their band right now. The two bands were almost night and day - complete opposites._

"_We were good," she answered. "We were. We mainly sang cover songs. We had a few gigs at school and at a couple of bars, but we didn't get too far out into the city. You know, I just assumed that we were too young and that these things took time."_

"_And now?"_

_Rachel smiled. _"_Looking back now, I think we were all too similar. We played it safe with classics."_

"_But Rach...__What happened? Why did Dani and Elliot leave?"_

_Ah, now that was the million dollar question. _

_Rachel sighed. _"_Well, __Dani broke up with Santana and left the band. Oh man did that hurt Santana..." Rachel stopped, her mind deep in thought. "The thing is, I don't think Santana actually was truly in love with Dani though. I just think that Santana held on because she was her first love as an adult. You know how it is, right after high school, you want to prove to the world that you handle anything, even relationships. So I think that Santana saw it more as a failure, and that why it was so painful."_

"_And Elliot?"_

_Rachel rolled her eyes. _"_Kurt had a crush on Elliot for a long time, ever since he joined, actually. And Elliot never returned those feelings. On top of that, he had lot of other things going on and Elliot ended up leaving to go on a yoga retreat and he never came back."_

"_And Kurt then was crushed too," Finn deduced. _

"_Oh god, y__ou should have seen them," Rachel shook her head. "That was their rock bottom. Not only were they hurting like hell, but now the band, our little getaway - our safe place - was broken because of it."_

_Rachel hated those days the most. While Rachel was not involved in any of their 'breakups' at all, she was deeply affected by its aftermath. For weeks their band was in shambles and a huge part of her felt like she was in a slump._

_Until she met Finn one rainy day in a cafe..._

"_So that's why they made rule number #14," Finn said after a period of silence._

_Rachel snapped out of that memory. Yes, she could not forget that it was in fact the addition of Puck and Finn to their band that had really set things in motion._

"_Exactly__. Band members are not allowed to date other band members. We weren't going through that again. And beyond that, we don't want anyone to pick sides. I grew close to Dani and Elliot too, but of course I picked Santana and Kurt. It's to save the band from any unnecessary drama and from cutting ties. The band is our safe place - a place for dreams to come true - and this time, it's going to stay that way."_

_It was silent yet again before Finn spoke. "I- I guess... I understand, and I'm sorry."_

"_Sorry? Why are you sorry?" Rachel stared at his face, analyzing every detail as best she could to see where he was going in this conversation._

_Finn sighed. _"_I'm sorry for snapping at you that day at the coffee shop, when you first told me about the rule. I'm sorry for not giving you a chance to say your side of the story," Finn said softly and sincerely._

_Rachel sighed. _"_It's okay, I'm sorry too." She was. She stood by her choice, but she's sorry that Finn was hurt because it._

"_Don't be. You did the right thing. I'm glad you told me privately. The band… Kurt, Santana, and Puck… they should come first, always," Finn said, placing his hand on top of both of hers on top of her lap._

_Rachel nodded. She was glad Finn understood where she was coming from. She was glad they were on the same page. They could not date._

"_But..." Finn began slowly, almost cautiously. "Just because these a rule against us dating, there's nothing that says that we can't hang out together. I really like spending time with you, Rachel, and as long as we're clear on the rules, I don't see why there would be anything wrong with that," Finn smiled at her._

_Rachel smiled back. Finn was right. They could spend time with one another, as long as they didn't date. She would like that, a lot. _

_But she knew that it wouldn't stop the feelings she had for him from growing. _

_She would just have to be strong, Rachel decided, and remember that Finn was her friend, just her friend._

_So she scooted closer toward him on the couch so that there was no doubt that their bodies were pressed together, and rested her head on his chest. Friends did that, right?_

_"Sure, I'd love to hang out. And look at that - I'm free right now," Rachel looked down at her wrist, as if there was a watch there. "Got any ideas?"_

_"Hmm..." Finn moved his hand to pinch his chin in thought. "Well it's raining right now."_

_Rachel looked outside the window. Indeed it was - the first rainy day since they had met. _

_"And I'll be honest - a cup of coffee sounds pretty good."_

_Rachel stood up and held her hand out for Finn to take. "Well Finn Hudson, I'd be honored to hang out and a have coffee chat with you on this beautiful, rainy day._

_Finn took her hand and she pulled him up. "Can't wait."_

_(It doesn't even cross her mind to let go of his hand after that.)_

* * *

"Well, it was nice hanging out with you two, but I'm afraid I have to go," Santana said, putting down her phone.

"So soon?" Rachel asked, calmly, although she wouldn't mind her gone.

"Afraid so," Santana shrugged. "I mean, it is nearly midnight, good lord, who spends that long in a coffee shop? Good thing it's open 24 hours a day. Besides, I need to go see someone," Santana whispered the last part to Rachel. "Good bye, see you both tomorrow."

Taking one last sip of her coffee, Santana put her bag on her shoulder, stood up, and walked away.

Finn and Rachel waited until she left the building completely before they relaxed.

"That was intense, but fun," Finn said.

"I'm sorry, she practically invited herself. Thank you coming anyway though," she smiled at him.

"Of course, Santana or no Santana, I'm not going to break tradition," Finn looked into her eyes, as if not going wasn't even an option.

She stared into his eyes longer than she should.

Snapping out of her Finn Hudson trance, Rachel looked away and started tracing stars on the table. "Still. Thank you," Rachel said.

Finn placed his hand on top of hers to stop her, stroking the back of her hand before he grabbed her hand and arranged it so they could start a playful game of thumb war.

Suddenly, it dawned on Rachel that she would have the apartment to herself for the night. Santana was surely out of the night, and Kurt, while he didn't quite say where he was going, told her that he wouldn't be back until the morning. Which meant…

"Finn, do you think you can come back with me to my place? Kurt and Santana are both going to be out until tomorrow. I really, really need to talk to you," she said, intertwining her hand with his. In Santana's disturbance, Rachel had almost forgotten that she needed to speak with Finn about the possibility of her becoming the band leader.

Plus, it would be nice for Finn to come over for a change – they mostly hung out at his place since Puck was rarely there. Spending time at her apartment reminded her of the time when Finn used to live with them, and boy did she love those memories too.

Finn smiled at her. "Of course I'll come over."

It was still raining when they left. Finn, being the taller one, opened the umbrella for the both of them and wrapped an arm around her waist. "Stay close," he said, "I don't want you to get wet."

Walking slowly back to her place, Rachel was silent. She had so much on her mind… the implications of hers and Finn's relationship… Santana's words to her earlier… being band leader… she wasn't quite sure how to organize them rationally. She was hoping Finn would help her once they got back.

It didn't help that it was windy. Even Finn, as strong as he was, struggled to maintain control of the umbrella.

"What do you say, Finn?" Rachel pressed herself to his chest, looking up to stare at him face-to-face. "Wanna just run for it?"

"You mean forget the umbrella and just run in the rain?" Finn smiled at her.

"Yeah," Rachel smiled back.

"Let's do it," Finn said. Finn closed the umbrella, two of the fumbling a bit due to the wind. The rain hit them instantly.

"Shall we?" he asked.

"Let's go!" Rachel exclaimed, grabbing his hand before they took off running. That is, if walking at a rather fast pace was considered running.

The two of them were soaked by the time they reached her apartment.

"So," Finn began closing the door. Rachel fought back a laugh as she watched Finn shake his head a little to get the rain off his hair.

"Why'd you shake it off? The rain looks good on you," Rachel teased, giggling as Finn pulled her in for a tight hug, soaking her even more.

"Come, let's get out of these wet clothes," she pulled away. She took his hand and led him toward her bedroom.

"Wait," Finn stopped as they entered into her room, closing the door due to habit. "What was it that you wanted to tell me?"

"You want me to tell you now?" Rachel raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah," Finn shrugged, his smile never wavering. "Why wait?"

"Um, because we're wet? And we don't want to get sick. And possibly ruin our vocal chords," Rachel gestured to her throat.

"But, we look good," Finn wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her closer to him once more. "Now tell me what's on your mind," he said, his hands still on her.

"Well, you know how Kurt spoke to me earlier," Rachel gave in, placing her hands on Finn's shoulders.

"Yeah, I saw that," Finn said. "What was that all about?"

"He wants me to be the next band leader."

His smile grew wider. "He's going to nominate you?" he asked excitingly.

Rachel nodded. "Yeah."

"This is great! Rach!" He pulled her in for a hug, and Rachel closed her eyes for a moment, taking in the sensation of being in his arms. Having Finn celebrate this moment with her meant so much to her.

"You know what this means? Don't you?" he said as he pulled back only to look at her properly.

"I do. It means that I would have to work directly with all the producers, managers, our publicist, everyone. I'd lead band discussions, and..." Rachel stepped back for a moment, tucking her hair behind her ear. "I'd have the power to officiate changes…"

"Changes to band rules," Finn finished for her. "Or propose amendments... sure we still would have to approve everything unanimously, but still, Rach…"

"I know. I know. I've always dreamed about the day when we could change the rule, but now that's it's here..." Rachel looked away. Oh how wonderful it was to verbally say these possibilities out loud.

"It's so surreal," Finn said, also taking a step back. "But I also know that we should put the band first, and as band leader, that should be your first priority. So I would understand if-"

Rachel shook her head and placed a finger on his lips to stop him. She didn't want him to say anything about that. Not yet. She wanted to stay in her moment where anything was possible, just for another moment.

Her clocked beeped. It was midnight.

Then something strange happened. All at once. A flash flood of emotions. Call it an epiphany if you would. But right then and there, in that current space and time, Rachel saw Finn.

Yes, she saw him everyday and knew nearly everything about him - inside and out - but for the first time, Rachel saw Finn. Or rather, Rachel all the endless possibilities she could have with Finn in the future, things that she had never allowed herself to see. Or dream.

She saw just how much she wanted to be with him, all of him.

Then the realization filled Rachel with so much joy. Rachel wanted Finn. And she knew that. She's always known that. But for some reason, for some strange, unexplainable reason, in that moment, Rachel finally acknowledged and accepted that she wanted to be with Finn… so… so badly.

As more than a friend. As more than a band mate. She wanted all of him right there and then.

You see, for so long she told herself she couldn't have that with him. Friendship was the only option, despite whatever she felt for him. But maybe… just maybe… the world was telling her that now, she could have him.

"I've thought about that too," she began, slowly. "I've been thinking what would be the right thing to do. And now, I know the answer, all because I finally know what I want."

"What are you saying, Rachel?" Finn whispered, his eyes vulnerable.

Rachel pulled him back close to her.

"I'm saying that my first act as band leader will be to get rid of band rule number #14. I'm saying that I want it all, I want the band, and I want you," Rachel placed her hand at the nape of Finn's neck, pulling his face down so that it was only an inch away from hers. "I wanna date you, Finn Hudson," she said breathlessly. "I think I have since the moment I met you."

Her eyes never leaving his, Rachel watched as Finn's eyes changed - from vulnerable to something completely different. A look in his eyes she didn't quite know yet, she was surprised to learn, but was more than eager to discover.

"Well, Rachel Berry," Finn said, smiled at her, a smile different than any other smile she had seen before too - oh how exciting, this newness. He placed his hands on her cheeks. "It's a good thing that I want to date you too."

Rachel smiled, nearing breaking down at his confession.

"You do?" she managed to say, her voice small.

"Always have," Finn reassured her, tucking her hair behind her ear before resting his hand gently on her cheek. Slowly, he leaned down, moving closer and closer to her.

"You'd still be my Buddy, right?" Rachel whispered when he was only a breath away, because above all, Finn being her best friend was the one thing she hoped would never change.

"Rachel, I'll always be your Buddy," his thumb caressed her cheek in reassurance. "I'll just be your Buddy who takes you out on dates and well, kisses you. If you want to, that is…" Finn rambled before Rachel cut him off.

"I want to," Rachel said, tears coming to her eyes. "I really, really want to."

Finn smile grew even wider, and that was all she needed. She stood on her tiptoes and closed the distance between them.

And their lips met for the first time.

* * *

_Rachel couldn't sleep._

_Standing out on the fire escape of her bedroom, Rachel closed her eyes and just took a moment to breathe._

_It was a pretty good week. The band had quite a few gigs at a couple of bars, and it seemed like the audience really liked them. They even discovered Finn's talent writing his own songs. In fact Finn was going to start writing an original song just for the band. Things were looking up. _

_The only downside was how tiring it was. Everyone else was already asleep, and it wasn't even quite midnight yet._

_And yet she couldn't sleep. _

_She was still thinking about the high of performing. Oh how she loved it. The feeling of performing with the band was just incomparable to anything else… the best feeling in the world._

"_Looks who's up," Rachel heard Finn's voice behind her. She didn't bother to turn around. She didn't need to. Rachel knew Finn would join her._

"_Couldn't go to sleep, Puck was snoring too loud," Finn said once he joined her. "Why aren't you asleep?"_

"_I just couldn't," Rachel shrugged. "Just too happy, I guess."_

_Finn smiled. "We've been doing good."_

"_It's amazing, isn't it? Performing."_

"_It's where we belong. Up on stage... there's nowhere else I'd rather be," Finn exhaled, looking at the city that was still wide awake, much like the both of them._

"_I'm so glad you joined," Rachel turned to look at him. _

"_Me too," Finn smiled at her. _

_Finn's watched beeped._

"_Midnight," he said._

"_It's still pretty early in the night, especially here in New York" Rachel sighed._

"_Well, at least you've got company," Finn supplied. "It's like I said, I like spending time with you."_

"_I like spending time with you too. I'm glad we're friends," Rachel admitted. _

_But she wasn't telling the entire truth. Her true feelings were still much complicated than that. __At that was starting to be a big concern. She didn't know how Finn could do it. __She didn't know that Finn couldn't prove to her time after time again that he was easily the kindest, talented, most amazing man she had ever met._

_But that was the problem. They knew they couldn't date. They were very clear that they couldn't. But it was hard. Sometimes, she would catch Finn looking at her the same way he did when they first met, and Rachel continued to wonder what exactly was going on between the two of them._

_And that aggravated her to no end. How could she be so happy, from performing, yet so confused and concerned about how to handle her feelings for Finn? Rachel needed to start thinking logically. _

_They needed to be clear on where they stood. They needed to define their boundaries._

"_Finn," Rachel took a deep breath. "I… I think we should put a label on our relationship."_

"_Huh?" Finn stared at her, not quite understanding what she was saying. Rachel almost laughed at his confused expression. She knew she could be… a bit much. _

"_What I meant was that I want to define what we are, and what's going on between us."_

"_Ah, b__ecause we have somewhat of a history together," Finn answered slowly, starting to understand, and for that she was grateful._

"_Exactly. And because… I like you. I know we know the rules. I know we understand what that means. But… I want us to be completely comfortable with one another. I want us to know exactly what we stand." _

"_Okay, so…" Finn scratched his head, making Rachel shake her head in amusement. _

"_So, let's start with something we can both agree on. We're not dating," Rachel began slowly. _

"_Right," Finn said, his hand on his chin, deep in thought. "But.. but dating is just a label right? So like we can do some of the things that people that date do, as friends."_

"_Finn, that's dangerous we can't just-" Rachel shook her head. _

"_We can draw the line when we need to right? Like we can hold hands," Finn grabbed her hand and interlocked it with his. _

_Rachel hesitated. While a part of her knew that it was wrong to blur the lines that way, another part of her, a much stronger part, told her that there was nothing wrong with the way Finn held her hands. _

_"I suppose that would be all right," she nodded. "And to confirm," she began cautiously, "there's nothing wrong with me resting my head on your shoulder, like this." Rachel leaned and rested her head on his shoulder. _

"_Right," he rested his head on top of hers. It was familiar, they've done this before in the time that they've been living together, but it was nice to overtly say that it was acceptable. Besides, being in this position with Finn just felt so… right. Something that right couldn't possibly be wrong._

"_I know we shouldn't, you know, kiss on the lips," Finn said, gulping. "But, I don't see anything wrong with… maybe kissing each other on the cheek, or forehead, or really other parts of the uh, face."_

_Rachel turned from where her head was on his shoulder to look at him. She carefully studied his face, from the way that his jaw set the way it was, to the way that a couple of freckles scattered so artfully across his face. Yes, if she couldn't kiss him on the lips, kissing him elsewhere on his gorgeous face would be a good, acceptable compromise. _

_And to be frank, she's sure that somewhere around the world, others would consider such a gesture nothing more than friendly, right?_

_Slowly, she pressed a kiss to his cheek, letting it linger there for just a tiny but longer than what she considered normal. "I agree," she giggled as Finn placed a kiss on her cheek as well. "Just," she raised a hand to Finn's chest tried to go in for another, pushing him slightly, "no peppering of kisses. Only one every so often," Rachel said, making Finn pout, and it took all the strength she had to let him kiss her again. Hmm, this arrangement would be harder than she thought, she knew. But she had no other choice. This was the only way. Besides, she decided, being with Finn like this, whatever this type of friendship was, was one of the best things to have ever happened to her. It was enough. It was enough to answer and appease the confusion going on inside of her. _

_It was enough. _

"_But we got to sort through the dos and don'ts," Rachel sighed, placing her head back on Finn's shoulder. "And we really do need to put a label on this."_

_She needed a proper label to justify all this. _

_Taking a moment to put everything she was feeling into words, Rachel spoke again. "Look, I don't want to lose what's going on between us right now. But we have to be clear - we're can't date."_

"_What should we do then?" _

_Rachel shook her head sadly. There was only one choice - they could only be friends._

_However..._

"_You can treat each friend differently…right? Like I – I don't treat Santana the same way I treat Kurt. And I don't treat Kurt the same way I treat Puck." Rachel turned to put her hands on Finn's shoulders. "We can be friends that treat each other differently from the way that we treat our other friends…"_

"_So like a special friend?" Finn said, one eyebrow still raised slightly._

"_Exactly! So we keep doing what we're doing, be special friends - but not date. That way, no one gets hurt!" Rachel smiled, squeezing his shoulders. "But... I can't go around telling people that you're my special friend, they might think it means something else."_

"_Well," Finn tilted his head, somewhat smirking, his face no longer showing any signs of confusion. He was catching on to what she was thinking and was going along with it. "Why don't we talk in like codes or something?"_

"_Codes?"_

"_Yeah," Finn said, shrugging. "Like, I call you a name, one that only you understand. One that represents what we mean to each other, but what others won't necessarily understand." _

"_Oh!" Rachel exhaled in understanding. "Like a term of endearment."_

"_Term of endearment?"_

"_Yes, but for um… something that would capture this special friendship we've got. Something that we both understand and can represent everything that is going on between the two of us. Did you, uh – did you have anything in mind."_

"_I um- I was thinking, when you brought up friendship… well the first thing I thought of was Buddy."_

"_As in buddy, like a pal?" Rachel furrowed her brow. _

"_Not a plain old buddy. Buddy with a capital B. Like one of those things, those special nouns..." _

"_Proper noun," Rachel corrected._

"_Yeah," Finn smiled. "One of those. What do you say? Buddy?"_

"_Huh… well I suppose it would work," Rachel nodded. Biting his lip, Finn took her hands off his shoulders and interlocked them with his own hands, squeezing them tight._

"_Rachel Berry, will you be my Buddy?"_

_Rachel laughed, squeezing his hand back. "Only if you'll be my Buddy, Finn Hudson."_

_Removing his hands from hers, Finn moved to press his hands against her cheeks, making it so that lips resembled a fish. _

"_Not a bad midnight," he said._

"_The first of many midnights, Buddy," Rachel said through her protruding lips before taking his hands off her face and placing a kiss his knuckles._

_This was the only way Rachel thought. This was the best they could do. And it's enough._

* * *

Rachel was shining, soaring, flying…

She never knew kissing someone could be this magical… and exhilarating… and special at the same time.

Of course, she had long imagined what it would be like to kiss Finn, in spite of herself. She had pictured it many many times, but nothing… nothing could ever compare to the actual thing.

His lips were so gently yet passionately pressed against hers, leaving her so fluttery and free. It truly was a kiss so worth the wait.

They eventually broke apart, but only slightly so that their noses and foreheads still touched and that their bodies were still glued together. From this angle, Rachel could easily see that he was smiling at her, the same smile he gave her before their first kiss.

She couldn't help herself.

Rachel pressed her mouth against his again, her force nearly pushing Finn back. Finn instantly reciprocated her kiss, their lips moving insistently, desperately…

They had a year's worth of kisses to make up for, after all.

Diving into new boundaries, Finn's lips, soon moved down to Rachel's neck. Tilting her head to better accommodate him, Rachel moaned as Finn sucked on her skin. She placed her hand on the back of his head and tugged on his hair in response to the pleasure, pulling him closer and closer to her.

"Your shirt," Finn mumbled, temporary removing his lips off her neck. Rachel instantly missed the contact. "It's wet from the rain. We need to remove it before you get sick."

"Oh," she muttered against his lips, "now you want to get out of these clothes?" Smirking, Rachel pulled his toward hers to kiss him again, guiding his hands to her shirt so that he could remove it.

This was her Finn- her bandmate, her Buddy, her something special.

Anything was possible now.

And Rachel was ready for the change. More than ready.

"RACHEL!" a voice sang out, following by the sound of the front door closing.

Finn and Rachel instantly jumped off one another.

"Kurt?" Finn whispered, his eyes wide. Quickly, he scrambled to grab his wet clothes on the floor.

"I don't know why he's here," Rachel hastily found and put on her robe. "But you need to hide. Go, hide in the closet. Go!" she whispered, making a shooing gesture with her hands.

"He sounds... I dunno, happy. Good news, perhaps?" Finn wondered as he stepped inside.

"I don't know," Rachel shooed him in and closed the closet door. "But we need to make sure he doesn't see you."

"Rachel!" Kurt called out again.

"I'm in my room Kurt," Rachel called out, briefly stopping by a mirror to fix her appearance.

Noticing a little red mark on the side of her neck, Rachel quickly pulled her hair to that one side as Kurt opened the door and walked in.

Rachel could instantly see that he was smiling.

"What happened?" Rachel hesitantly approached him.

"I should ask you the same thing," Kurt said, his eyes evaluating her rather wet appearance. "But, first more important things. I have a confession to make," Kurt beamed.

"What is it?" Rachel asked, holding a hand to her chest, almost protectively. Her body was still racing from kissing Finn.

"I'm in love," Kurt sighed happily, collapsing on her bed.

"Love? Kurt-" Rachel allowed herself to take her mind off of Finn to listen fully.

"I'm in love with Blaine!" Kurt giggled, sitting up.

"Blaine?" Rachel said in confusion. "Our publicist Blaine?"

"Yes!" Kurt clapped his hands together joyfully.

Rachel frowned. Thousands of scenarios started playing out in her head. None of which were good. "Kurt... do you think that's a good idea?"

Kurt gaped at her. "Excuse me."

Rachel sat down next to him and spoke before thinking twice. "It's just, well he has access to a lot of information about our band... and he is control of our public image… I don't want our band to suffer in the event that…"

"In the event that what, Rachel," Kurt demanded an answer.

"You guys break up," Rachel said simply, as if it was obvious. And to her, it was. She's been through this before. Kurt… had the tendency to proclaim love rather early. And after what they've been through with Starchild, she just wanted to protect the band.

Sure, Blaine wasn't a band member, but he was just as involved in their affairs. And it would be detrimental to everything thing they've worked so hard to create.

It was incredible to come this far, and yet it could only take seconds to destroy. She couldn't let Kurt or Blaine or anyone destroy that.

"I would think…" Kurt said as he slowly stood up to face her, "that my best friend would be… I don't know, happy for me," he finished sarcastically.

"Kurt, it's not like that – " Rachel stood up.

"Especially because you knew about all the rejection and subsequent heartbreak I've been through," Kurt's voiced cracked.

"That's exactly why, Kurt! I'm trying to save you, and the band. If you just listen," Rachel pleaded. Her head was now filled with justifications for her stance.

"Kurt, please, we are so, so close to fulfilling all our dreams. Both yours and mine. And remember, rule #1: band members must look out for one another. Kurt, I'm just looking out for you," Rachel grabbed his hand.

"Looking out for me?" Kurt snatched his hand out of her grasp. "You know, I was right to think that you'd be a good fit for band leader. But oh how wrong I was to think that you were a good friend."

"Kurt, please, I- I understand where you're coming from. I do," Rachel closed her eyes, and she knew, right then what she had to do.

And she hated it.

But she knew, deep down, that everything she said to Kurt was right. And she herself had to abide by her own words.

She couldn't be with Finn. At least, not like the way she wanted.

She couldn't put herself first. Rule or no rule - time had proved that dating a band member was too risky. There was too much at stake.

She had forgotten that. She got too swept way with the positive possibilities and forgotten about the bad ones that could come from dating. The ones that end with the band torn apart. The stories that end in heartbreak.

No. Rachel wasn't going to let that happen.

She couldn't lose Finn, or anyone that way.

The rules were there for a reason.

"You're wrong, Rachel. I really hope that you realize that one day." Kurt turned to walk out the door, before stopping. He turned to face her again. "And you don't have to worry. I'll still nominate you for band leader. Then you can make a rule about band members not dating publicists and what not."

"Kurt," Rachel said, her eyes sympathetic.

"Then you'll see for yourself," Kurt turned and walked out of her bedroom and slammed the door.

Rachel sat on her bed, listening, waiting for the sound of Kurt's own bedroom door to open and close. Sure enough it did, and Rachel winced at the sound of it.

"It should be safe," Rachel whispered out, and sure enough Finn came out of where he was hiding slowly.

"Rachel –" Finn began.

"I did the right thing," Rachel began, covering her eyes with her hand, fighting back tears. "I did."

Finn said nothing as he went to sit next to her on her bed. It was silent for a moment before he spoke. "You've changed your mind," he said simply, as if he knew all the thoughts were running through her head. "You're giving up on us."

"Finn please," Rachel opened her eyes, regretting it instantly when she saw the pain in his eyes.

"Look, with Kurt, I get it. He himself admits that he falls in love too quickly. But me? You can't take a chance on me?" Finn grabbed her hands and placed it on his cheeks. "You won't take a chance on us?" he whispered so softly Rachel could barely hear him.

"I want to. I really, really want to," Rachel stroked his cheeks with her thumbs. He had to understand. She had the full picture now. "But… but I can't. We can't. Finn. Look, there's a reason why we didn't date a year ago, right? And it's even more of a risk to do it now that we're so close to making it. What if we were to date, and it didn't work? And I ended up hating you? I don't think I could live like that," Rachel confessed before resting her head on his forehead, her eyes hoping that he would understand her point of view. "But we... we're happy, right? Right now, just as we are? Because nothing made me happier than just being your Buddy."

Finn pulled away. "But we could have been more, Rachel."

"Please," Rachel stood up and moved to bend in front of where he was sitting. She placed a hand under her chin and pulled it down gently so he could look at her. "You know me Finn. You know what I wouldn't intentionally want to hurt you. I'm only doing what I think is right."

"I know. I do." Finn looked away from her gaze. "It just sucks."

"It does," Rachel sighed as a tear fell from her eye. Closing her eyes, Rachel felt more tears fall trickle down her face. Almost ready to completely stop fighting the tears all together, Rachel jumped as she felt a gentle touch came to wipe the tears that had already fallen. Opening her eyes, Rachel saw Finn looking at her once more, his eyes still sad as his thumb gently caressed her face.

"Don't cry," he said. "It's okay," he reassured her, pulling her in for a hug, and Rachel collapsed herself against him, holding him tight.

"I'm sorry," she was shaking now.

"Shhh," Finn stroked her hair before guiding her gaze towards his. "Look, we've still got, what, several more hours before the sun rises? We can just lie down. I don't... I don't want to talk about this anymore. Just lie with me. And when the sun rises, then we can deal with everything. Can you do that? Can you give me these hours?"

Forcing a smile although the tears were still in her eyes, Rachel nodded. "It'll be beautiful to watch, I'm sure."

They changed clothes in silence, which continued even after they lie down - her body tucked under his for hours. Hours with Finn that were gift from the world, before reality had to be accepted.

But they went by too quickly. The faintest of light soon broke through her window.

Daylight.

Finn began to stood up, and Rachel followed, stopping him with a hand against his chest.

She wasn't ready to say goodbye just yet. "Do you - do you think before you leave, do you think you can give me one last kiss? Before all this - these past few hours - come to an end?" She pleaded.

Finn squeezed his eyes closed. "I'm sorry. But I can't. I shouldn't, we shouldn't. And Santana and Kurt might come back and see us. I gotta go down the fire escape now."

"Finn –"

"But I promised you, right?" Finn opened his eyes to look at her. "That I'll always be your Buddy. That won't ever change."

Leaning forward, Finn pressed a kiss on her forehead before leaving. Closing her eyes, Rachel tried to immense herself fully in the feeling. Yes, as always, he had kissed her head tenderly, warmly.

But feeling didn't make her as happy as it used to. Because all that was nothing compared to how she felt when he kissed her full on the lips.

Shaking her head, Rachel brought her knees to her chest. She had no choice, she would have to settle for friendship once more. "It's enough," she said aloud to herself. "It's enough."

* * *

Rachel could tell that Kurt and Santana were fighting.

She somehow was able to squeeze a couple of hours of sleep after Finn left (despite the all the thoughts swarming in her mind, or maybe because of it), and when she woke up, Santana and Kurt had already left for the studio.

She's thankful to the universe that they didn't catch her and Finn, but that's the extent of her gratitude.

"You had to go and ruin things, didn't you?" she heard Santana say, making her wonder if Santana knew about Blaine.

"Me? Please, you're the one to talk," Kurt scoffed. Thinking back to her conversation with Santana, Rachel wondered if Santana told Kurt her thoughts about rule #14 being a "stupid" rule. But wouldn't that mean she was okay with Kurt and Blaine dating? From the tones of their voices, Rachel would imply quite the opposite - Santana was angry.

"What's going on?" Rachel asked as she entered the room.

"Nothing that concerns you, Rachel," Kurt snapped.

"Please Kurt," Rachel cautiously approached him. "If this is about what happened last night-"

"It isn't-" Kurt cut her off. "Now, where the hell are Finn and Puck?

"Right here," Puck's voice filled the room from the front door.

"Is everything, okay? Finn said, entering the room with Puck, obviously noticing the tension in the room. And despite everything that went on between them, his mere presence made Rachel feel more comfortable, especially with her not being on good terms with Kurt at the moment.

"Everything's fine," Kurt said quickly, too quickly for anyone to believe. "Now everyone, sit."

Doing as she was told, Rachel immediately took a seat. Glancing around, she tried to steal a look at Finn, as she always did during these meetings, her heart stopped for a second when he immediately caught her eye.

He was keeping his promise. Things haven't change. At least, not yet.

"I was planning to do this next week, but I thought, why wait? It's been a year, and as rule #3 states, members of the band must elect a leader each year. As the current band leader, I am denying myself the opportunity to be nominated once again as band leader. Furthermore, I nominate Rachel Berry to be our next band leader."

Before Rachel could speak to accept the nomination, Santana spoke. "Yeah no. I nominate Finn."

"What?" Finn asked, his jaw dropping. "Me?"

"No, the other giant in this room," Santana rolled her eyes. "No offense Rachel, you're my friend, but you would be the most uptight, controlling band leader to have ever existed - even more so than Kurt. Dictator Rachel. And I simply don't have the time to meet all the demands I know you're going to put in place."

"I'm with Santana," Puck piped. "No way would I be cool with Berry bossing me around."

Rachel gasped. This wasn't happening. She thought she would get everyone's vote easily, especially after all that she's done. "Well I am appalled!" Rachel stood up to defend herself. "I, for one, have given everything to this band -"

These past few hours alone should have been proof enough, in her mind.

"And Finn hasn't?" Santana justified.

Rachel opened her mouth to speak but she couldn't. Santana was right, Finn would make a great band leader. While she was the face of the band, being lead singer, Finn was the backbone of the band. His ability to write songs carried the band to new heights and the fact was, he was a natural born leader. And Finn knew to put the band first too.

"Okay, Santana, you've made your point," Kurt said. "But I am not withdrawing my nomination for Rachel. We'll have to pick between the two, unanimously, as per rule #2."

"Yeah, like that's going to happen," Puck laughed.

"Puck's right," Finn finally spoke up. "It's going to be hard. Look, I think it's cool that you think I'm fit to be a band leader. But Kurt's right, Rachel would be a pretty good leader… sometimes. Besides, I don't think I can do it."

"Finn…" Rachel began, but she didn't know how to finish.

"At least, not alone," Finn looked at her, before looking back at the others. "What do you say? How about we have two band leaders? Rachel and I could be co-band leaders."

Kurt and Santana looked at one another. While Rachel agreed that this was a good idea, having two of the five members being the band leaders would throw the balance of the band. Afraid of hearing their response, she turned to at Puck, who was smirking at her. Typical. Rolling her eyes, Rachel turned her attention back to Kurt and Santana.

"I suppose…" Kurt began, "based on prior experience, it would be helpful to have two people leading so that one person isn't too swamped with work. So, I'm okay with that."

"Yeah, Finn would put Rachel her place," Santana smiled before winking at Rachel. Deciding to ignore her, Rachel focused on Puck.

"Fine," Puck shrugged. "I could deal with half a Berry in charge."

"And Rachel?" Kurt asked.

"I suppose I could be able to set aside my differences with Finn to co-lead the band with him," Rachel nodded, still putting on a face for the others. "Only for the sake of the band, of course."

"Perfect," Kurt said, and for a moment Rachel could see a slight smirk on his face. Rachel was puzzled - what did that mean? Was this about their discussion last night?

"So it's decided. Finn and Rachel are our new band leaders. As band leaders, your first order of business, is of course, the band rules. Will you guys be making any changes to the band constitution."

Rachel gulped and looked at Finn, his expression unreadable. "I think -" she began.

"There is one rule I think we could change," Finn said, and Rachel's heart stopped.

What was he suggesting?

"What rule?" Kurt asked.

"Rule #8."

Rule #8? Rachel scanned her mind. Right, rule #8 - each month, band members shall rotate the responsibility of treating the entire band to dinner.

"I just think we have set some standards and make it fair for everyone, you know?"

"So you mean no more dinosaur chicken tenders," Kurt nodded.

Puck stood up in defense, "Hey, I know for a fact that you all loved my Puckasaurus Nuggets. Especially Berry-" he pointed to her.

"I'm a vegetarian!" Rachel crossed her arms.

She's glad Finn thought about amending the rule, it hadn't even crossed her mind. Finn was already shaping up to be a good band leader, not that she was surprised, of course. But she can already tell that their band was good hands with the two of them in charge.

Perhaps things were looking up. It was clear to Rachel now - the universe wanted two of them needed to lead the band to new heights. They're right where they needed to be.

"So, now that we're a bit more well off than last year, I think we should set a $15 minimum, $20 maximum per person," Finn offered. "Thoughts?"

They all agreed, even Puck, but only after Finn reminded him that that would be enough for them to get chicken tenders at Dave and Busters and have money left over to play games.

"Now, before I officially retire, are they any other rules you would like to change?" Kurt asked, although Rachel noticed he was annunciating more than he normally did.

Did Kurt want her to change the rules so that he could date Blaine?

No, it wasn't going to happen. But she wasn't going to make a rule against dating publicists either - she would just have to handle that problem herself without bringing the rest of the band into it.

"No, at least not for me," Finn said immediately. "What about the rest of you guys?" Finn looked at each of them, saving her for last.

Rachel looked away and said nothing.

"All right, no other changes."

* * *

**A/N: I remember this chapter being particularly tricky to write - glad it's finally up. And wow, it's been nearly two years since the last update. ****I've been writing bits and pieces of this story off and on during that time - I apologize if it seems a little choppy or if my writing style has changed.**

**I told myself I couldn't post again until I was done writing every chapter. Aside from a few revisions, the entire story is mostly complete, and I hope to gradually have everything up soon. Thank you for bearing with me. Let me know if you have any questions!**


	5. Winter Cookies

**A/N: Italics are flashbacks.**

* * *

Days after becoming band leader, Rachel took it upon herself to handle Kurt's situation with Blaine. So, after finishing a meeting with their publicist, Rachel confronted Blaine and apologized for the fact she would not allow him to be an item with Kurt.

To her surprise, Blaine had the audacity to look at her with pure confusion, even going as far as to say that he and Kurt were "only friends." Now, had he not been a publicist, Rachel would have believed him. But Rachel knew that given his profession, Blaine must be familiar with acting and could control his expressions. Besides, Rachel knew better than to trust the "just friends" excuse. There was more to story, she knew.

Of course, when Kurt found out about her conversation with Blaine he was not at all pleased. In fact, he seemed more embarrassed than Rachel had ever seen him been and he was extremely upset with her with meddling in his business.

However, about a week after that, Kurt came up to her, proclaiming he had forgiven her completely and that she didn't have to worry about him and Blaine.

Now even more doubtful that they were telling the truth, Rachel made it her mission to prove her suspicions correct.

"You're paranoid," Finn told her one raining day in the café. "You have nothing to worry about."

As promised, things between them haven't changed since the day they kissed, to her relief. They still got coffee at the café every time it rained. They still acted like they despised each other in front of the others when in reality, they were the first and last person they spoke to each day.

But something was off between them. Rachel couldn't deny that. But she didn't have the time to figure it out just it. Not when she had more pressing matters at hand. And truth be told, she didn't want to decipher the change, she was too afraid of what it would mean for the future of their friendship.

So, work was her priority, for now.

"Prove me wrong," Rachel challenged. "Go on a stakeout with me."

And so, after the end of their band's next meeting with Blaine, Rachel followed him out, telling her cab driver to follow Blaine's cab while Finn's cab did the same with Kurt's.

"Don't forget to put your disguise on," Rachel said through the phone.

"A chance to put on an investigator hat? Never!" Finn joked. Rachel fought back a laugh. She couldn't help but to think about how endearing he was. She could clearly picture his expression - the dimple by smile and the quirking of his eyebrows - all of it, despite not being physically there with him.

Sure enough, Kurt and Blaine got off at the same place – a shopping district. Giddy for being right, Rachel waited in the cab until Blaine and Kurt were far away, texting Finn once it was safe to follow them.

Getting out of her own cab, Rachel quickly headed over to where Finn was and grabbed his hand quickly, pulling him into the direction where Blaine and Kurt went.

"I told you," she whispered to him. "If there was nothing going on between them, why would they take separate cabs?"

"You're going to need more proof for me to believe you," Finn smirked, which only motivated Rachel more.

"Which is why we're following them," Rachel tugged him into the clothing store Kurt and Blaine had entered not too long before. Sighing, Rachel shook her head. "You're way too tall, they're going to see you! Quick, go hide inside here," Rachel pulled him to a nearby round clothes rack.

"You're kidding me, right?" Finn looked at her in disbelief. "Rachel, I can't fit in there!"

"Quickly! They're coming!" Rachel whispered urgently. Awkwardly, Finn pushed a pile of clothes around the circular rim of the rack and entered through the small opening. Knowing that there was no more time to find another hiding place, Rachel followed Finn inside.

"Rach-" Finn began before Rachel pressed her index finger against his lips.

They were in a… compromising position, to say the least. Given the minimal space inside the clothing rack, the only way that Finn could have fit was with him kneeling, head bowed down, back bent, awkwardly trying to avoid the pole holding everything up in the middle. Adding Rachel there only complicated things more.

In her haste to get in without being seen, Rachel had positioned herself in a way so that she was very much straddling Finn. It certainly didn't help that the tight space had forced Rachel to be mere centimeters away from Finn's face.

Still, now was not the time to think about it. She could see Blaine and Kurt behind Finn's head. Needing to get a better look, Rachel placed her hand on the nape of Finn's neck, pulling his head down to her chest so she could see through the cracks of the clothing.

"Uh, Rachel you do know that I'm like right by your bo-" Finn started whispering before Rachel cut him off by placing the hand that was on neck onto the back of his head, stroking it slightly, knowing very well it would make him stop talking.

"You're completely right, this would look good on Finn," Rachel heard Blaine say.

"Oh course, plus it matches perfectly with the jacket we got for Rachel," Kurt exclaimed, sounding very proud of his selection.

"Speaking of Rachel," Blaine chuckled. "Can you believe she thought we were dating?" Rachel frowned at the honest expression on Blaine's face. She observed their natural body language. They were friendly and warm toward one another, she could see that. But they kept their space.

"Haha," Kurt laughed nervously. "You know how crazy Rachel can be. Heck, that's why we love her. Now, come, let's go ahead and buy these things so we can get started on what I'm going to wear at our next performance - thanks by the way for agreeing to come along last minute."

"I was worried a bit when I got your text but my cab driver didn't mind the change in destination."

Rachel watched as Kurt and Blaine left - the two of them still keeping a safe, comfortable distance between them. Letting go off Finn's head (suddenly realizing she had been holding it to her chest the entire time), Rachel leaned her head against the pole.

"Wasn't what you were expecting?" Finn said, adjusting his head slightly so he could look into her eyes, his face close to hers once more.

"I hate being wrong," Rachel shook her head. "But none of this makes sense. Why would Kurt tell me that he was in love with Blaine?"

Things weren't adding up.

"Maybe he wasn't lying," Finn reasoned. "All Kurt said was that he was in love with Blaine. He didn't necessarily say that Blaine liked him back. And so, at least for now, we don't have anything to worry about."

Rachel forced a smile. "I suppose you're right."

"Good," Finn smiled, his hands coming up to her face to pull her cheeks up further, exaggerating her fake smile even further. He knew she was faking it.

Rachel slapped his hand away, a genuine smile now showing on her face.

"Are they still here?" Finn asked.

Rachel moved her head away from the pole to look once more through the cracks. "They're just leaving."

Moving her head back to look at Finn properly, Rachel locked eyes with him. Suddenly, Rachel remembered that she was still straddling him. Finn's breath hitched as her body somehow automatically moved upward and closer toward his at the realization, her arms wrapping around his neck again to hold herself in place.

They said nothing, even as Finn placed of his hands on either side of her waist, resting his hands on her hips.

Feeling desire build up inside of her, Rachel searched Finn's eyes. Even in the darkness of their hiding spot, Rachel could see something in his eyes, something she was pretty sure matched hers.

It had been a long time since either of them been intimate with someone. They both knew that. The band, and well, their friendship, made it difficult to do so. And yet with Finn, the desire was something entirely different than anything she could ever imagine before - it's own category really, but Rachel couldn't put a name to it. Nothing else could ever quite compare.

But now, things were different. Now she can so vividly remember the feel of Finn's lips on hers.

How easy it would be to close the distance and buck her hips? Too swept up the moment, Rachel was almost ready to let this unique desire take over.

Almost.

Until they heard a clinking sound.

Startled, Finn fell back, his head popping out of the clothes rack.

"Er, hi-" he said to the woman who was looking through the clothes, who then screamed at the sight of him.

Minutes later, Finn and Rachel walked out of the store, their faces red from both being flushed and embarrassed.

"We can't..." Rachel said as they walked quickly out of the mall.

"Right," Finn said, he was trailing behind her cautiously.

"We shouldn't. I'm sorry, that was all my fault, and it won't happen again," she said, stopping as they reached the street to hail a cab.

"Buddies with benefits, off the table," Finn said once he reached her. "We both know that."

And she did. But that wasn't what was worrying her. She always been aware of her desire for Finn, but today, she almost gave into it - her strength to resist Finn was wavering. She wasn't sure her brain - with all it's logic and reasoning - was strong enough anymore.

"Besides," Finn continued, "you deserve better than that."

* * *

Rachel never knew her dream of becoming a star would happen so quickly.

The days went by and before Rachel knew it, it had been month after she and Finn became the band's leaders. By then, it seemed as if all their dreams were coming true. Everything was coming together perfectly.

Time passed by too quickly, almost all at once. But there were certain memories Rachel will never forget.

Like first time she heard their song, the song she wrote with Finn, on the radio. They were all sitting in their studio with the radio on, waiting. When the beats of the introduction started playing, all five of them burst out screaming, all of them ending up in a giant group hug. She looked up at Finn only to find him already looking at her with so much pride, and Rachel knew they had never felt more accomplished than they did in that moment, all because of their song.

And later, when it was just the two of them left in the studio, Finn picked her up and spun her around his forehead pressed to hers - thanking her for this experience.

She'll also never forget the look on Finn's face when nearly three hundred people showed up to watch them perform not too long after, the night they gave one of the best performances of their lives. Oh such fulfilling experiences for the both of them, and that night set a new standard for all of them.

It was then that Rachel felt so humbled to understand that this wasn't just her dream - it was his too. All of theirs. There was nothing like seeing it all come true right before their very eyes. And Rachel could not be grateful enough that she had all of them to help build and share this dream alongside of her.

Some may call it luck, but somehow, all the stars aligned and the band took off. Their songs quickly rose in popularity, with their original song even becoming the #1 downloaded song for a while in the city.

It was times like this when she knew without a doubt that life was good to them.

And now their band was busier than ever. Especially now that they were working on another album signed with a top producer – one that was purely songs of their own, no more covers.

They started performing at bigger venues, and hearing their fans sing alongside of them was an honor of its own. Plus, another great thing about their rising fame was the fact that people wanted her autographs. To her, that was the true measurement of success.

Blaine started having them do more press interviews, too. Rachel had once imagined doing these a child and had practiced time and time again how to appropriately answer any question thrown at her with poise and confidence. She was born to do this.

They were really getting noticed, and for that Rachel was thankful. Becoming popular certainly made their schedules a lot more hectic, but like a true star, Rachel embraced it.

And as the band leaders, Rachel again found herself spending more and more time with Finn, more than she ever thought was possible. In fact, the band expected it now. Sure, they kept their bickering charade, but it was nice not having to sneak out every so often to see him. Even though most of their time together was dedicated to handling band related matters, Rachel enjoyed his company.

Besides, being occupied with work kept Rachel's mind away from how the dynamic between the two was still off.

Rachel still didn't understand it. She was still doing the same things she was doing with Finn before. He still looked and treated her the exact same way. In fact, Rachel would have thought that the additional time that they've been spending together could only make their friendship stronger.

But she couldn't deny that something between them was not in tune - at least in her mind.

She wondered if Finn could tell that there was something wrong, but if he did, he didn't choose to address it. Instead, they poured themselves into the band, and their efforts were paying off. They've written several more songs together and they were all ready to record.

The traditions were still there, Rachel would tell herself whenever that she thought about Finn. He's still her best friend. It's enough. She reminded herself of that as she took off her heavy coat and placed it on the back of a chair and prepared herself for another band meeting.

"Listen up," Puck announced. "I got big news for you all."

"You've robbed an ATM machine and the police on their way as we speak," Santana said as she slumped on the couch.

"Close," he pointed his finger at Santana. "I'm moving out."

"Wait, what?" Finn stood up from his chair. "Dude, you didn't even think to ask me about it first?"

"Please, I'm there like what, once a week? And I still have to contribute to rent? Hell no. I ain't doing it anymore."

"Quinn's making you pay rent, isn't she?" Rachel crossed her arms.

"Now that the band's suddenly popular she wants me to start contributing," Puck threw his hands up in defense. "And I'm not stupid. I'm not about to pay for two places. So I'm moving out."

It was silent for a moment. Not quite sure what to say, Rachel twirled around her scarf, thinking about this new development.

"Come on, don't be sad," Puck went over to punch Finn's arm. "We've had several good years together, but we both know you can't keep the Puckerman in a cage."

"Quinn apparently can," Kurt said to Rachel, who only smiled and rested her head on Kurt's shoulder.

"Besides, think of it as a good thing. One of you three," he pointed to Rachel, Kurt, and Santana, "can take my place. Because let's face it, it's a miracle you three have survived living together for this long."

Rachel froze. One of them would have to move out?

"Well, it's obvious, isn't it? Who would take your place? It has to be Rachel," Santana shrugged.

Wait a minute...

"Me? Stay in Noah's old room?" Rachel sat up, her heart racing at what Santana was suggesting. "Please, there's probably diseases in there."

Kurt shook his head. "No, Santana's right. Since you and Finn are both band leaders, it would make the most sense for you to be his roommate. You guys can collaborate more conveniently that way," Kurt looked at her as if it was the most obvious idea in the world.

"But with him," Rachel exaggerated, gesturing toward Finn for dramatic effect. Not that she didn't mind the idea of living with Finn, quite the opposite. It's just that it would be a big change for the both of them. She didn't know how being roommates with Finn would affect their friendship. The last thing she wanted was for things to get more complicated.

It had been nearly four months since their kiss and yet Rachel could still easily remember every detail of it in a second. Did she trust herself to handle being just his roommate?

"Rachel. Think of it as an opportunity. You and Finn got along so well when we were all living together. I'm sure you can get along again. Come just do it, for the sake of the band," and Kurt had said the magic words.

She's always said she'd do anything for the band. But Kurt also brought up a good point - they had been roommates before. That label had already once been a part of their all encompassing definition of being each other's Buddy.

So moving in wouldn't be too much of a change, right?

"Finn?" Rachel asked.

"I don't care who I live with," Finn shrugged. "As long as I don't have to pay rent by myself.

Rachel bit her lips. When she really thought about it, Kurt and Santana did make valid points. While spending more time with Finn would truly test her - Rachel knew there was no sense in protesting what she really wanted. She loved spending time with him but to be able to do so every day and night? Well, Rachel would consider herself the luckiest girl in the world.

So long as she remembered what being a Buddy meant, they would be okay.

"Fine. I'll move in with Finn."

* * *

_It was snowing. _

_Sighing in contentment, Rachel stood by her bedroom window watched the snow fall into the still ever busy streets of New York City. _

_She had always loved winter, but there was something special spending it in New York City. When she was a little girl, her parents gave her a snow globe of the city for her birthday. And at just seven years old, Rachel promised herself she was going to make it in New York, and become the brightest star even amongst the heavy snow._

_While she might not be a star just yet, she knew it was only a matter of time before her time came. Although she might not have pictured it as a child, Rachel now knew that being in the band would bring her fame. _

_Rachel smiled as she thought about the band. Even though they had just joined four months earlier, it was hard to imagine the band without Finn and Puck. They just added another unique facet to the band and together, the five of them were able to create amazing music._

"_It's snowing." Rachel heard a familiar voice._

"_Indeed, it is," Rachel replied._

"_Isn't snow just like rain, except you know, frozen?" The voice was coming closer, he was approaching her. She kept her gaze on the window, the glass fogging up with every exhale she took._

"_Well, snow is essentially the precipitation of ice crystals that have formed in the atmosphere, so…"_

_Rachel didn't except a response back, she knew he didn't really care behind the science of it all._

_Out of the corner of her eyes, Rachel watched as he approached the window, standing next it as well._

"_Back when Puck and I were in Ohio and before we went to New York, we had this big idea about moving to California - Southern California to be specific. We were going to start a pool cleaning business." _

_Finally, she turned to face him, although his gaze was still focused on looking out the window. "Is that so?" she asked._

"_I'm really glad we didn't go through with it. We loved music too much. Besides, I can't imagine spending winter without snow."_

"_It's perfect then – your first winter in New York. It must be perfect," she offered._

_He tapped on the glass a couple of times before he spoke. "Not quite."_

"_What's missing then?" Rachel frowned - was he not happy? Rachel couldn't live with herself if he was miserable here. _

_Finn finally turned to look at her, his face serious. "Cookies."_

"_Cookies?" Rachel smiled, her concern now turned into amusement._

"_Yes Rachel, cookies. Not just any kind of cookie. But the decorative ones, with fancy icing."_

_Rachel forced back a laugh. Finn really found a way to brighten her spirits, even when she didn't think she needed it. "Did your mom make you these cookies when you were younger?"_

"_No," Finn looked down. "She was always too busy working - single mom, you know? But I've always wanted them!" He looked back up at her. "Which is why cookies are like, the only thing that would make my winter perfect."_

_Rachel turned, resting her back against the cool, glass window. "You're lucky then. You just happen to be in the presence of someone who is infamous for her cookies."_

_She started to walk toward the kitchen._

"_Really? You're going to bake cookies?" Finn said from behind her. "And we can decorate them too?"_

_Rachel turned her head back toward him. "Well, I'm good at icing 'I'm sorry' on top of them, it shouldn't be too different."_

_She was wrong._

_The baking went off without a hitch. Icing the cookies, however, proved to be a bigger challenge than Rachel had originally thought. _

_She had spent forever trying to pipe intricate details of icing onto a snowflake cookie, only for it to smear onto the back of her hand. _

_Not that Finn cared in the slightest, but still, Rachel was a perfectionist. Finn needed to have perfect cookies to have a perfect holiday season._

"_I'll get it right next time," she said as she poured him a glass of milk. _

"_You're going to bake cookies again?" Finn asked, hopeful with crumbs across his face._

"_Sure," she laughed, wiping the crumbs off of his face with her hands. "The next times it snows. It'll be our new tradition."_

_She's a little disappointed, three days later, when Puck arrived home with news that he had found an apartment for him and Finn._

_Apparently the woman Noah was chasing after this time was a real estate agent and getting the apartment was his way of getting this Quinn Fabray to sleep with him. _

_Rachel shook her head - all this effort for someone Puckerman probably wouldn't remember in a month. _

_She's even more disappointed, however, when Finn reasoned to her that they he didn't really have an excuse to say no, especially now that they've been earning enough. Plus, five people living in one apartment wasn't easy, he reminded her. _

_So she helped him fold his clothes neatly (Finn had originally shoved them all into a box) and labeled the top of each box after he tapped them all shut._

_All five of them helped with the move. Rubbing her arms to keep warm while they unload the small truck, Rachel was surprised when she felt something cold land on her face._

_It was snowing._

_A smile on her face, Rachel scanned the truck for a particularly large box. Seeing the familiar outside print, Rachel grabbed it. Running inside, she held the door open while the others carried boxes inside._

"_Here," she beamed as handed Finn the box she had been carrying._

"_Uh, what was in here again? It's big and heavy." Finn shook the box, the insides banging against each other slightly._

_Rachel clapped her hands. "You don't know what it is because it's a gift from me."_

"_And me," Santana joined in. _

"_From us," Kurt said, whispering "we'll pay you back later" into Rachel's ear._

"_Thanks guys," Finn said, putting the box down to open it. "Wow, it's uh, pans and… other kitchen stuff."_

"_Because I knew you two would forget. And no, Noah, it is not acceptable to eat off of paper plates just so you don't have to wash the real ones."_

"_Well, thanks," Finn smiled his half-smile at her, and Rachel mentally patted herself on the back for choosing the perfect gift._

"_We should start setting the furniture up and stuff. It's snowing and Rachel and Santana and I shouldn't stay here too long," Kurt said already starting to move the other boxes into their rightful place._

"_Rachel, come on," Santana said, and Rachel realized she was still standing there while the others were already busy._

_But it was snowing. _

_She told Finn she was going to bake him cookies when it snowed again. Sure, she knew he wouldn't mind if she didn't bake them, especially because he was in the middle of moving into a new place. But Rachel gave him her word. Besides, she couldn't forget the joy on his face when she made those cookies the first time._

_She'd very much like to see him smile like that again. _

_But they didn't have any ingredients. In fact, they didn't have groceries at all._

_That was simply unacceptable. _

"_Santana, I'll be back, there's something I need to do," Rachel told her._

"_Be careful, it's snowing, and it's freezing out," Santana raised her eyebrow, but Rachel was already out the door._

_She had cookies to bake. For her Buddy._

_By the time she arrived back, her arms full from the bags of groceries, Kurt and Santana were already waiting in the living room._

"_About time," Kurt stood up, reaching for his coat. "Come on Rachel, the snow's not too bad just yet, and I've got an appointment with a potential publicist later."_

_Rachel shook her head, not even second guessing herself. "You guys go ahead." _

_Santana stared at Rachel and the bags in her arms. "Did you buy them groceries?" _

_Rachel nodded, already starting to put things inside the refrigerator. _

"_They didn't have any, so I thought I'd give them a hand," Rachel said casually. _

_There was silence before Kurt spoke. "You do know that these boys won't touch any of this until at least tomorrow. Not when there's a pizza place close to here." _

"_Please, you guys know Finn likes this particular snack," Rachel held up a bag of Sour Patch Kids, an obvious fact. "So should he want some tonight, it's here."_

"_Actually, no, we didn't. How the hell you know that?" Santana demanded._

"_We all lived together! Of course I know -" Rachel began, frowning. Did they not know that about Finn?_

"_Whatever! Rachel, can you hurry up and put those away so we can go?" Kurt said, already waiting by the door._

_Rachel bit her lip. _"_I told you," Rachel said, now looking through the box of pans to find the baking pan. "You two go ahead. I still have things to do here."_

"_Like what?" Santana crossed her arms, her face showing no sign of anger, but rather that of curiosity._

"_I'm making cookies," Rachel said, avoiding their faces._

"_Okay," Santana popped her lips and walked toward Kurt. "Come on Kurt, let's go so Rachel can make… cookies."_

_Rachel continued to ignore them and started mixing the ingredients for the cookies. She was determined to perfect everything this time._

_About half an hour later, Finn walked out of his room, a dazed look on his face. _

"_Am I smelling… what I think I'm smelling?" he was smiling._

"_I told you," Rachel said, now preparing the icing. "Didn't I say I was going to make you cookies next time it snowed?" _

"_Yeah," Finn went up to her and placed his hand on her forearm. "But… I didn't expect you to do it today."_

"_That's what I do Finn," Rachel playfully slapped his hand away so she could get back to getting the icing ready. "I do the unexpected and I keep my word," she wiggled her eyebrows._

_Finn gently took ahold of her chin, tilting it up so she was looking him in the eyes. "Seriously Rachel, thank you."_

_Rachel looked down, suddenly feeling flushed. "This new tradition's gotta continue, right?"_

_She doesn't start heading back for another three hours. Despite the cold, she took her time going home, hoping that Kurt and Santana didn't interrogate her. _

_To her surprise, however, only Santana was there waiting for her when she got back. Of course – she remembered, Kurt had a band related appointment. Yes, it would be great having a publicist for their band. _

"_So nice of you to finally come by, Rachel," Santana approached her when Rachel closed the front door. "Did you have fun making cookies?"_

"_Hello to you, too Santana. And yes, they were delicious. You would have known if you had only stayed for a couple more hours -" _

"_Come on Rachel, let's cut the crap. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you've got a soft spot for Hudson," Santana said._

_Rachel froze, her face feeling flush. _"_Don't be silly. I would do it for anyone," Rachel said nervously, ignoring the way her heart was starting to pound in her chest. _

"_Nope. Never," Santana shook her head. "You've never done that anyone in your life. And you know what, you have been acting rather close with him since he joined. So come on, spill the beans. What's going on between you two?" _

_Under Santana's gaze, Rachel suddenly remembered it all - the crying, the pain, the drafting of the band rules..._

_Rachel sighed - of course Santana would be worried about history repeating itself. _

_No, Rachel must not give her any reason to be concerned. She couldn't do that to Santana. _

_Rachel rolled her eyes and moved passed her so she could enter her bedroom. "Finn and I are just friends." Now standing by her bedroom door, Rachel turned to look at Santana. "Besides, he's our band member, remember?"_

_Santana said nothing, and rather than try to read the expression on her face, Rachel quickly entered her bedroom._

_She later called Finn to tell him of the encounter. _

"_They think we're together because I made you cookies," she whispered so that her roommates would not hear her. _

"_But we're not," Finn voice said through the phone. "Those cookies were awesome, by the way."  
_

"_Thank you," Rachel smiled to herself - her frosting was better this time, but not quite perfect. "Still, we've got to do something so they don't get suspicious of us. We'd never hear the end of it."_

_Finn took a breath before he spoke. "I guess that's a little easier now that we moved out. Since they're not around the both of us all the time."_

_Rachel smiled to herself, finding comfort in his voice. It was hard to accept the fact that she wouldn't be bumping into him every morning and night, but Finn was right, it was for the best._

"_Yes, I suppose." Rachel paused, her mind still on Santana. What to do what to do… _

_Oh! Of course, it was so simple._

_The best way to avoid any unreasonable behavior from her band mate was to just throw them off their trails. _

"_That's it! We've just got to pretend we don't like each other whenever we're around the others." Rachel exclaimed._

"_But how do I do that? It's possible not to like you."_

_Rachel smiled at Finn's remark. Not too many people liked her, especially when she was younger. But the answer was elementary, really. _

"_It's simple acting. We bicker. You insult me, I insult you. Only when they're around of course."_

_It was the only practical solution. Rachel knew Santana and Kurt would never believe her if she said that she and Finn were just friends. That's the last thing those two should be worrying about, especially when there were most important band matters to focus on. This was for their own sake._

_But also, this was all to protect Finn. And Puck. She knew that if that Kurt and Santana overreacted - Finn and Puck would be the ones forced to leave. No, that couldn't happen, not over something like this._

"_But we'd still be friends, right?" Finn hesitated; did he not know how easy this would all be? _

"_Of course Buddy," Rachel said, all too quickly. "We'd just… have to be more secretive about it. Look our friends are crazy. We're not… we're not doing anything wrong. Our conscious is clear. But we just have to sneak around a little so it doesn't blow up."_

_It was quiet for awhile before Finn finally spoke. "Yeah, I think it could work. And sneaking around could be fun, actually!"_

_Hearing Finn's excitement about the new development caused Rachel to let out a sigh of relief. Thank goodness Finn was understanding. And when Rachel really thought about it, sneaking around like that could be a little fun. Their friendship should just be between the two of them. Having that sense of privacy was reassuring - they didn't anyone intruding. "It's better this way."_

_"Thanks again for the cookies," Finn said._

_Rachel couldn't fight the smile on her face. "Don't worry, Finn, the next time it snows, I'll make you more. And I promise, I'll find a way to get them to you."_

* * *

"I am insulted," Rachel huffed, setting down two medium boxes on the living room floor.

"Really," Finn raised his eyebrow.

"First, they kick me out, then they don't even offer to help me move out-" Rachel rambled as she aggressively opened her boxes.

"Right," Finn cleared his throat. "So Puck's room is all empty, I'm just going to start moving these there." Finn pointed to her larger boxes.

Rachel nodded and watched him leave. It was certainly a struggle having to move everything without the help of her (old) roommates, who seemed all too happy that she was leaving and were already talking about they were going to put in her (old) room.

Rachel sighed. While she agreed to move out, a part of her would always miss her old space in her apartment. It was the first place that was hers since college and so many things have happened since then.

Still, change was important, and if moving would help her and the band on their way to their something great, then she should embrace it.

Plus, maybe the reason why her friendship with was off was because they had forgotten their roots. Moving in together was the perfect opportunity for them to remember the foundation of their friendship. After all, it wasn't until they were roommates that they truly became each other's Buddy.

Rachel looked up as Finn came back toward her. "Can I take these?" he said, pointed to the two boxes she had been shuffling through.

Rachel nodded. "Thanks."

She followed him into Puck's (her) room and leaned against the doorframe, watching as he set the boxes onto the desk.

Rachel really did owe a lot to Finn. And even though she wasn't doing a good job of showing it yet, Rachel hoped he knew how excited she was to be his roommate again.

She'll be a better roommate than Noah ever was - she'll clean up, cook, sing not as loud as she normally would when he was sleep - she'll show Finn that he didn't need Puck, not when he had her.

And she knew where to start.

"I was looking at the weather forecast this morning," Rachel began, smiling as Finn's ears perked up.

"Really?" Finn turned to face her. "Anything interesting?"

Rachel shrugged. "It might snow later."

Finn nodded, teasingly. "I wouldn't be surprised. It is that time of the year." Finn walked up to her, only stopped until he was standing a couple of inches away from her. "But I guess, we'll have to wait and see."

Rachel rolled her eyes but moved to hug him anyways. "Come on," she took ahold of his hand, guiding him out. "There are more boxes to move and unpack."

Several hours later, they end on their couch with a single blanket sprawled out over the two of them, Finn's left arm around her, and his right hand holding a cookie.

"Probably your best yet," he said between bites. "And I've ate a lot of batches last year, so I would know."

"Some things get better with time," Rachel sighed, nestling herself so she was closer to Finn's warm body.

Finn smiled at her while she did so, pressing a kiss to her head once she was comfortable. Rachel frowned playfully, patting her hair to make sure he didn't leave any crumbs.

"I'm not doing it," Rachel said after taking a bite of the cookie Finn had held out to her. She finished swallowing before she spoke again. "I'm not sleeping in that bed."

"I told you, Puck hardly slept in it," Finn said casually, as if that would change her mind. "We only moved in so he could start seeing Quinn. Who knew it would last this long?"

"Still, I'm not taking any chances," Rachel helped herself to a cookie, letting Finn figure out the solution for himself.

"Well, you could just sleep with me then," Finn finally said the words Rachel had been hoping to hear. "It's not like we haven't shared a bed before… you know, in a casual way."

Sure, they never shared a bed when they were roommates before, but their friendship has changed since then. Remembering your roots didn't mean moving backwards.

"I suppose that would be most logical," Rachel smiled at Finn, who was on the verge of laughing.

Rachel broke first. She fell backwards onto Finn's lap, holding her stomach as she began to laugh. Finn too began to laugh, and Rachel lost it even more.

"You're my very best friend," she said once her laughter was subsiding, her head still on his lap.

"You're mine, too," Finn said, patting her ears.

Rachel closed her eyes in contentment.

She was worried that moving in with Finn would complicate things, but so long as they always remembered they were Buddys, (and if she controlled herself), things could only change for the better.

* * *

Fame always came at a price.

Rachel always knew that, and for so long she had accepted it. She was willing to give up many things to be a star. There were many tradeoffs to stardom, Rachel understood that.

Or so she thought.

It was supposed to be just another rainy day - coffee with Finn at the café. In fact, living together made it easier to coordinate going there. It made a lot of things easier.

And being there at the cafe, in their sunglasses and hats, was just a normal thing for them. It wasn't as if they were doing anything differently that day. It was routine as usual. Everything was just the same.

Until someone had asked for their autographs.

At first, Rachel was flattered, she did, after all, love giving autographs. It wasn't until Finn had pointed out later that their fan had seen right through their so-called disguises that she realized that they were in a bit of a predicament.

But she was really naive to think that a poor disguise was their only problem.

They walked their band meeting the next day clueless as to why Blaine and the other band members were already there.

"What's going on?" Rachel smiled, taking off her coat. "Why are you guys here so early? And Blaine, we weren't scheduled to meet until later, is everything ok?"

It was silent. Rachel stared at the others, their faces unreadable.

"Finn… Rachel…" Blaine began. "We have… a bit of a problem."

"What's wrong?" Rachel took a seat. "Did Noah do something?" she turned to look at him.

"Nope, it's all you, Berry, and Finn too."

Rachel gasped. "Excuse me?" She looked at the others, hoping one of them would give her an explanation. "Does someone want to tell me what is going on?"

Finally, Blaine spoke. "Um, you two were spotted together last night at a cafe. Eyewitnesses have said… well that you two looked rather cozy together. Plus, with the fact that you guys were seen leaving together…" Blaine took a deep breath. "People think that you two are together."

* * *

**A/N: Still more to come! Thank you for reading. **


	6. Consequences

**A/N: Thank you for sticking with me on this journey. We're heading towards the end soon!**

**Italics are flashbacks - and this flashback is the last one!**

* * *

"Gossip! It's all gossip!" Rachel stood up, furious. "Who published this?"

Blaine sighed, "Jacob Ben Israel's company."

"Jacob Ben Israel? Everyone knows better than to trust the crap he writes. Everything he publishes is fake," Finn frowned, and Rachel nodded, looking at him in agreement.

"Yes, but they've managed to get a picture... and well, it's pretty convincing," Blaine said. He took out his phone and handed to Rachel, who snatched it from his grip.

She angled it so that Finn could see it as well and the two of them stared at the photo that accompanied the online article.

Blaine wasn't lying, it was convincing. More than convincing.

Did they always look like that whenever they had coffee? Was that how she really looked like whenever she was with Finn? Did her eyes always gleam that way? Their natural body language... was that how it looked like to others?

This picture was as candid as it could be, and Rachel couldn't help but to feel as if she owed the others an explanation.

"It was just coffee. And of course we were spotted leaving together – we live together," Finn justified first. "This picture... it's just a picture. And of course band members would be spotted hanging out together. I'm sure if I was hanging out Santana, people would be thinking the same thing."

"No one is blaming either of you for what happened," Kurt said reassuringly, calming Rachel down, just a bit. If Kurt wasn't angry, then that meant that he trusted them. "But still, this is something we have to deal with. If everyone thinks you two are dating - regardless of the source... well there's no doubt that it will affect our band's image."

"Hey, at least we're getting recognized. Isn't bad publicity - still good publicity?" Santana said. "I don't see what's the problem with starting a few rumors."

Rachel frowned - what was Santana implying?

"We don't want that," Finn said, and Rachel turned to look at him gratefully. "We don't want anyone to think that we're dating. It complicates things way too much."

Rachel made eye contact with him and nodded in approval. "Finn's absolutely right. Blaine – " she turned again to her publicist, "do something."

Blaine only shrugged. "Look, I can't control everything. I can't change what has happened, I'm sorry. But Santana has the right idea. We need to rethink our approach to our publicity strategy. And what I can do is help address the situation and avoid things like this from happening in the future."

"Whatever it takes," Finn said, still looking at her. Rachel found herself smiling at him, grateful that they were on the same page and were going to tackle this problem together.

"I do have an idea," Blaine spoke slowly. "And before you say anything, just hear me out. We have to make people think that you two aren't together…"

"Right." Rachel said, why Blaine was stating the obvious, she didn't know.

"And the only way to really do that is if one is seen dating someone else."

* * *

_She's at the cafe first this time. _

_Rachel shuffled through a magazine while she waited, sitting in their normal spot. The rain started early - and so the place was currently packed with New Yorkers who wanted to not only escape the rain, but also grab their morning coffee._

_She knew Finn would take a little longer to show up - he wasn't a morning person. So she was surprised to see in her peripheral vision someone take the seat across from her._

_Rachel looked up._

_It was man. But it wasn't Finn._

_"Hi," Rachel nodded politely. She was about to speak up and say that she was saving that seat and it was incredibly rude for him to presume that it was appropriate to just sit down at her table, but the man spoke first._

_"I'm Brody," the man - who was about her age - stuck out his hand. _

_Rachel ignored it._

_"I'm actually saving that seat for a friend of mine," she said curtly._

_The man - Brody - stared at the empty seat next to him. "Your friend can sit there. Look, it's crowded, and it's common courteously to share public spaces."_

_Rachel crossed her arms and huffed. She was formulating in her mind the perfect rebuttal to this man's argument before he spoke again._

_"Look, I'm sorry. It's just that, well you're really hot. A girl like you shouldn't be sitting alone."_

_Rachel was taken aback - was this Brody guy flirting with her? _

_The thought alone nearly made her laugh. It was clear to her that Brody person had nothing to offer her. Nothing. She didn't need him or his pathetic comments. _

_She was very happy with her life, thank you very much. _

_"I'm not interested. Please respect that and leave."_

_Rachel looked back down at her magazine and made no further comment. She was pleased when she looked back up and saw that Brody was no longer there._

_It was there, in that moment, that Rachel realized that didn't need Brody or any other boy in her life. She had Finn, Kurt, Santana, and Puck. It was because of them that she was loved in another way - a better way - more than what anyone else could give. And not a day went by when she felt alone._

_No, Rachel would not date in general. She would spend her time focusing on the people who mattered._

_What was mysterious though was how it was also in that moment that Finn Hudson came walking in through the doors, immediately making eye contact with her. _

_It was as if life was showing her that no one could ever offer her what Finn was already giving to her, as her Buddy._

* * *

Rachel slammed her bag into the dining table.

"Come on Rachel, we have to talk about it."

"Talk about what?" Rachel shrugged sarcastically. "How you have to date someone? How you're not even outright opposed to the idea?"

Rachel shook her head. For so long, they were on the same page when it came to addressing what had happened with the media. Why was he disagreeing with her now?

"Why wouldn't I be?" Finn walked to stand next to her, placing his hands on her shoulders. "She's famous and Blaine said that would only help the band even more. This is good for us, Rachel. Good for the band, good for me and you."

"You don't honestly believe that, do you?" Rachel challenged.

Finn squeezed her shoulders in an effort to comfort her. "Come on, we don't have a choice. We don't want people spreading rumors about us. Blaine's right, we need to control our image."

"There's got a be another way," Rachel pleaded.

She hated this idea. It was outrageous for Finn to even consider faking a relationship - or rather, hinting at it. The thought of Finn out with another girl - even on a fake date - made Rachel feel as if everything good in this world was shattering into tiny pieces of lies. He couldn't do that to himself.

"Rachel," Finn sighed. "If the roles were reversed, what would you do?

Rachel looked down, avoiding his eyes. She knew the answer. It's always been the same answer. "The band's got to come first."

"Exactly."

Rachel looked back up to meet his eyes. "But you're my Buddy."

Finn removed his hands off her shoulders. "That right, Rachel, I am your Buddy, but let's face it, that's all I am."

He smiled at her sadly before turning around to walk away from the dining room table.

* * *

Later that night, when it was time for bed, Rachel consciously placed herself as close to the edge as possible.

"Do you think I'm selfish?" Rachel asked, staring up at the ceiling when she felt the bed creek as Finn sat on the bed.

"Yeah. But you're also the most selfless person I know too. The things that you do for the others... and for me. I don't know, people don't really see that about you. But I do."

Rachel finally turned to face him. "I guess... knowing you has made be a better person." Rachel paused for a moment, staring at him - the shape of his cheeks, the curve of his nose, everything. "I hope this Marley girl knows how lucky she is," Rachel said once Finn unfolded a blanket and put it on top of her. "To be going on a date with Finn Hudson. Even if it is a fake one – most girls would jump at the mere possibility of being with you."

Finn yawned. "I don't know about that."

* * *

It was raining.

Rachel had expected this, of course. When she had saw that the weather predicted rainfall on the same day and time that Finn had his fake date, Rachel knew that their tradition was over.

She knew he couldn't come. He couldn't be photographed with another girl, only to be seen later with her - the band mate he was rumored to be dating at a coffee shop.

They had agreed, that it was best that they weren't seen alone together. Blaine had arranged for the band to have a Q&amp;A session, where Finn and Rachel themselves put down the rumors that they were dating.

They had admitted to the public the truth: that they were band mates that were just living together for convenience – and they were most certainly not dating.

And now it seemed as if the consequences kept pilling up. It was raining on the day that Finn had a "date" - and it was as if the universe was telling Rachel that there would be no more coffee runs. Not anymore.

But still, it was raining.

And some small part of her, really, really wished that he would come.

So she went over to the cafe, sat in their usual spot, and waited.

She couldn't take her mind off of the thought of him with her. Would he hold her hand? Kiss this woman? Like the way he had once kissed her?

What would he do for the sake of the press? Or worse, what if he decided he didn't want to do it for the public anymore – what if he decided he wanted to be in a real relationship?

The mere thought was tearing her up inside – her mind and heart destroyed into tiny shards. Because Finn could do it – he could do anything he wanted.

But still she sat in the café and waited, ignoring all the looks she was given for not actually purchasing anything.

She kept staring at the clock, picturing what Finn was doing every time the hands of the clocked moved. Dinner would take two hours, right? Max. Finn would be free around 9. He would come around then.

9:20 – no Finn. Of course. They would have to wait for the photographers. Perhaps walk around, for good effect. The thought made her nauseous, but Rachel knew the importance of good acting. Plus, if he were smart, he would come at least an hour after the date was officially over, just to make sure he was not being followed.

And Finn would have known from experience that by then, there wouldn't be too many people at the coffee shop anyways. They wouldn't be caught.

9:30 – her phone was officially out of battery. She supposed it wasn't a good idea to refresh her internet application for any news updates on Finn every 2 minutes or so.

Rachel slumped her head onto the table. Even if Finn had wanted to call her, she couldn't be reached. But he would know where to find her.

She had to wait. If there was even the slightest of chance that he would come, she had to know.

Rachel picked her head back up and stared at the clock by the door.

10 o'clock became 10:30, 10:30 became 11. Around 11:20 she felt someone tap her shoulder from behind.

Could it be?

Rachel turned around. It wasn't Finn. Instead it was the café's usual barista.

"You and I both know he isn't coming. Go home," he said to her.

Rachel stared at him for a moment, and the barista took her silence as an opportunity to walk away and resume his work.

It was it that obvious he wasn't coming? Rachel sat up in her seat, rationalizing to herself.

11:23.

She should go home.

It was silly of her to wait.

If the barista knew she was waiting for him, who else knew?

No, they couldn't come there anymore. Finn was right not to come.

Rachel stepped outside, feeling little drops of rain fall gently on her face. It was drizzling.

Sighing, Rachel turned to look once more at the café, not knowing when she'll be back there again.

Their tradition was broken.

And if their traditions were changing, what else would change?

Rachel didn't want to know.

* * *

It hit her the moment she opened the front door.

She would recognize the smell anywhere.

"Finn?" She called out, hope rising in her chest. At least he wasn't with Marley.

She headed toward the kitchen, and sure enough, there was Finn, already heading toward her, two mugs in his hand.

"Hey," he said, shooting her his classic crooked smile that she adored so much. Did he smile at Marley like that? Rachel prayed he didn't.

"Hi," she said. "What's that you got there?" she pointed to the mugs, knowing very well what he was holding. But still, she felt the need to ask for confirmation.

"Well you see," Finn walked past her, heading toward the kitchen table. Rachel followed. "It was raining earlier," Finn continued, placing the mugs down on the table.

"I'm aware of that," Rachel replied, taking a seat. "Still is, well… kind of. It's drizzling."

"Right," Finn took the seat next to her. "And I don't know if you know this or not, but I kind of need coffee every time it rains. It's like my brain automatically associates coffee with rain, like a Palonian thing.

"Pavlov. Conditioning," Rachel corrected him.

"Yeah that," Finn leaned in. "You see, I've been having coffee on rainy days for a long time now. It's hard to imagine a rainy day without it. The problem was that I couldn't get it from the place where I usually get it, so I had to make adjustments."

Finn slid one of the mugs toward her.

Rachel wrapped her hands around the mug, noting that it wasn't buring hot. She took a sip, assuming that Finn knew how she liked her coffee.

He did.

"It tastes exactly like the café!" she exclaimed, amazed.

"Did you know they sell coffee beans there?" Finn smiled. "Bought some earlier this week, when I found out it was forecasted to rain today, along with all the things you need to, you know, make your own coffee."

Her heart started warming up, perhaps from the coffee, Rachel placed her hand on his forearm. "Finn…"

"And, just to make sure I did it right. I had the barista help me make it earlier in the week when you were out. Still, it took me a long time to actually make it by myself."

Rachel drew back, surprised. "What?"

"In fact," Finn said slowly. "The barista was the one that I called not too long ago when I realized that the reason why you weren't texting me back was because your phone probably died."

"You knew I was there," Rachel said softly.

Finn tore his gaze from her, instead focusing on his own mug. "I would have gone, Rachel, but I couldn't -"

"I know," Rachel inched toward the end of her seat, gently tilting his face back up so he could look her in the eyes. "I know you couldn't."

"But I couldn't let this tradition end, Rachel. And I know this isn't exactly right - "

"Shhhh," she placed her hand on his cheek. "It's perfect. This is everything we need. You, me, coffee, water falling from the sky. That's it. Our tradition goes on."

Finn smiled and turned his head so that his lips touched the palm of her hand, kissing it.

Suddenly feeling nervous at his touch, Rachel quickly removed her hand and cleared her throat. "So how was your date?"

Finn shrugged nonchalantly. "It was okay – Marley's cool, I guess."

Rachel placed her hand her chest. "What did you guys do?"

"We just sorta hung out," Finn said rather awkwardly. "She's just doing this to help her image too," he defended.

Rachel nodded, but still she needed to know more. She paused before she spoke again. "How did it feel like? Being with her?"

Finn furrowed his brow. "What do you mean?"

Rachel knew what she was asking. She didn't know if it was her place to ask, but she had to know what that date meant to him, only to stop herself from making any assumptions, good or bad. She needed to know how he felt. "Did you feel anything when you were with her?"

"Nothing," Finn chuckled. "Total decaf." He took a sip of his coffee.

Rachel internally sighed in relief, a smile forming on her face despite herself.

"Marley asked about you – she wondered if we were actually dating," Finn spoke again.

Rachel's heart started beating faster. "What did you say?"

"I told her we were best friends. She didn't believe me."

"And you said…?" Rachel pressed on.

"I said I couldn't blame her," Finn replied, honestly.

Rachel closed her eyes. It was time for her to admit at least one thing to herself. It was so easy to dance around with Finn, to push the limits of their friendship. There were times when didn't know how far she could push it - or whether it was right of her to do so. But Rachel knew what she had to do. She had to be his friend before anything else. And that meant not getting of Finn's happiness.

Rachel opened her eyes, Finn's bright, concerning face staring back at her as she spoke. "Look, I know things are changing, and we can't be this way forever, but I want you to know that I won't stand in your way…"

"Rachel -"

Rachel took a deep breath, summoning all the courage within her to say what she needed to say "If being with Marley, or anyone else makes you happy… then as your Buddy, I will support you."

Finn looked at her, as if he couldn't wrap his mind around what she was saying.

"Rachel," Finn placed his hands on top of hers. "I felt nothing with I was with her. Nothing." He squeezed her hands. "I don't think I'm going to see her – or anyone again. You see, until either of us finds someone that makes us feel something even remotely close to what we have... I'm fine just the way we are, right now."

"But-"

Finn stood up and came around the table to kneel next to her. "No buts," he gently placed his hands on both sides of her face to reassure her.

Rachel wasn't done yet. Rachel shook her head and rested her own hands by his face too. "But I need you to know this. After everything that's been happening, I need you to know that being your Buddy and having you as mine… well it means everything to me. Everything. Even after all this time, it still does."

* * *

Weeks go by and the rumors pass.

It had seemed that Finn's one and only "date" with Marley had done it's job in deflecting the story about Finn and Rachel away from the media. It wasn't long before Marley was seen numerous time with a soloist - Ryder Lynn, up to point where Finn was no longer associated with her at all (or in other words, the media forgot that Marley and Finn were ever a thing).

Still, Blaine said it was the right thing to do - they needed to get their name out and dispel any internal rumors.

And to prove that he was right, it wasn't long before they get contracted to go on tour as an opening act for the Mercedes Jones on her 3 month tour.

It's the most exciting thing to have ever happened to them. There's nothing quite like seeing hundreds of people cheer for you, night after night. And it's like hearing this applause night after night made every long night, every tossed song drafts, every hardship and every sacrifice worth it.

And the best part was that she was doing it with the band.

It wasn't easy being on the road for weeks, especially without the comfort of their home. But to Rachel, the entire experience was beyond fulfilling. Moving city to city back to back motivated her beyond measure – even if it did mean living out of a tour bus for weeks.

Being in such close proximity to everyone reminder Rachel of the days when the entire band lived together.

It was, in other words, chaos.

She would wake up with Puck trying to get whip cream on Kurt while he was asleep, with Santana mocking Puck every time he spoke to Quinn, and with Finn trying to resolve everything.

But she wouldn't have it any other way.

The hard part was trying to keep with "tradition" whenever it rained.

Finn had packed the coffee machines and beans so that they always had them ready in case it rained.

The problem was that the others started using their coffee supplies for their own sake, almost to a point where Rachel was worried whether or not there would be enough to last, although Finn reassured her that he had packed enough.

Yet it was hard for it to be just the two of them anymore whenever it did rain. Privacy was just nonexistent. So, more often than not, the others would join in and chat with them.

Still, she didn't mind, and neither did Finn.

She could just tell, just by the look on his face, that Finn Hudson was happy. She could understand it – the small town boy from Lima Ohio going out traveling all across the country.

In fact, all of them were happy. Change was good.

And Rachel's glad that all of the choices she's made in her life had led to her being a witness of this genuine happiness.

There was no way life could bless them with any more ounces of happiness. It wasn't her place to ask for more.

* * *

Kurt's dad, Burt, starts dating Finn's mom, Carole.

They meet during the band's welcome back dinner a few nights after their tour finished.

In fact, Kurt was the one to set them one.

"Dude, are you sure it's a good idea to set them up together?" Finn asked Kurt when Rachel and Finn pulled him aside after a band meeting. "I mean, my mom lives in Ohio and your dad in Washington D.C. It's hard. And what if they break up? Wouldn't that be awkward for the band?"

Kurt smiled at Finn, as if the answer was obvious. "Finn, do you love your mother?"

Finn stared at Kurt. "Of course I do."

"And you want her to be happy?"

Kurt had a skill, Rachel had to admit.

"Yeah but-"

"Then there's no buts. As unstylish and uncultured as my father is, I love him, and I'm not going to deny him any opportunity to be happy." And with that, the discussion was over.

Finn turned to Rachel. "What do you think?"

Rachel placed her hand on her forehead, thinking about what had just occurred. "There's no rules against it, but still there is a risk. I guess we'll just have to wait and see."

Rachel hated uncertainty.

* * *

Weeks later, Burt and Carole get engaged.

Thrilled, Kurt took it upon himself to plan the entire wedding.

Finn's shocked, to say the least. She would be moving to D.C to be with Burt, and it seemed as if everything was changing all at once. Still he was happy for her. He told Rachel this one night while they prepped the guest room (Puck's old room, technically her room) the week of the wedding. Carole would be staying at their apartment until the big day.

"So, I suppose I can just sleep on the couch until then," Finn said once the apartment was all cleaned and ready for their guest.

Rachel gasped.

"Nonsense, it's your mom's wedding. You sleep in your room. I'll take the couch," Rachel said, already starting to bring the appropriate beddings to the couch.

Finn laughed and followed her. "There's no way my mom would let you sleep on the couch. She adores you, you know?" Finn beamed at her, and Rachel bit back a smile. Rachel admired Carole, and she was glad that Carole liked her as well. She was worried that Finn's mother might have responded badly to the tabloid from before, but as it turned out, Carole couldn't care less.

"I would say just sleep with me, like we normally do, but I don't want your mom getting any ideas or asking any questions," Rachel chewed on her lip.

"Well…" Finn shot her a playful smile and placed the bedding on the couch. "We could sneak around. I could pretend to be sleeping on the couch. And then, when my mom goes to sleep, we could just go to bed together, same as usual. She sleeps early anyways, so she'll never know."

Rachel paused, thinking long and hard about Finn's offer. She mentally prepared a list of pros and cons. It was, of course, risky to "sneak around," but on the other hand, she would sleep better with Finn next to her, and she really doesn't want anyone sleeping on the couch. Plus she did miss the thrill of it. She decided to take a chance.

"Okay."

* * *

They get caught a few days later.

"How did you sleep last night?" Carole asked Rachel one morning from the dining table while Finn was out on a run.

"Great," Rachel stretched before taking a seat next to Carole. "You?"

"Pretty good," Carole smiled. "Although, I did get thirsty in the middle of the night, so I did have to get up to grab a cup of water."

"Really? I do that too, sometimes," Rachel grabbed piece of fruit from the center bowl, not catching Carole's tone of voice.

"Yeah, it was interesting though. When I went out of your room, I expected to find my son fast asleep on the couch. You can image how surprised I was when I saw he wasn't there."

Rachel froze, nearly dropping her fruit. "Oh… well… " Rachel was conflicted. Should she lie and say that Finn was out somewhere? Or does she tell the truth? No, she was not going to lie to Finn's mother, of all people.

"He was with me," she admitted, setting the piece of fruit down.

Carole playfully raised an eyebrow at her.

Feeling like she needed to explain herself, Rachel spoke again. "Finn's my best friend. I didn't want him sleeping on the couch. So we agreed to share a bed – as friends though."

Carole nodded. "I see."

"I'm being honest."

"I know. It's just a shame," Carole sighed. "All a mother wants is to see her son be with the women he loves, wholeheartedly."

Rachel stared at Carole, puzzled. "Finn and I have a great relationship right now," she said to her Carole, because that's what she's been telling herself for almost two years.

"You know, Rachel," Carole said slowly. "I never pegged you as a girl who would just settle."

Rachel was stunned. She was part of one of the top rising bands in the country. She toured around the nation and had people cheering for her and her talent. She had so much, to even think about wanting more would make her greedy.

"I don't understand what you mean…"

"I get what you're coming from, though. For so long, I was settling too. I was okay with being a single mom, because falling in love always put Finn at risk - we were a package deal. I learned that the hard way. There's no way that I would do anything that would affect the ones I loved."

Rachel nodded - she resonated a lot with what Carole telling her.

Carole leaned forward as she continued. "But what if it did work out? What if, for once, everything worked out? I could have everything I always wanted – one happy family... and Rachel, here I am, about to get it. But you see, this never could have happened if I had no to Burt. If I had said no to love."

Rachel was silent, absorbing everything Carole had just told her. In that silence, Carole spoke again. "Rachel, when was the last time you allowed yourself to feel?"

"I- I…" Rachel placed her hand on her chest, needing to hold onto something. "I don't know."

She doesn't. Does she? The only thing that came into her head was the night that she kissed Finn. But… but…

"You've been suppressing your feelings, haven't you? Or at least, you've been complicating everything. You know what, Rachel? Life is really simple in the end. Whatever you're feeling, don't hold it back."

Closing her eyes, Rachel listened to everything. From the sound of the streets, the chirping of the birds... to the tumbling of the dryer… the voice inside her head… to the silent plea of her heart.

She focused more on the stir that was occurring in her heart, only for her to realize it was screaming. It had been for awhile.

Finally, she listened.

It's amazing what can happen when you have a revelation, when you let go of everything you've been holding in, what you've been denying yourself.

She's had a similar one before – the day she kissed Finn. And Carole's words echo Santana's. But Rachel didn't listen then. She was too ignorant.

But not anymore.

It's as if everything was different, like the world has been reset, and everything made sense - Rachel a sense of clarity unlike any other. The world was lighter - life was kind and giving. It was in that moment that Rachel noticed everything about what Finn meant to her and how she really felt whenever she was with him.

Like the way her heart would beat faster at the sight of him. How her eyes would always search deep into his. Or like how every touch would send chills up and down her body, with every sensation feeling so new yet so familiar.

It came to her all at once, like a spark ignition that started something that would burn on through the ages.

In her first epiphany, Rachel saw Finn - the possibilities. In her second, she understood everything.

The pieces of the puzzles that was her emotions were finally all put together. And was it only truly now that she saw the real completed picture. And seeing it was like discovering your true self.

Rachel knew what this was.

It was something that lasted.

"Carole..." Rachel finally spoke. "I think I'm in love with your son."

"I think so too."

Rachel closed her eyes. Despite her realization, the logical part of her brain wasn't gone. There were so many "what ifs" that could not be ignored. "But, the band-"

Carole placed her hands on top of Rachel's. "There's always a risk – in anything you do. At the end of the day, it is whether or not the risk is worth it."

Rachel took a deep breath. It was a lot to take in.

What did she want? She wanted what she's always wanted – for the band to succeed – for all their dreams to come true. But she wanted more than that – she wanted to act on her feelings properly. She wanted to love Finn endlessly, with no boundaries.

Could she have them both?

For so long, she thought the answer was no. It was too risky.

But now she knew - something that lasted forever couldn't possibly be a risk.

No, this was a special kind of love. It was raw, passionate, breathtaking... and yet above all, it was constant – always dependable, always consistent.

And finally, Rachel understood. The undying love she had for Finn was forever.

There would be no nasty breakup. There would be no taking sides.

And she knew this because, well, she knew Finn better than anyone. He was her Buddy. No one else could ever compare.

So there was no doubt about it: Finn was worth it.

She was ready to give everything and anything to show him.

She couldn't make the mistake she made the first time around.

* * *

**A/N: Hmm, what does Rachel have planned? **


	7. Proof

Rachel loved spring. She loved the thought of nature blooming - like something new coming into being.

And something new was definitely coming into being in Rachel's life. Or was it something old that seemed new?

You see, everything's different when you realize you're in love.

Perhaps the most striking change that Rachel noticed was that the world moved differently. There was a new rhythm in life that was creating a new tune, a new melody.

Rachel sat in her chair, watching Burt and Carole dance their first dance as husband and wife. It was a beautiful, late spring wedding. That was what love looked like, she was sure.

She tore her gaze off of the couple to look at someone else: Finn. Rachel found herself smiling at the sight of him. She watched as he swayed left and right on his chair, his foot tapping along to the beat of the instrumental song.

As if he could sense her staring, Finn turned his head to make eye contact with her. And there was no doubt about it – Rachel Berry was in love with Finn Hudson.

There was only one problem about it – she didn't know how to tell him.

How do you tell your best friend, your band mate, whom you explicitly said you could not date, that you were whole-heartedly, uncontrollably, and completely in love with him?

Would he believe her? Would he feel the same?

Rachel's entire perspective of life had changed when Rachel realized she was in love. Would their friendship change too?

No, she would not think about that. Rachel had to tell him regardless– because with every second that passed… well it was if her heart was about to come out of her chest and proclaim to the entire universe - all of space and all of time – that she was in love with her Buddy.

The real problem was: how would she tell him.

Before she knew it, the song came to and end and Rachel focused her attention back to the newlywed couple, clapping her hands appropriately.

At the request of their parents, Kurt and Finn stood up and joined them for a family photo.

It dawned on Rachel right there and then that Finn and Kurt were connected for life as brothers. They're relationship was beyond just being friends or band members. They were a part of a new family.

And when Rachel really thought it about it, these people – Finn, Kurt, Santana, and even Puck were more than just band mates to her. Somewhere along the way, they had become family to her too. They found something special together, something beyond just the band itself.

That was why for so long, she told herself she couldn't do anything that would jeopardize their band.

But she couldn't lie to herself anymore. She didn't know what would happen once she confessed to the world that she was in love with one of her bandmates.

And yet for once, Rachel was hopeful. There had to be a solution to all this.

Rachel needed to think very carefully about what to do. Too many things were at stake here. She had two main tasks ahead of her.

First of all, she needed to tell Finn she loved him. See, Finn deserved more than just those three words. He deserved nothing but the best proclamation of love in existence. So in others words, it had to be epic. She needed to find a way to show him how much she really did love him. He had to know the true extent of what she felt, because that was her best chance of getting him to feel the same.

Secondly, assuming Finn indeed love as much as she did him, she needed to deal with the band. They would be breaking band rule 14: band members were not allowed to date other band members.

Of course, the easiest way to do so would be to propose an amendment during a band meeting – most conventionally during the next election for band leader – which they had already scheduled for several weeks down the road. It was blatantly obvious that she and Finn would re-elected again, given the incredible progress that their band made under their leadership, so that would be the perfect day to do it.

Now, she just needed unanimous votes to amend the rule.

Which meant that she had to target it each and every one of them and convince them to vote to repeal that band rule.

Puck would be easiest to convince. She could bribe him with dino nuggets when it was her turn to host the band dinner.

Santana might be swayed. Rachel recalled Santana's talk with her that night she first kissed Finn. She wouldn't be opposed, right? Perhaps they could talk it over a few drinks.

Kurt was the one she was most concerned for. She didn't know how he would react, especially given her reaction to his confession that he was in love with Blaine. No, Kurt would require the most work to persuade. Maybe she could have Finn work on him, Kurt couldn't deny his own brother, right?

She had time – they wouldn't vote for a few more weeks, plenty of time to plan.

Besides, Finn had to say yes first.

"Why the long face?" Rachel heard a voice – Finn was standing right next to her, his face concerned. In her plotting, she had zoned out. The party was dispersed all around the room now.

"I'm just thinking," she said.

"About what?"

Rachel looked at him. As much as she wanted to tell him everything, she couldn't. She had to wait a little longer, this type of confession shouldn't be rushed, especially when so many things were on the line.

"The band," she replied.

Finn took the seat next to her. "Oh yeah, we're supposed to perform in a bit, after the bouquet toss." Finn turned his head toward the stage, where the DJ was playing music.

"You know, I would have never had thought that Kurt would get a DJ for our parents' wedding," Finn said, looking over at Kurt, who was shimmying on the dance floor. "But I suppose it was because he didn't want us performing the entire time."

Rachel watched as more people joined the dance floor. Santana was next to her girlfriend, Brittany, whom Santana had finally introduced to them. Puck and Quinn were also dancing, although it seemed as if they were talking in hushed voices. Were they the next ones to get married? Rachel nearly laughed at the thought - Puck, with his bad boy persona, being the first one to settle down - how ironic.

Who would be next? Rachel couldn't help but to picture her own wedding...

"I don't know which one I would want to have," Rachel continued to stare at Finn, still amazed that he looked that handsome everyday. "A band, or a DJ?"

Finn smirked. "Please, it's obvious. You would want to sing the entire time."

Rachel laughed. "True," she admitted before biting her lip, not helping herself. The question was begging to be asked. "What about you?"

Finn leaned forward closer to her and Rachel felt her breath hitch. "You see, that's an easy answer, too." Finn looked into her eyes and shrugged. "I'd choose whatever the bride wants. It's like the number one rule of being a groom."

Finn stood up then, and Rachel blinked several times, her heart pounding at his answer. Finn stuck out his hand. "Want to dance with me?"

Rachel stared at him, wanting nothing more than to take that hand for the rest of her life.

The problem was that she couldn't trust herself to keep it at a dance. Now that she was in love, she wanted nothing more than to just grab his face and kiss him endlessly. But she couldn't do that here, at his mom's wedding, in front of everyone, and especially not before he knew how she really felt about him.

Timing was everything.

She's saved though, by Finn's aunt, who takes whisks Finn away. Rachel managed to mouth "sorry" to him before the two disappear onto the dance floor.

Rachel sighed in relief. She needed to plan her confession quickly, otherwise she would blurt it out. Rachel Berry did nothing less than extraordinary, which included confessing to the love of her life that she wanted him forever.

Moreover, this would be her first proclamation of such love ever. It had to be the best.

She spent most of the remainder of the wedding in her chair, running through plan after plan in her mind. Finn would try his best to come over, but every time some relative would steal him away, thankfully.

However, before she knew it, she was being pushed onto the middle of dance floor by Kurt and Santana.

Looking around, Rachel realized she was surrounded by other women. Shaking her head, Rachel took several steps back away from them. Of course, it was time for the bouquet toss.

She watched as Carole went up on the stage, ready to toss the beautiful spring flowers. One..two… three… the bouquet went up the air…

And landed in her arms.

Rachel's taken aback for a moment, only vaguely hearing Santana and Kurt cheering in the back.

Her eyes sought Finn, and find him by Puck, who was making an inappropriate face. Still, she wasn't focused on Noah – she was focused the smile that was on the gorgeous man standing next to him.

And she couldn't help it, she pulled the flowers to her face to hide her blush, pretending to smell it. She was thankful that Finn and Kurt argued against there being a garter at the wedding, with neither of them wanting to see their parents taking it off in the first place. Otherwise, well she wouldn't think about who would catch that.

But the clapping died down not too long after and the band was called up to perform.

Rachel started to place the on the bouquet on the nearby table before she felt a hand stop her. She looked up to see Finn smiling brightly at her.

"Wait," he said before he plucked a small flower from the bouquet and tucked it into her hair. "Perfect."

* * *

Finn was not helping himself.

The man was distracting.

It was as if everything little thing he did made Rachel fall in love with him even more. It wasn't as if Finn was doing anything differently – he was being his usual self. It was her that was seeing everything differently. She was seeing in real time why it was that she was in love with him in the first place.

The fact that they lived and worked together made things very difficult. It took every strength Rachel had not to kiss him good night every night and good morning every morning. Additionally, she also had to make sure the other band members weren't suspicious of her affections just yet. While the bickering had stopped since the tour, they still couldn't give them any reason to panic – Rachel had to convince them first.

But Rachel was strong, she made it this far, she was not going to cave in just yet. She was determined to give Finn the best 'I love you' possible. He was worth it. This drive certainly helped whenever Rachel felt the desire to rip Finn's clothes off when he played the drums or whenever she felt like pulling him closer to her when they slept at night. No, her mind was occupied planning.

She had to prove to him that she was serious this time.

And finally, it came to her late one night.

Of course, the answer was obvious. She had to write him a song that expressed everything she felt about him and what he meant to her.

It wasn't going to be easy; she had never written a song without Finn's help. But she knew that the best songs are inspired by the deepest of emotions. She could do it.

She knew when she would sing it too. The band had an upcoming special performance in Lima, Ohio – Finn and Puck's hometown. In fact, they were going to their high school, now turned performing arts school. And to make things even better, that day would fall on the 2nd year anniversary of the first time they met at the coffee shop.

Oh where did the time go? It all happened so fast. She still remembered that day so well and she's sure Finn would appreciate the thought of it too. He would her hear song, be so moved that every note was for him, and love her back, she just knew it.

Plus, the timing would be perfect – since it was already close to the day when they were scheduled to have their re-elections, Rachel could just bump up the date to the day after – she had the power to do so and she was going to use it. It wouldn't be a dramatic bump.

Besides, the song was also the perfect way to convince the others that her feelings were genuine and that them being together wouldn't affect the band at all.

She had some time to plan it all. First, she would have to write and compose it. Then, she needed to figure out the logistics of it – in that she would need the other's help to play it, but she couldn't have them be suspicious of it. And most of, Finn could never know.

Rachel had her work cut out for her, she knew. Rachel turned on her side to look at Finn, peacefully asleep in bed.

Praying that he wouldn't wake up, she gently caressed his cheek and brought her nose to the top of his head, softly placing a kiss on top of his forehead.

She held her breath as Finn stirred, but he did not wake up. She exhaled in relief. Oh how she longed for the day when she could do this and more any time she wanted.

For now, she would have to wait and plan.

Rachel closed her eyes. She loved being his best friend, and it's reassuring to know that he will would always be that, but she knew she would love it even more if she was something more.

Writing the song itself turned out to be easier than she had thought. She had so much emotion bottled up inside of her, and several tears of joy were shed in writing it. The hardest part was trying to write it without Finn.

It helped that she knew Finn better than anyone. For example, she knew what time he usually woke up, so she would wake up early to write and hide it just before he woke up. She knew when he liked to work out, hang out with Puck, and well, essentially anything concerned with leaving the house.

Rachel was truly proud of herself for making great progress.

Until Santana ruined everything.

She was just about to tell Santana, Kurt, and Puck about "this new song brought to her by an anonymous songwriter" after one of their band meeting when Santana informed the entire band that she could no longer attend their event in Ohio - Brittany had surprised with tickets to Hawaii for that week and they were set to arrive back late the night of the event.

Fine, Rachel could not let herself get discouraged. She was a problem solver, right?

Okay, she didn't even really need Santana. She could convince Santana on her own time, and besides, she had the others.

So she proceeded to tell Kurt and Puck individually and in secret about the song, reassuring them that she had already told everyone (including Finn) about it and everyone approved of the song.

To her delight (and relief), Kurt loved it. Puck couldn't care less.

It was all going perfectly – Rachel could see it all now. She would sing the song at the event. Finn - clueless of it all - would realize it's for him, return the feelings. She would have him follow her to some private place where they would finally get together. Then, come elections, Rachel would announce to the band that she's the anonymous songwriter and that the song was for Finn. They would be so moved by her talent and the love between the two of them that they would have no choice but to approve.

Yes, it was all going perfectly.

Until Puck announced that he too would no longer be able to attend.

Apparently, he had a doctor's appointment he absolutely could not miss.

This could not be happening.

Rachel groaned, wanting to throw the pencil she had in her hand at the wall. She needed to rearrange everything now that it was just Kurt and her.

Ah, but Kurt had experience with acapella. She would have to just do that. That sort of style was romantic, right?

Finally, it was the day before the event. They would come to Ohio a day earlier and stay over night since the event took place early in the morning the next day.

She and Finn were already at the train station to head when they get the call from Kurt.

Who tells them he's sick and can't come.

* * *

They obviously can't perform anymore.

Instead they talk to these high school kids about the importance of the arts and following their dreams, because hey, if they can make it, anyone can.

And Rachel plastered on a smile, answered questions, and even sampled a couple of lines of their songs for them. But inside, she's broken. Today was supposed to be the day – now everything was in flames and pieces.

How would she confess it to him now? She needed Finn to believe her. She needed the others to believe her too. Performing the song with the others today was supposed to be the best way to prove it.

Now she had to think of another plan.

Once the event is over, Rachel stormed outside the high school, huffing to herself when she realized she was getting soaked.

It was raining. Hard summer rain. The world was laughing at her.

Of course she was wearing a white summer dress on the day it rains. She was so preoccupied with the song that she didn't even think to check the weather conditions.

Still she kept walking – the rental car was a bit far. When she got there, she rested her back against the car, waiting for Finn, hoping that he would see the tears that were running down her face and think it was just the rain.

She's about to scream at the world –

Before a voice called out her name.

"Rachel," he yelled from a distance and Rachel watched as he headed her way. The rain beginning to soak him as well. "What the hell?" he said once he reached.

She doesn't look at him. How could she? This day was ruined. "Let's just go back to the hotel." Their train wasn't until later in the evening. She had time to lie in self-pity. And then she would try again – maybe at the next band performance. Then, they would have everyone – and it would be perfect.

"No," Finn took ahold of her wrists. "You don't think I've been noticing how different you've been acting? And not just today. Something has been bothering you for awhile now."

She's silent.

"We used to tell each other everything. But ever since my mom's wedding, you've been keeping things to yourself," Finn said confidently, because he knew her better than anyone. Rachel hadn't even considered how her planning would affect their friendship.

She finally looked at him. His eyes were demanding. He needed an answer right there and then.

Because their friendship was the foundation of their relationship. She could never forget that.

This wasn't the time or place that she had pictured. This wasn't the way she had planned. But it wasn't about just her anymore. He needed to know everything, right now.

"I'm angry, Finn," she breathed out, the tears welling up in her eyes.

Finn placed his hand on her face, wiping her tears, his demeanor now changed. "Why are you angry?"

"I'm angry at the band. For getting us into this position in the first place. And I'm angry at the world, because I just wanted everything to be perfect, Finn. Perfect! And I'm angry at myself, because I haven't been giving you deserve. "

"Shh… shh…" Finn pulled her close to comfort her. But it only caused her to cry more, because he's Finn and she just felt so much for him. "I take it that it's more than just them ditching us today."

Finn Hudson was too good. He had a talent for making her feel safe enough to let her thoughts be set free.

"Of course it's about us," she pulled away from his embrace so she could look at him. "I don't want to do it anymore. I don't want to keep pretending."

She swallowed any doubt she had during the past two years and continued on.

"I'm done pretending that our friendship is enough. Because as much as our friendship means to me, you mean more to me than that. So much more. It's you that means everything to me. I want you. I want all of you."

She smiled at Finn, reaching now to brush away the raindrops that were falling on his face, using it as an excuse to touch him.

"I love you, Finn. More than I could possibly love anything else. More than fame, more than the band, more than any stupid rule."

And seeing that look on his face was better than any applause or any moment in the spotlight.

"You love me?" Finn said softly.

"I do," she pressed her forehead against his. "And I've known for awhile now. Well, I think I've always known, I just accepted it more recently. I love you so, so much that I wanted to do something epic when I told you. Which is also why I'm crying because I just want it to be perfect because -"

She's about ready to go on and on about how much she loved him, but her monologue was interrupted with Finn's lips on hers.

Oh how fulfilling it was to be kissing Finn Hudson again for the second time in her life. It was if her heart, mind, and body were asking her how she made it this long without kissing him again. And every fiber of her being was begging her never to go that long again. Because now there was no doubt, she's home.

He pulled away for the briefest of moments before Rachel kissed him again. When she did, she smiled as she felt his lips smiling.

In that moment, Rachel couldn't care less about the rain that continued to pour them, about the possibility of the press catching them, or even the band rule that band members could not date each other.

Rachel Berry was kissing Finn Hudson. Everything was finally right in the world.

Finally they pulled apart. And as much she enjoyed kissing them, she knew it wouldn't be long before she did it again.

Finn brushed his nose against hers as he pulled her close to him.

"Don't you see. This, this right here, you and me… it's as epic as it could get. I'm here with you, Rachel. I'm hearing those words from you."

"You deserved the best confession – "

"That's exactly what I got. And you know something else? I love you too. So much that I could wait forever for you - for us. Rachel… I… I had no doubt that this is where we would be. But I guess, our time it's finally here."

Rachel beamed at him. Her loved her back. "It's our time," she repeated.

"It is." And he kissed her again.

This was happiness unlike anything else she had ever felt before. She had so much love to give him she didn't know where to begin. "I want to prove it to you. I want to prove to our fellow band members - no wait… the entire world that this love is strong and can last through anything," Rachel exclaimed dramatically.

"Oh yeah, band rule #14," Finn scrunched his nose and pulled her tighter and kissed the top of her head. "We can always amend it at elections."

She smiled and hugged him tighter. That was the easiest solution and was the exact same one she had originally pictured. But there had to be more she could do to express the truth depth of her love.

"But we would have to get unanimous approval," Finn continued on. "And then we'd have to deal with the press. Some people might think we're only doing it for publicity."

Rachel nodded. These were her exact concerns. Would her song be enough to convince the others? The truth is, she would never be 100% certain they would.

"But I don't care about that. I only care about you and I," Finn said. Rachel believed him. "I meant what I said. I would have waited. Until the band retired or something. Even if we were old – I would have waited to date you after, if I had to, so we wouldn't break the rules."

Rachel knew he would. She felt it deep in her heart. But she didn't want that for him – for them.

"Regardless of what the rule says, us being together wouldn't tear the band apart," she said.

It wouldn't. It couldn't. Something this beautiful would not do that. Love was strength.

Because the only way that would happen was if they fell out of love. And that would never happen. There was only 2 things Rachel had never been more sure of anything in her life. The first being that Finn Hudson was her very best friend. The second being that they would be in love forever.

Rachel nestled herself to the crook of his neck. "You're stuck with me now. There's no going back."

"Hate to break it you, Rachel, but I've stuck with you for awhile now. You're my Buddy forever, remember? As I far I remember, that nickname represents everything that we mean to each other. Now, there's just no boundaries, no limits - we kiss and do other stuff that couple do," Finn said. Rachel looked up at him to see him wiggling his eyebrows. Rachel only kissed him in response, her kiss telling him that yes, she was excited to do that with him too.

"How do I prove it to you?" she said again when they broke apart, still clutching on to him in the rain.

"You don't need to prove anything to me. I know how you feel because it's exactly how I feel," Finn laughed at her. "But you know, a few more kisses are always nice."

Rachel kissed him again. Kissing was a good place to start, but she wanted to do more. "I told you. I want to show that we're forever. I'm going to love you forever."

She squealed as Finn picked her up and twirled her around. "I know, Rachel. I'm going to love you forever too," Finn said, gently putting her back down. Rachel was so happy, she couldn't even feel the rain anymore.

Rachel wrapped her arms around him again, doing that kept her steady in the midst of all these emotions. "Then let's do something about it! Because I feel so much for you. So much. I… I can't contain it. I have to do something!"

Finn's silent for a moment and Rachel could tell he was thinking, which she appreciated. Finally, he answered, looking her in the eyes. "Well there's one thing I really, really wanna do with you. It requires another addition to our already large definition of Buddy, but I think it would solve a lot of our problems too."

"I'll do it. Anything," Rachel said firmly.

Finn took her hand and placed it on top of his heart. Ignoring the soaked cloth pressed to his chest, she could feel it beat for her. "You could marry me," he said.

Rachel blinked. "You want to get married?"

Million of thoughts about what would happen if they got married began to form in Rachel's head.

And the past two years go by in her head, and then something dawned on her. The past two years were preparing her for this exact moment.

See, they have never done things conventionally. They made their own definitions of what was a date and what wasn't. They tested the rules time and time again without breaking them. They found success and built dreams because of one another. They had their own traditions, their own secrets to keep safe.

And on this sentimental journey, they fell in love - every moment led them here.

"I do," Finn answered. "Because to me, there's nothing more permanent than that." Finn went down on one knee, his leg landing in puddle of rain. "Rachel Berry – my Buddy, will you marry me?"

She's crying again, this time out of pure joy and love. "Yes. Yes, Buddy, I will marry you."

Rachel pulled him up quickly so she could kiss him: their first kiss as an engaged couple. She realized then that couldn't wait until their first kiss as husband and wife.

She really couldn't.

She waited enough.

"Let's get married today," she begged him. "I don't want to wait. Let's start our forever today."

It was Finn's turn to beam to her, and she knew he ready just as much as she was. "Okay then. Rachel Berry, will you marry me today?"

"Gladly."

* * *

Everything was coming into place.

The thing about Ohio is that there's no waiting period after getting a marriage license. Plus, the town of Lima is so small that they didn't have to make any appointments early in advance.

Finn also said that the town tiny, so their chances of being spotted were minimal. But even if they were caught, the news traveled so slowly in Lima that anything they did wouldn't go public until tomorrow.

So today was all theirs.

They buy the rings at the closest jewelry store before they deal with all the legal aspects of getting married. But before that, Rachel asked Finn if they could stop by and buy towels to dry off – his and her couple towels to be specific.

And later they go inside the courthouse, their hairs wet from the rain, wearing their towels like a coat, to get married.

It's almost unreal to her – signing the paper work, sliding the ring onto Finn's left finger. It's a contract forever binding.

But it's only when she's saying her vows that she knew this was real, not a dream.

"Finn Hudson, you're my best friend. You made it so easy to fall in love you, and as stubborn as I am, I'm surrendering to love and happiness. And I think it's the best decision I could ever make. Because all my dreams started to come true once I met you, and I want nothing more than to share all our successes and failures together as man and wife."

"Rachel Berry, you're my Buddy. You taught me to dream big. You showed me that you and I were a part of something special. And I wouldn't change anything that happened in the last two years. Because you were right there next to me through every cup of coffee, every midnight, every cookie, and it means so much to me to know that you'll continue to be there forever. And I'm excited. I'm excited to see where this journey of life will take us."

Their first kiss as husband and wife was probably her most favorite kiss of them all.

Remarkably, it's still raining when they step outside the courthouse, their hearts full of glee.

"Care to dance, Mrs. Hudson?" Finn asked.

"I'd love to, dearest husband," Rachel giggled as he smiled and spun her around.

"Dancing in the rain," she sighed against his chest. "How romantic."

"Did anyone ever tell you that you that the rain looks good on you?" Finn asked.

Rachel laughed. "Someone did. Two years ago."

"Some things never change," he said before dipping her down, kissing her hard.

He lifted her back up and proceeded to sway with her. "You know, you told me that you would sing at your wedding," Finn said.

Rachel looked up at him. "I did, didn't I?" she smiled, leaning up to kiss him again and again and again, because she could.

"It is our first dance as husband and wife, I think we need some music." He leaned down to kiss her.

She smiled even bigger, if that was possible. "I know a song. I was going to sing to my beloved today, but my band cancelled on me."

"Oh really? Well I'd love to hear you sing it."

And there, dancing in the rain, she proceeded to sing the song she had wrote to her husband.

It's better than she could have ever pictured.

Time escaped from them, however, and before they know it, it was almost time to catch their train. Since there was no way she was going to consummate their marriage via a quickie in the hotel room (as tempting as it was), they agreed to have their first time at their home in New York – it would be more special that way.

She really wanted to head straight home from the train station, but her stomach did not agree. They hadn't eaten anything in hours.

Finn suggested that they go to café – because even though it wasn't raining in New York, it did rain in Ohio, and they absolutely needed to get coffee and cranberry scones, perhaps a cookie.

It wasn't the most nutritious meal. That coupled with the fact that they were standing in the rain all day, Rachel knew they could get easily sick within the next day.

Still, Rachel had never been this happy before. The barista was excited to see them again, too.

They sit at the same table they did two years ago – their usual table, their left hands intertwined.

Rachel stared at the rings on their hands - there was no greater proof of their love than those two pieces of jewelry.

"You think people will see us?" Finn asked.

"Let them," Rachel said, switching off her phone to avoid any interruptions.

They'll deal with the rest of the world tomorrow.

* * *

**A/N: The epilogue is all that's left. Thank you for reading.**


	8. Band Rule 1

**A/N: We've made it.**

* * *

It was a wonder they even fell asleep at all.

After dinner at the café, Finn carried her through the doorway of their apartment, and they finally, finally got to do what people who were in love do.

Honestly, they would have probably would have made love all night if the day hadn't been so eventful. Even with the caffeine from the coffee, confessing your love and eloping - all in one day - was a tiring ordeal. Still, they managed to stay awake to see the rising of the sun before they succumbed to sleep.

Yesterday, as perfect as it was, was gone. Now they had to deal with the aftermath of today.

Which began early. Rachel woke up to the sound of banging and buzzing on their front door.

She groaned, pressing her body closer to Finn's, who was beginning to wake up too.

"Let me guess," Finn mumbled, his eyes still closed. "It's them."

"Who else?" she muttered.

Finn sighed, finally opening his eyes. "Good morning," he said before kissing her - their first good morning kiss. "How much time do you think we have?"

Rachel thought about it. "Thirty seconds before Santana starts picking the lock, two minutes until the door opens."

Finn sighed. "We better get dressed then."

"Yes, only I get to see you like this," she winked at him before she got up.

"How do you feel?" she asked as she grabbed clothes and began to dress herself.

"Like I'm the luckiest person in the world. Lucky enough to take on Santana," Finn said, laughing as he too got dressed.

"How flattering," she said, now fully dressed. She walked and pressed her lips against his, her hands tugging on his already messy hair, his hands on her back to pull her closer. How wonderful was it that she could do this anytime she wanted to?

She smiled at him before stepping back and moved to give him a shirt so that he could finish dressing up. Finn smiled at her and put it on before taking ahold of her hand. They were going to face them together.

"If this door isn't open in 3 seconds, I'm burning it down," Santana yelled through the other side of the main door.

Taking a deep breath, Rachel opened the door and saw Santana, Puck, and Kurt glaring at them.

"We have a few questions for you, Berry. If that's even your name now," Santana stared at their hands before storming in. It wasn't.

Kurt and Puck followed.

Rachel began to get anxious - surely they knew what Finn and her had done. Now was their time to convince the others that the wedding vows Finn and her had made each other triumphed over any band rule. Hopefully they would understand.

They all awkwardly and silently went to the living room. Finn and Rachel stood in while the others sat down on the couch.

Finn spoke first. "I'm just going to say it. I love Rachel and she loves me," he looked down at her and smiled. "And we love each other so much that we got married."

Rachel squeezed Finn's hand as she spoke next. "I know we broke the rule before we amended it," she spoke slowly. "And I know you all must be rather upset -"

"Mad? Mad. You think I'm mad. I am outraged," Santana cut her off.

Rachel froze. Of all the band members, she didn't expect for Santana to react this way. Rachel gripped Finn's hand tighter.

They braced themselves for a classic Santana rant.

"You see, first, I had to sit by for two fucking years with the whole 'I hate Finn' and 'I hate Rachel' crap. Then, I spoonfeed you two the solution a year ago when I crashed one of the stupid coffee dates you two go on. I mean how much obvious could I have been? Apparently, not enough, because even as band leaders, you two still didn't change the rules. Do you know how frustrating that was? We kicked you out Rachel so you could live with Finn – still, nothing! It's exhausting. And the one weekend – the one time I go away - that's when you two decide to not only get together, but wait – get married!"

"Oh please. You're just upset that you lost." Kurt stood up, pointing at Santana. "You lost the bet. Rachel broke first," he said, his voice no longer sounding as if he was ill.

"We don't know that. All we know is that Rachel wrote the song," Santana crossed her arms.

Rachel, shocked at the entire encounter, tried to absorb what she just heard. Santana and Kurt… they've known how she's been feeling this entire time? Rachel placed a hand on her forehead – perhaps she was sick from the rain, and was just having illusions?

Rachel shook her head and spoke. She needed clarification. "First of all, all those times Finn and I got coffee – those weren't dates. But never mind that. Are you guys saying, what I think you're saying?"

"Yes, yes, we've known that you've been in love with my brother from the start," Kurt said. "And seriously? Even if you two didn't explicitly call them dates, only an idiot would think that you two going out to get coffee together every single freaking time it rained wasn't the equivalent of the date. But we ignored that entire aspect in our bet, because we knew that you two were idiots and didn't call them 'official' dates."

"You guys… made bets?" Finn asked, exchanging looks with Rachel, staring at each other in disbelief. Was this happening?

"A long time ago. Probably after Finn and Puck moved out. We made bets to see who would cave first and ask the other out on an official date," Santana said. "Now, can we get straight to it? Who broke first?"

"Rachel said I love you first," Finn said.

"Aha!" Kurt clapped his hands. "I knew I was right to pretend to be sick yesterday!"

"But Finn asked me to marry him."

"There we go," Santana threw her hands up in the air. "I won."

"But Rachel was the one to initiated it all," Kurt argued.

"Wait a minute. So Kurt you bet on Rachel, Santana on me..." Finn clarified.

"Oh yes," Kurt laughed. "I bet that Rachel would break the rule first and ask Finn out, you know, officially. Santana bet on Finn. That's why I wanted you as band leader. That's why she nominated Finn. Puck foolishly bet that neither you would break the rules. Ha, so naïve."

"Excuse me," Puck finally spoke. "We're you not listening? I won the bet."

"Puckerman, you are dumber than the world gives you credit for," Santana rolled her eyes. "Just accept defeat and pay up."

"No way," Puck shook his head. "Finn and Rachel never broke the rule. Rule #14 clearly states that band members are not allowed to date other band members. The key word being 'date'. As far I know, Finn and Rachel never dated - at least not officially. They just confessed their feelings. They skipped the dating stage and moved straight the marriage stage."

"Oh well Finn and I got coffee last night as a date," Rachel corrected. "Finn's idea to get coffee. My idea to get food"

"Ha!" Santana and Kurt exclaimed at the same time.

"Too late," Puck said. "That was after you two got married. A completely different label. It's like I said, they never broke the rules. Without even knowing, they found a loophole.

"That's absurd!" Kurt shrieked.

Rachel tilted her head in thought. "Noah's right. Under the context by which we created that rule, dating was meant as label - like a stage in a relationship. Finn and I… well we never had that label."

Finn smiled at her. "Look at us, finding the loophole." he bend down and kissed her in front of everyone.

Kurt and Santana groaned.

"I'm still confused. If you guys knew how we were feeling, why didn't you guys just tell us?" Rachel asked, feeling slightly betrayed that they knew how she truly felt this entire time. Would things have been different if they had gotten rid of the rule a long time ago?

"There are betting rules," Kurt said. "For example, if I told you that we were okay with it, you would have asked Finn first, giving me an automatic win. But Rachel, we tried to implicitly show you, right? Me telling you to work more with Finn. Me telling you I was in love with Blaine was meant to show you and love was supposed to triumph all, although that backfired on me. Face it Rachel, you were too stubborn to see it. You both were."

Rachel looked back at Finn, who just shrugged and held her hand tighter. Rachel could feel his ring press into his hand.

No. She stood by what she knew yesterday - she wouldn't change a thing, regardless of what could have been. Not if it led her here.

"You're right. I guess that's why we eloped - we were too stubborn to do things 'properly.' So wait, you guys aren't mad?" Rachel asked, her arm around Finn. Even if they were okay with their relationship, Finn and Rachel did go behind their backs and eloped.

"I told you, I'm outraged. And now I've lost to Puck of all people!" Santana said. "But I'm most upset that you didn't even invite us to the wedding. I mean who are we to you guys?"

"My feelings exactly," Kurt said. "And can you imagine what your poor mother must be feeling, Finn?"

"Oh my god," Rachel sat down on the empty couch behind them. She hadn't even considered their parents.

Finn sat down next to her, also feeling the guilt. "Hey, that's your punishment for placing bets on our relationship. But... we'll make it up to you all – to all of you. We'll have a ceremony. You can plan it Kurt."

"All is forgiven" Kurt said. "Now, show us the rings."

Feeling a little better, Rachel smiled at Finn before extending her hand out. Having the band accept the two of them felt like a huge weight off of their shoulders.

Santana smirked. "That's the best you could do, Hudson? You know, if I was there, I would have been able to snag you a better deal."

Finn ignored her. "You guys are really okay with this?" he asked.

"Finn," Kurt said flatly. "What the first band rule?"

"Band members must look out for another."

Rachel knew all the rules by heart. In her fear, she had forgotten the implications of the first rule. It was the same rule she had quoted to Kurt when she told him that he shouldn't date Blaine. That wasn't the right interpretation of the rule, she knew now.

"Exactly. And we're looking out for your happiness. Both yours and Rachel's. We love you guys. And regardless of whether of not you two broke the rules – well you're stuck with us."

And they end up in massive group hug.

"Well I look forward to many more years with the five of us as a band," Rachel stated.

"I'm afraid that's not going to happen," Puck said suddenly.

"What do you mean?" Finn asked.

"I actually did have to go to the doctor's office yesterday. Unlike Kurt, mine was a real excuse. I uh – I went with Quinn… and well… she's pregnant."

There was dead silence.

"We've known for a couple of weeks now. It happened right when we came back from our tour with Mercedes. Guess really Fabray missed me. But I've got a daughter on the way. With all this touring and late shows, well I can't do it anymore."

"You're leaving the band?" Finn asked.

"Aw don't get sentimental on me Hudson," Puck walked up next to Finn and punched his arm. "I'm leaving the band but I'm not leaving you guys. And I've already found a good replacement. Quinn used to date this dude named Sam. Get this, he's a model and he can play the guitar. We need at least single heartthrob on our band."

This was life - Rachel was discovering. Milestones initiated change - that was inevitable. The band would never be the same. And yet, Rachel wasn't worried. She was seeing, right before her eyes, that the band itself wasn't forever. And yet, their friendship was, because through it all, they all loved each other. Nothing would break the the bond that the five of them shared.

"Well we are happy for you," Rachel said. Even she couldn't help but to feel a little down at the thought of Puck leaving, she knew he would still in her life forever.

"I bet you it's a girl," Santana said to Kurt.

"Fine, boy," Kurt stuck out his hand for Santana to shake.

"Great, now pay up – I want my dino nuggets. And hey, are we not going to talk about how Hudson finally got laid?" Puck joked.

"Both Hudsons," Santana winked.

Finn and Rachel laughed.

Finn smiled at her and cupped her cheeks. "It's amazing, huh Buddy? Everything worked out." He's about to kiss her before they get interrupted.

"What the heck did you just call her?"

"Buddy. It's our name for each other," Finn said, removing his hands off her face to pull her to his side.

"Term of endearment. Like how people call their significant other other 'babe' or 'honey'." Rachel said, placing a hand on his chest. "Ours is Buddy."

"It's a single word that captures what we mean to each other."

"An all-encompassing label. Let's see... so far it includes: best friend, bandmate, roommate, tradition partner, love of my life, spouse, and well, everything else that we just can't put into words."

"Notice how it never included boyfriend/girlfriend," Puck said.

"God, you guys are disgusting. I don't know what's worse, the bickering, or the cheesy lovey-dovey affection."

Kurt sighed. "Well, I think we've waited long enough. Tell us everything. Like what's the real reason why you two get coffee every time it rains?"

"Well, it all began one rainy day two years and one day ago..."

* * *

_Three years later_

It was raining.

Rachel watched from bed as the water droplets hit against the bedroom window. She knew what the rain meant.

Finn was drinking coffee.

Of course, she could smell it, strongly – that was why she woke up in the first place.

She groaned as she struggled to get up. She was still tired from the night before and so she's surprised Finn was even up this early. Sure enough, there was Finn when she opened the bedroom door, sitting on the dining table drinking coffee.

"I hate you," she said, bending down to give him a kiss. She loved him, but her emotions were running all over the place lately, and so she had half a mind to chuck that coffee into the sink.

"Sorry," he leaned in for another kiss before kissing her stomach. "You could have a little, if you want. They say a little coffee is okay."

Rachel put a hand on her hip. "Finn, there's no way that I'm putting anything into my body that has even the slightest chance of potentially harm our baby."

Seriously, men.

Finn smiled. "You must really love that baby then."

"Of course I do. But you don't have to rub it in by drinking it every single time it rains," Rachel groaned.

She won't tell him to stop, of course. Because she really did love the mere smell of it and she won't let Finn stop drinking it because she's superstitious.

Plus, she appreciated having her other half carry on the tradition. Still, she loved bantering with her best friend. Old habits die hard.

"Sorry, can't help it," Finn played along. "You see, one rainy day, years ago, I met this girl, and she took my coffee virginity away from me. Since then, I need to have to have one every time it rains."

Rachel smiled at him, still not quite believing how far they've come.

"Wow, sounds like this girl really changed your life."

"She really did. Changed my life so much that I married her without even dating her."

Rachel twisted the wedding band on her ring finger, remembering the day very clearly.

"That's pretty spontaneous of you. I on the other hand, married my best friend, my Buddy."

Finn raised his eyebrows. "Yeah? And how's that working out for you?"

"Even better than I could have possibly dreamed of," Rachel leaned forward to kiss him, keeping on hand his cheek. "My Buddy is the absolute best friend, husband, and soon father. Even if he did impregnate me at the worst time possible," she said accusingly.

"Yeah, Kurt and Santana still aren't shutting up about how you'll be 8 months pregnant at their joint wedding," Finn blushed, rubbing his head.

Rachel scoffed, her friends were something else. "Please, the moment Baby Hudson comes, they'll be spoiling that kid rotten." Rachel placed a hand on her stomach, rubbing it fondly.

Kurt and Blaine had gotten together not long after Finn and Rachel got married. Blaine certainly had a lot of press to deal with as part of the aftermath, but, with a little convincing from Rachel, Blaine finally realized it was okay to date someone in the business.

"I can't believe we're here. You're happy, right?" Finn's eyes find hers. "Even though the band is on a hiatus?"

Rachel sat down on his lap and kissed him softly.

"Of course I am. We all knew the band wasn't going to be around forever. It was amazing while it lasted. And we're still close with everyone and we still have our traditional monthly dinners. I am just glad that we did end up finding something will last forever."

No matter how many awards they would win, no matter how many songs would make it to the top, their best legacy would always be the family they had formed and the additions that would join them in time.

Because time would go on. The seasons still changed. There were journeys to plan to take, more traditions to make, more moments to hold dear in her heart.

She's grateful for it, thankful that she decided to measure her life not in fear, not in stardom, but in love.

And she had a lot of it.

* * *

**A/N: And we're done. Thank you to the people that were the inspiration behind this story. Credits to the song "Seasons of Love," which helped write some of the elements in this story. And thank you to all of you guys, who have stuck with me and this story through the end.**


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